Handle disapointment well?

[Woof-a-Doof]

I work for a living. There was a time when I simply showed up to get paid. There were times when I was captivated by my work, enthralled with my work. But today, I worked for a paycheck. I got a pocket full of cash that will pay for this and pay for that, bills will be paid and larders will be filled, its all-good…cept,

 I feel jaded somehow.

Lemme draw the scene…I sit before you filthy. Oil, grease, muck, metal filings, saw dust…half-baked and have yet to take a shower. Not that there is any thing wrong with working in an environment that will bring me to such a state of dishevelment. Its honest work that pays the bills and its all for a “good causeâ€

[Anonymous]

Hey Woof, For that short moment in time that I had the pleasure of your company way back whenever/wherever, I surely felt no disappointment. I felt much hope and actually still contemplate a return visit down there, filled with your company to and at some point. Hell, I don't even know your name but it doesn't matter all these years later. Don't fret too much about the "disappointing people", they are all over the place. Just keep them memories of better days close by and you'll be just fine. Now, on the order of your vehicle, we could deck it out with an electronics gold mining lab and visit the large recycling companies, making millions off of the gold and selling artwork to boot?  :lol: There is a market for such a thing...

RG

[Woof-a-Doof]

Hey Woof, For that short moment in time that I had the pleasure of your company way back whenever/wherever, I surely felt no disappointment. I felt much hope and actually still contemplate a return visit down there, filled with your company to and at some point. Hell, I don't even know your name but it doesn't matter all these years later. Don't fret too much about the "disappointing people", they are all over the place. Just keep them memories of better days close by and you'll be just fine. Now, on the order of your vehicle, we could deck it out with an electronics gold mining lab and visit the large recycling companies, making millions off of the gold and selling artwork to boot?  :lol: There is a market for such a thing...

RG

Thanks for the heart felt encouragement. Usually, I tend to keep things in some type of prespective...other times I have a four minute memory, like a tree frog.

However yes, I do remember our meeting. It was at a Mel Sembler rally in Tampa, wasnt last years event but the year before. We all created a stink that evening! I am sure while Mel was recevieving his award/recognition (which seems to happen every year, just seems odd and arogant to me) that many of his guests were still wondering about who and what we were raising so much hell about. I can only imagine the people that we actually got to speak with and how they felt when Mel took the stage.

I remember your surname as Metal God, hence the metal salvage reference. We were not incarcerated at the same time, which does not matter. I sincerly believe we felt and still have the same convictions. I recall you as being a gentle person, a good person! I know ya traveled a long way to attend that gathering..to me that says alot!

I know of the metals in puters, but have no idea about how to retrieve them from machines in a way that would be profitable...doesnt mean I can not be taught :wink:  In regards to selling art work....Uh, you mean my art work??? Surely tho jest...As my catch phrase on my web site says...."Art that won't match your couch".

As I was writting the OP and I was thinking of disapointent I remembered (ever so vaguely) a song by Neil Young. It's title I cant remember, but one verse sticks out that said in effect..."If ya trust people, they will always let ya down." I believe hope and fear are both born from imagination. And I have always kinda thought that my own imagination was my own entertainment system...sometimes the entertainment can be poor to my liking. I dont subscribe (but all to often I fall for it) to the notion that others can offer me hope. This is a time of deep reflection for me. Whats different this go around, I got options...Time to explore these options.

Thanks for the responce, much appreciated!

Namaste
woof

[Anonymous]

Hey ya Woof!   Your description of the heat reminded me of my days in Morgan Yacht, sweating my ass off for 3 summers.   I rarely think of those days anymore, but I can assure you, as I sweat this summer, the thoughts of those times will come rushing back to me.


Disappointment is something I think I am facing more as I get older.  More and more often it seems that stuff I didn't deal with appropriately in my earlier days is coming back to kick me in the teeth.    Sometimes I get so fucking disappointed in the man/person that I have become that I want to scream.    I can't believe that I have done this but I have started seeing a the-rapist to see if I can get a handle on some of my shortcomings / character flaws before I get way too fucking old.  (I am in my late 40's)...can't fucking believe my age either!

Woof - we too have spent time together during and after our time in straight.     I think you are a great guy; on my program, you never did anything mean to me; when we in the "society" we hung out and you treated people with respect; and when we met as adults and from what I have read on this fornits board, you are a really good person, that cares about his family, justice and friends.   Don't be too disappointed.    From my POV, your a good man.

[85 Day Jerk]

Hey Woof, sometimes we get so caught up in our routines that we never realize just how repeatative we are with our lives.  Try little things like  packing a lunch and going to a nice quiet park to eat it, instead of racing out the door, ripping down to McD's, scarfing your burgers so fast ya don't even taste em and abusing your vehicle in an effort to make it back to the time clock.

