How it Works

[Anne Bonney]

 

Oh come on now!   No one wants to see that kind of shit.  PM it to him.



Jeeeezus.

 :roll:  ::puke::

[TheWho]

PM it to him.

thanks alot Anne !!

[TheWho]

Anne Bonney wrote:

THAT is coercion.

Well, then everything fits that definition from putting your crayons away to going to school, to joining the field hockey team.  If I waited for my kids to ask to go to school, none of them would ever get an education.  You’re a parent, you know this, coercion is needed a nudge is needed…immersion into a new environment is needed sometimes especially when our children are in trouble and need help.  

Didn't you say there was a time period that she wouldn't speak to you after getting out? I can't swear to it, but I thought you posted about that.

No, when she got back she went back to her old friends for a bit and drank and smoked pot but she tired of the partying after a couple of weeks.  I have to admit, it put a scare into me, right after she got home.  But she had this amazing ability to communicate which she learned and we would sit down every night and check in with each other which was something we never had before (at least not in her teen years).  I gave her the space she needed and she tired of the intense life style and got back into her studies, I mean I am sure she still smokes pot once in awhile but she is focused on herself and things she wants which is a big change from pre ASR.  We communicated this back to ASR and they have developed a better program for when the children are transitioning back home.

Then YOU are the one who hasn't been reading. Its not really different at all. Especially given the fact that they use the therapeutic community approach that comes from Synanon.

You can trace any one thing or event back to many beginnings and origins, find similarities etc. , but ASR has a more clinical evidence based approach now reading what many kids here on fornits experienced vs. what ASR offers is like night and day.

Well, they like to say that and some may actually believe that but its not really true. You think you have an understanding because you have a child who went through, but you don't. My parents have no clue what really went on behind closed doors. For years they deluded themselves into thinking that they did, that it was what they 'had to do', that it really did 'save my life'. They found out differently once they removed the 'rose colored glasses'.

You are trying to take your experience and place it on everyone else.  Not everyone is like your dad or yourself.  Some people do have an understanding and communicate well.  No, I haven’t been thru what you have been thru and I don’t pretend to, but you haven’t been thru what my daughter and I have been thru, nor communicate on the same level.  I don’t just think or believe…I know what happened at ASR and a lot of the stories here on fornits about ASR or true to a certain extent, although a bit embellished, there are similarities to what she experienced, but she grew from them where others did not.  I never said these school are for everyone and agree that there should be a better screening process to ensure a higher percentage of children benefit from going there.

[Anne Bonney]

Well, then everything fits that definition from putting your crayons away to going to school, to joining the field hockey team.  If I waited for my kids to ask to go to school, none of them would ever get an education.  You’re a parent, you know this, coercion is needed a nudge is needed…immersion into a new environment is needed sometimes especially when our children are in trouble and need help.

No.  Forced participation in something that screws around with the mind and the psyche and the soul is very different from extra curricular activities in a normal school setting.  Don't EVEN compare the two.

Didn't you say there was a time period that she wouldn't speak to you after getting out? I can't swear to it, but I thought you posted about that.

No, when she got back she went back to her old friends for a bit and drank and smoked pot but she tired of the partying after a couple of weeks.  I have to admit, it put a scare into me, right after she got home.  But she had this amazing ability to communicate which she learned and we would sit down every night and check in with each other which was something we never had before (at least not in her teen years).  I gave her the space she needed and she tired of the intense life style and got back into her studies, I mean I am sure she still smokes pot once in awhile but she is focused on herself and things she wants which is a big change from pre ASR.  We communicated this back to ASR and they have developed a better program for when the children are transitioning back home.

Too bad you couldn't have done that before you shipped her off to strangers to fix.

You can trace any one thing or event back to many beginnings and origins, find similarities etc. , but ASR has a more clinical evidence based approach now reading what many kids here on fornits experienced vs. what ASR offers is like night and day.

AGAIN.  When the FUNDAMENTALS, the BASICS of the program are its fucked from the start.  There is no fixing it, tweeking it, changing it, remodeling it.  Its fucked at its core.

You are trying to take your experience and place it on everyone else.  Not everyone is like your dad or yourself.  Some people do have an understanding and communicate well.  No, I haven’t been thru what you have been thru and I don’t pretend to, but you haven’t been thru what my daughter and I have been thru, nor communicate on the same level.  I don’t just think or believe…I know what happened at ASR and a lot of the stories here on fornits about ASR or true to a certain extent, although a bit embellished, there are similarities to what she experienced, but she grew from them where others did not.  I never said these school are for everyone and agree that there should be a better screening process to ensure a higher percentage of children benefit from going there.

