Author Topic: Thousand Yard Stare  (Read 4184 times)

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Offline Sam Kinison

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Response to 85DJ
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2007, 05:51:07 PM »
Bob,those are great questions.I came in September 1977,when Str8 was 1 year and 3 weeks old.Kathy,was Kathy Vosburgh,definitely needed work on the face but I was too busy admiring her busoms(I was only 16).Once I saw them,she could have had a face like Mr.Ed(the horse,not the old perv who sat at the front desk).I was there when 4th phasers graduated and the group was definitely a lot roudier when I came there then when I left.This was not by accident.Read the ISACS interview with the former director and a lot of this was made clear.The program actually had some altruistic roots,the old con about therapy was the goal and not profits.I guess some people realized that was great for rhetoric,but impractical as far as keeping a rehab's doors open and that's when things began to change more and more.I'm not sure about you and Mr. D,but my parents only paid at the intake and that was pretty much it.I was,when I came in,only one of a handful of rich kids from an upper-middle class family.By the time I left,I think that we were at least half of the group.Twenty percent of the kids who were sent there were sent there by Judge Dadswell or Judge Page,looking at far more serious consequences if they didn't enter the program.By the time I left,court orders were almost non-existant.I guess that Jim Hartz decided that it was far more practical to cure the drug habits of the kids from solvent families then from those of the insolvent.Bob,by the time you got there,most of the hard cases advanced or found their way out.Doug Hemminger,believe it or not,was very handy with his fists.There were lots of fights in the Rahall Building.As tough as I thought I was when I came in,the sheer numbers and some of the guys who they could subdue before I came in(there were a couple I knew)let me know right away that overt resistance was a losing cause.They probably did have those bats,but not by the time I got there.What they would do is put 6 to 8 fourth phasers around a jerk and take him to a vacant area about 50 yards long and "run" him.I never had it happen to me but I think they told the mark to run and if he didn't they would force by limbs and hair until his legs collapsed from exhaustion.This practice stopped when HRS started to visit and the Jerry Vancil interview hit the paper(Read Wes Fager).Laura Morgan had a daughter who went through the Seed,Jennifer,but she never had anything to do with Str8 as far as I knew.Marlene Hauser(remember her?)had a daughter who went through the Seed who was on Senior Staff when I came in named Robin German.Now,she was beautiful!If you ever saw her,Bob,you'd forget Terri.This was all before Phase 5 or a Seven Step Society.Probably,they changed their billing structure before these wonderful developments as well.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline CStrickland

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Thousand Yard Stare
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2007, 06:03:06 PM »
No friggin wonder so many of us have ocd and so many other disabilities from just trying to cope. I remember getting smaked upside the head just for staring at a cereal box. :roll: go friggin figure.Cutting , eating disorder, sleep depravation, verbal and emotion abuse.....I know wrong friggin thread.

Anyone else dealing with Fibromyalgia? IBS? I would love to talk to someone else dealing with htose issues too. I am currently working on my SSD and SSI I will take whichever.


Can someone also tell me this, what are he odds of me walking into my sons counselors and just mentioning off handed about stariaght and him lookin at me like OMG and telling me he was in the friggin SEED?


~Chris
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline hanzomon4

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Thousand Yard Stare
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2007, 11:42:00 PM »
Dude my Mom has Fibromyalgia, for those that don't know it's basically a pain disorder where you are in a constant state of pain and fatigue. No cure and treatment is a crap shoot, it can go into remission but can also flare up again. During the worst of it I couldn't even hug my mother without causing her a great deal of pain.

She never got SSI but from what I understand having a lawyer helps and also expect to be denied the first time, just reapply.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
i]Do something real, however, small. And don\'t-- don\'t diss the political things, but understand their limitations - Grace Lee Boggs[/i]
I do see the present and the future of our children as very dark. But I trust the people\'s capacity for reflection, rage, and rebellion - Oscar Olivera

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Offline 85 Day Jerk

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Don Harmon
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2007, 10:40:18 PM »
There were two brothers, Don and John Harmon.  I had John in two classes at school at Pinellas Park High.  I knew he was in Straight, yet he was confident and seemed pretty normal to me by druggy standards.  He even came in the room during my intake, but because we never did drugs or anything, they kept the visit short.  Him and and some 4th phase girl Cindy something, who had a brother with a fro named Billy, ran over the rules with me.  When it came time to go to group, Don Harmon's big gorilla ass came in and walked me out to group.  He was like "The Thing" and his finger was so big it would'nt even fit in my beltloop.  He just plopped his hand the size of a baseball mitt on my shoulder and led me out to group.

What a lot of people don't realize is that at the time I went in, Straight was actually considered legitamate by the community, was pretty well known, and had "turned a new leaf."  My home life was so fucked up at this point that I actually packed my own shit prior to my intake.  I knew I was coming in.  To me it was no different than being placed in the Florida Sherriffs Boys Ranch or some shit.  It was gonna be a vacation compared to my homelife.  I wanted a change.  

Well it turns out that by my 3rd or 4th day, I see that it is just a bunch of shit.  It is a fuckin Mickey Mouse Club ran by high school drop-outs and fucking morons.  They would'nt let me say what I had to say, so I just clammed up.  When they told me to relate, I told them I could'nt.  I told them I was'nt gonna make shit up just to make them happy.  When I found out I was really on a secret Court Program, all bets were off.  I became a jerk............for 85 days.........duh!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?

Offline Deprogrammed

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Topic lost????
« Reply #19 on: October 08, 2007, 06:11:03 PM »
where did this topic go to?
just wondering...
-DP
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Thousand Yard Stare
« Reply #20 on: October 08, 2007, 10:03:09 PM »
Quote from: ""Rachael""
When I was starting to really lose it in there, I did all sorts of things to try to keep from drowning.


I remember that feeling, that sensation of drowning.  Tightness around the diaphragm, and an anxiety that I was in over my head in a sea of madness, and was in constant danger of going under for the last time were everyday sensations.  They got particularly intense when the group was fired up in full mindless fury.  

I would count blocks in the walls, think about alternative future histories, design model spaceships, or fantasize about revenge against the staff.  Later, I started making plans to get out, and I think having a goal to achieve certainly helped, but the sensation of drowning, that feeling that I might slip under the waves if I wasn't careful, was almost always there.  When the group would get in a more intense than usual frenzy, it was downright scary, because when I was 'in my head' as they called it, I was extremely conscious of the fact that it was ME and THEM---there was no "US"----at those times I was very much aware that I was not part of the group, and potentially a target for it's wrath.   Those were the times in which I felt most intensely the sensation of drowning.


RTP2003
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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10 yard stare
« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2007, 04:23:14 PM »
I was only in straight for a short time, so I think I probably have a 10-or maybe 15yard stare.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Thousand Yard Stare
« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2007, 03:14:04 AM »
Quote from: ""hanzomon4""
During the worst of it I couldn't even hug my mother without causing her a great deal of pain.


I wish my mom had this, because that's the only way I'd want to hug her again.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »