Ursus, I nearly ended up in Hyde instead of ELan back in "91" I had a pal there named...I forgot his name..OOPS! To many drugs I guess. He seemed to like it.
I got a call from my DCF worker after spending the last year of my life in and out of these horrid teenage homeless shelters after my Auntie turned me over to the state of Ct. when I did not clean my room good enough and talked on the phone in my room to much (true story) And she told me that there was a "great" place in Maine that the kids "loved" and that they "asked" to go there.
They "skied, waterskied, sailed, rode horses, swam, lived in cute little cabins in the woods, cross country skied, rode bikes, had fun, had friends and surrogate parents that loved them there, were treated kind and were understood" I was also told I could read and write all I wanted and there were a few short groups a day to attend before night school. Lots of free time to chill and reflect.
I assumed it was like this Hyde joint my pal was at so I said "YES".
When I pulled up after a 8 hour long ride in the crappy snow all I saw was trailors and ELan 3. I was in shock! Tired and in shick. I snuck off smoked a cig and 1/2 a joint and went into Elan 1 and was like where is my cabin? And they laughed at me and were like this is not a resort, your not in Oz anymore Dorthy. I was furious and RAN out the door after the caseworker screaming at her that she deceived me and to take me home NOW! She said in a week if I felt the same I could go home. Liar. Whore. Lying whore.
Well, I was there from Feb 91-Sept 93. I had like 10000000 3 houses, 10000000 1 house GM's, 1000000000 HM's, 23000000000000 VR's, Etc....
The place was truly fucked! In a group once Marc told some tall, lanky, dorky kid named Sean (who was a goofy, cool dork type kid) that he gets blowjobs when he goes home and drinks beer while Sean was here in Elan jerking off in the mens dorms. I was so disgusted I left the fucking group. I got a stern VR/TT from Marc and a LE of GI'ing mops. I hated that LE.
That place was wacked. Thinking about it leaves me speechless at times. I liked what someone posted about it being like "Lord of the Flies".
I loved that book and said the same thing when I was there. I actually called it a lot of unflattering things.
I saw kids with obvious mental issues get raked over the coals, like Susan norris and Sean Dykstra. Those poor kids were so tapped upstairs and tortured by Elan's ignorance. I talked to them in depth when they were in my house and they were nice kids but had lived lives of hell before Elan. They needed help. Medical and psychiatric.
Elan let kids down. Some kids did OK there and that amazed me. How did they do it? Were they less fucked than I? Less emotional? Less sensitive? I took everything in around me and let it afffect me. Everyones emotions affected me a lot. That was bad when I was there but showed I was human. Maybe to human and they fed off of me like vultures.
When my friend died after she split Tanya M. told me I should of died in her place cuz she was better than I. Telling that to me a 15 yo and a kid who was over emotional was like putting a gun in my hand and telling me to kill my worthless self. That night I took like 50 assorted pills and all I did was barf all night! I am glad now I was OK but when I told my dad what happened I was home shortly after that. They blacked out the negative things I wrote in my letters to him. Actually blacked it out! So he did not know the real deal.
They do a job on parents btw. They tell them your a liar, user, loser, manipualtor, suicidal,Etc.
I think the 70's-80's crew like Eliscu, Ursus, Artie, X Rez, Etc. saw a evil side of Elan we did not see. It must of been REAL bad back then for you all! How did you guys do it?