You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

[TheWho]

No. Forced participation in something that screws around with the mind and the psyche and the soul is very different from extra curricular activities in a normal school setting. Don't EVEN compare the two.

Its called "Least restrictive environment", she benefited and no one was screwing around with her psyche without her consent.

Too bad you couldn't have done that before you shipped her off to strangers to fix.

Yes it is, wish we could have.  We would have saved a year and a half of being away from each other.

AGAIN. When the FUNDAMENTALS, the BASICS of the program are the same and directly derived from and traced to Straight/Synanon etc. its fucked from the start. There is no fixing it, tweeking it, changing it, remodeling it. Its fucked at its core.

Seems like no one is going to change your mind on that one.  ASR isn’t derived from that, this is where you get hung up and try to tie everything back to straight.  They are done and buried, there are no marches against ASR or riots…it’s a boarding school that helps teens who are struggling, the kids who graduate go on with their lives, a few look back and see it as a bump in the road, a time where they needed a little help to get back on track.  No voodoo or brain washing, straight jackets or restraints…it doesn’t happen there…it is a therapeutic environment.

You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

Exactly my point, you have never been to ASR.  The doors are open, a parent can take a ride over and talk to the kids or staff, walk around campus (unescorted sometimes) , you have never been.  Dont judge.

[Anne Bonney]

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last word.[/color]

[Anonymous]

last word.[/color]

LOL... someone has a case of "last word syndrome" and it ain't you. WHO oh WHO cold it be?

[Anonymous]

So who. Do you think that if your daughter was not born into the family of a convicted sex offender she would have been in a better position and not needed the services of ASR?

When you committed your crime did you view it as no worse than having a child put their crayons away?
Do you loose any sleep over what you did? or have you just casually moved on with your life?
Are you aware that if you are trying to drum up business for this fucking evil school you are doing them no favors as even the worlds worst parent does not listen to a pervert.
When you got angry in the post you subsequently deleted you claimed you had paid your debt to society. Were you the belle of the ball in jail or did you just avoid bending over for the soap.
Fuck off to the nambla site you sick small pathetic little man. If there is a god you will die alone isolated from the world, sick with guilt for the filthy perverse wrongs you have committed against society. You will have some inkling of what it is like to feel wretched with lonelyness, fear, guilt and grief.
Nobody can respect a single word you say because you have committed a grave moral wrong that can not be amended. Just please do the only honorable thing you can and stop riling these people and crawl under a rock. They have been through enough. it is time for this shit to stop

[TheWho]

No. Forced participation in something that screws around with the mind and the psyche and the soul is very different from extra curricular activities in a normal school setting. Don't EVEN compare the two.

Its called "Least restrictive environment", she benefited and no one was screwing around with her psyche without her consent.

Too bad you couldn't have done that before you shipped her off to strangers to fix.

Yes it is, wish we could have.  We would have saved a year and a half of being away from each other.

AGAIN. When the FUNDAMENTALS, the BASICS of the program are the same and directly derived from and traced to Straight/Synanon etc. its fucked from the start. There is no fixing it, tweeking it, changing it, remodeling it. Its fucked at its core.

Seems like no one is going to change your mind on that one.  ASR isn’t derived from that, this is where you get hung up and try to tie everything back to straight.  They are done and buried, there are no marches against ASR or riots…it’s a boarding school that helps teens who are struggling, the kids who graduate go on with their lives, a few look back and see it as a bump in the road, a time where they needed a little help to get back on track.  No voodoo or brain washing, straight jackets or restraints…it doesn’t happen there…it is a therapeutic environment.

You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

Exactly my point, you have never been to ASR.  The doors are open, a parent can take a ride over and talk to the kids or staff, walk around campus (unescorted sometimes) , you have never been.  Dont judge.

But you do admit it was a "RESTRICTIVE" enviornment for your daughter.

[TheWho]

But you do admit it was a "RESTRICTIVE" enviornment for your daughter.

Yes, it was, restrictive and very structured.  It is very difficult to have one without the other.

Any activities involving young people are typically very structured and restrictive in order to be successful....summer camps.....school system......almost all sports activities.....boarding schools.

[Anonymous]

Anti-Derailment Post:

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t= ... c&start=60

There were more kids who were dangers to themselves. I honestly think ASR is very lucky in that no one has succeeded in committing suicide. I can tell you first hand that for someone with major depression ASR could drive you past breaking point easily. It seemed like they pick and chose who they took seriously about being suicidal. I was not taken seriously, and had my roommate not been in the room one day, I may well have taken my life. I do not say that to evoke pity or anything else like that, and I was not using it to "manipulate" ( a favorite ASR term)

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t= ... c&start=60
Three Springs Waygookin wrote:
1) What is self-study?

