This type of thing must stop

[Anonymous]

Miller Newton touched my junk liberally. He strapped me in to his Straightmobile and he
couldnt keep his offensive hands off of me. He was performing many red flag touches. I couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. I told Miller Newton the city would not approve
of a millionaire touching an underage kid for free. Can you believe it? Miller Newton did all this. He picked me off the street, strapped my arms and legs down in the Straightmobile's passenger seat, and just wouldn't stop fondling my cock'n'balls.
They definately were red flag touches. The goddamn referee he had in the back seat kept on
raising up this red flag every time he touched my junk but did "Dr." Newton care? NO WAY! He
just kept on doing it. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on, indeed. I pleaded with Miller Newton but to no avail. I told him the city would not approve of such a wealthy man
touching an underage kid like me (at the time I was 13) without at least compensating me for the trauma and the use of my body as his own personal plaything.
This got to him, worrying about his image. he continued to fondle me, all the while ignoring
the referee's red flags. Then he drove the Straightmobile to my house and ejected the seat I was in! It was amazing. But surprisingly, after I woke up the next morning, my bank account had $150k in it!!! Can you believe it??

[Red Flag Touches]

It's been YEARS and I still cant believe it.

Can we get t-shirts for this now?

[Joseph W. Gauld]

Give it a frigin rest!!

For crying out loud, you kids wouldn't know an opportunity for character development if it fucked you in the face!  One of my oldest and dearest friends, Sumner Hawley, practically a co-founder with me of the esteemed Hyde School, always had a soft spot for the lost souls of young boys... After he died, we created the Sumner Hawley Society for rich, elitist, narcissistic dick-shits who decide to note Hyde in their will.  I figure it'll be at least twenty years before Sum's "special friends" come to light, and by then I'll be wealthy enough to move to Hawaii for good...

Good riddance, you little suckers!!  Miller had the right idea!!

Joe Almighty, The Educator

(ruthie, meet me in the parking lot, heh heh...)

[seamus]

AMEN LET us pray ,heavenly father please keep me from killing the motherfuckers that misuse me ,and from skinning alive any trifling fuck who,abuses me.WE ask this in JEEEEEEZus name AAAAAAMEN



  MIller NEWToN,YOU ARE STARTED OVER DAY ONE,fucking fraud.


AND forgive Rational Ralph fer touchin mah PeePee too