2) Describe this Escorting more please?

3) Why was a student doing the escorting of a self-harming/suicidal resident and not a staff member?


A self study was the worst of the three major consequences. (reflection, challenge, self study). You had work projects, all free time was spent at your table, facing the wall. Lots of writing assignments. Loss of all privileges. Standing during all meetings. You most likely had strict bans

Basically I had to take her back to the dorm and be with her while she gathered up her things and changed, etc. I don't remember if she showered or not. I was basically there to make sure she didn't attempt again.

I don't know why they had me do it. I was "trusted" at that point, and honestly... probably a better choice than some of the staff.

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t= ... r&start=15
yes, they did. to a large degree. Dean Kent (the staff mentioned in the article) was gone by the time i had arrived. (he was there in 1997, and i got to ASR in Cummington, MA on January 5th of 1998) i had heard from other students about Dean, that he was a really nice guy but fired b/c he'd called DSS on them. Brett Carey was still the Dean of Student Life when i arrived, and his wife Lisa also helped in the fitness department & was pregnant when i first arrived. They had 2 other daughters, Madison & Carly. The whole thought was a bit frightening, because when we had the 2 hour group "therapy" sessions 2 times a week, they were harsh and abusive to say the least. All of us students would be split into 2 groups, and we'd be rounded up in a circle to get screamed at, belittled and dehumanized. They called it "confrontational", although it was more like verbal abuse and intentional slaughtering.
i was very afraid while i was there, as a student with an extensive sexual abuse history involving rape & incest, i was constantly the target of this slaughtering, esp. b/c i was overweight at the time. needless to say, i left ASR with anorexia some 19 months later.
Brett & other students were all allowed to scream vulgarities at you, called you a "fat bitch, slut," and all. at the age of 15 i learned the word "dildo" while playing scrabble with Brett. One of my roomates claimed that Brett had forced her into sexual operations.
Most of all, it was excusable for students to haze each other.
It was almost looked at as funny. One Staff named Kristen Merhoff gave me funny looks and made sarcastic and patronizing comments when i'd opened up to her about my eating disorder.
Later on, a staff named Amy Robichaud would scream at me for ruining my life, pushing everyone away, talking about how i was a disasterous person, unworthy of being loved. To say the least, she was an abusive person, much alike a person in the throws of an addiction like alchoholism & drug addictions, both of which she admittedly had. There was a great deal of favoritism there, even staff who seemed to want to gain the approval of certain students.
The labor & sleep deprivation that was mentioned in the article is most likely in reference to the "Lifesteps". These were so called "workshops" it was mandatory for all students to attend. Staff and students would be expected to open up there deepest and most unknown
secrets for the sake of "growing". It's true, there was little sleeping allowed & often i myself left feeling shamed & ridiculed.
i was one of the main targets in that school the entire time i was there, a target of hazing & was even blamed for a student breaking into the med office and comsuming large quantities of my prescriptions. For the first 5 months i was there, you could litterally leave, go smoke 1/2 a pack of cigarettes, drop a couple tabs of acid, take like 5 hits off a joint come back & they wouldn't even realize it.
ASR is, to say the least, a very very fucked up place. i have several more things to say, but this whole thing would take eons.

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t= ... r&start=30

I am a former student at ASR. I was in the first peer group, 97-98. My experience there haunts me to this day. I have read many articles that refer to the "old staff" and "new staff". I cannot speak for the way ASR is run now, being 2004, but I can speak for how it was run in 97 and 98. Let me start by saying that I am not an angry, defiant kid who is trying to start trouble for ASR. I have graduated high school and am about to graduate college and enter law school. I don't get into trouble, I am a productive member of society, and want people to know the truth. We were badgered, belittled, sworn at, made to stay up all night during "life steps" and given only small rations of food, had all calls to our parents monitored by staff and had the phone hung up on us if we tried to complain to our parents about these things, scrutinized and humiliated on a daily basis. Our mail was read, staff lost their voices by yelling so loudly at us, I personally was called a "slut", a rich little Daddysgirl, a doormat, told my dad tried to buy my love with money, made to discuss personal sexual and private experiences in group sessions with other peers, made to write a ten page paper by hand about what my "issues" were, and if the staff didn't like it, I started over ( this was because I was too close to my friend there, and they put us on bans so we couldn't talk to each other). People, whomever wants to hear specific stories about all of these things, I would be more than happy to share with you!!! email me at [email protected] i bet i can help you get her out of there


I also graduated from ASR very recently on August the 6th. And I can tell you right now that any kid who complained, their parents were manipulated right out of believing them. There was extreme emotional abuse there, and the only reason anyone's behavior was modified was because they were scared shitless of staying there longer or going to a worse program. We were so scared, your own friends turned against you and you couldnt trust them. The group sessions were awful. One of my friends who had issues with sleeping around was in group and the counselor in the room told her that she might as well keep a mattress tied to her back. Daily, I heard awful things about myself and everyday I was just so sad. Places like this are awful and they need to be stopped. ASR isnt even the worst of them but they all need to go.

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t= ... r&start=60

I am a an ASR graduate. I graduated in October of 03. At the end of the program I believed that ASR had done a lot for me. Looking back I am shocked that I ever thought that. I was made to turn against my friends and turn them in for the slightest rule breaking (for example listening to music). In group we were often degraded and yelled at, supposedly to make us better. Several times I was suicidal and instead of worrying they told me I was lying and being manipulative. In one group eveyone was allowed to go around and say their judgements against everyone else things like "youre a fat slut". That group was horrible. You were scared into being good and behaving. I'm not sure why I thought this place was so great, I feel as if I was brainwashed in a way.
The wilderness experience was horrible. I spent over 40 days in the outdoors being punished for any little thing we did wrong. My first day I had to run 20 minutes and when I stopped the counselers screamed at me and when i vomited they didnt care. just told me i shouldt have drank so muich water.

[TheWho]

But you do admit it was a "RESTRICTIVE" enviornment for your daughter.

Yes, it was, restrictive and very structured.  It is very difficult to have one without the other.

Any activities involving young people are typically very structured and restrictive in order to be successful....summer camps.....school system......almost all sports activities.....boarding schools.

But these schools are known to not allow kids to be kids.  They restrict their growth and restrict them from talking to each other, force them to sleep outside if they are bad, refuse to feed them.  I have seen it written here.
It goes beyond just phones calls.

[TheWho]

But you do admit it was a "RESTRICTIVE" enviornment for your daughter.

Yes, it was, restrictive and very structured.  It is very difficult to have one without the other.

Any activities involving young people are typically very structured and restrictive in order to be successful....summer camps.....school system......almost all sports activities.....boarding schools.

But these schools are known to not allow kids to be kids.  They restrict their growth and restrict them from talking to each other, force them to sleep outside if they are bad, refuse to feed them.  I have seen it written here.
It goes beyond just phones calls.

You cant believe everything you read here.  ASR doesn’t withhold food or force the kids to sleep outside for punishment..... I am sure some of the stories you read here are true and some are not, but how are we to know which ones to believe.

The same kids that claim to have been abused at these schools and calling foul are also saying that I am a serial killer, rapist even child molester Ha,Ha,Ha,.   I think they mean well (in their own way) but their stories are just that (Stories) in many cases and need to be taken with a grain of salt, they are a little frustrated that I don’t agree with their point of view.

As I suggest to many parents is to not take my word or those here on fornits as gospel.  Call the schools and ask them if you could speak with parents who had kids go thru the program or take a ride over and walk thru the campus, talk to a few of the kids at random, that is what I did, and you will get a better feel if it is a good fit for your son or daughter.

[Anonymous]

You cant believe everything I say.  ASR does withhold food and force the kids to sleep outside for punishment..... although I'd love to pretend otherwise by making snide remarks about how most of the posters here are liars, it's obviously not working and, frankly, if even a third of this shit is true this hellhole is a place to avoid.

The same kids that have been abused at these schools and calling foul are also correct in saying that I am a serial killer, rapist even child molester Ha,Ha,Ha, *wank wank wank*. God I love torturing kids. I think they mean well (in their own way) but their stories are quite true in pretty much cases and need to be taken as fact, they are a little frustrated that I intend to derail Fornits as much as possible.

As I suggest to many parents is to take my word as gospel. Instead of finding unbiased information, call the shitpits and ask them if you could speak with parents who had kids go thru the program (of course they won't give you the phone numbers of the ones who wised up and pulled their kids!) or take a ride over and take an EXTREMELY guided tour, talk to a few of the kids at random (no, not the kids they hid away for the visit, don't try to find THEM!), that is what I did, and you just might end up like me. And isn't that what you want in life as a parent? To end up having to defend an incredibly poor decision for three thousand posts against an unyielding Fornits while your daughter remains estranged?

[Anonymous]

The who himself admitted to being a child molester after somebody posted his listing on the sexual offenders registry. His exact words were "i have paid my debt to society" He then deleted it. I am hoping somebody will repost this.

Dont debate this piece of shit. Dont even acknowledge his existence. He is nothing. He has no merit or right to be heard.