Instead of simply seeing how fast you can make it through your front door after clocking out, stop by the library or a mall or something and just soak up some air-conditioning.   If you are sweaty and greasy and shit, head for Lowe's or Home Depot and just wander around, no one will think anything of it.  You just look like someone who needs more material.  This will give you a chance to discharge some of that negative energy.  Hell, you can even have some fun with it.  If you get interrupted from your thoughts by some over-zealous sales person, why not send them on a "fools errand," like have them help you look for a Glass Magnet, or a Left Handed Roofing Hammer.  What I am getting at is that I know all too well what a drag it is to leave work in Pinellas County and not have a clear-cut plan to do anything.  The traffic and heat and the roads suck so bad, that all you can think of is getting home so you can make it all just fucking STOP!

The first time I tried this sort of thing was Christmas '94 working for Montgomery Ward in Pinellas Square Mall.  The goddamn crowds would litterally make my head swim, and I would be so stressed out, not even the meds could keep up.  We were given a whole hour for lunch whether we wanted it or not.  I got tired of the whole 'eating mall food' shit, so I started packing a lunch.  One day coming home from work, I took a different road to pick up some oil for my car and came upon a sign for Sawgrass Lake Park.  I had never been there.  It was beautiful. Nestled along I-275 off of 62nd Ave North is about 72 acres of pristine Pine Hammock and all sorts of wildlife.  They built boardwalks all over a swampy patch near a lake and preserved the area.  I started eating my lunch there every day and it was'nt long before some of my co-workers joined in.  It is really mind boggling just how many parks there are in the city of St. Pete.  Maybe my ideas won't work for you, but you'll never know unless you try.        Bob

[Froderik]

why not send them on a "fools errand," like have them help you look for a Glass Magnet, or a Left Handed Roofing Hammer.

:rofl: :lol:

[4Reagan2Youth0]

After bonding out of jail last May in Midland, TX, I went to Las Cruces, NM..   I was broke, on felony bond, under some sorta FBI investigation because of interstate meth trafficing allegations and kinda fucked..

I needed a job..  The counseling place that the Drug Court contracted out to was hiring a UA Monitor...I thought "no way, it would never happen" but I applied anyway..
After woeing them with my "botching UA/drug knowledge" they hired me. ::nod::  I thought "I'm about to get hooked the fuck up" ::birthday::

A few months later (hooked the fucked up) I was dodging giant dinosaur bats fliyng around the office when the probation dept called me..
ring ring
Prob officier: "We did  ramdon UA's on all our clients today and they are all dirty.  When you tested them yesterday they were all clean."

Me: "You probley have a bad batch of tests, I've noticed that some batches of the tests are faulty.  Send your clients back to me and I'll re-test them."

THE next day:   (at this point I had been awake for over a week)

ring ring: me "hello"

My boss:  "100% of your clients have been clean for 30 days straight.  That is impossible"

me: " I don't know, I'll check into in it, but really I think you counselors are just doing a great job with keeping them sober."

My boss:  "In my 20 year career of drug counseling that has never happened, it's not possible."

me: "anything is possible, you're doing a great job with them, keep up the good work" *click*

Just as I'm settleing back into my Shannon Elizabeth look-a-like porno..........
ring ring..

Me: FUCK "hello"

Probation dept: " All the people you re-tested yesterday that came out clean on YOUR test are dirty again today on OUR test.  And it's a brand new batch of tests."

Me: "I think I heard some of them talking about using that pig urine they sell at Walmart"

PO: "what, pig urine at Walmart?"

me: "yea, Walmart sells pig urine that is used for some kind of ailment, I think maybe some of the clients might be using that to trick me with"

PO: "we'll check into that"

So a group of drug court officiers, probation officiers and drug counselors go on a feild trip to Walmart looking for pig urine..

THE NEXT day:

The human resources group came in my office with a long list of allegations accusing me of violating policies, which if I may say here, none of it was true..  But afterward they said "you're FIRED" and they kicked me off the property..

I mean, try to do a good job with helping keep people sober and that's how they treat ya.........fucking bastards..

[Nonconformistlaw]

Disappointment? I've been debating posting about this cause disappointment doesnt quite describe how I feel. Pissed off is more like it. You can also add insulted and embarrassed to the list too. And believe me, it is not easy to piss me off cause I am pretty damn easy going.

August 11, 2007 was to be the first Cincinnati/Michigan Reunion. For those of you who were genuninely interested but things came up, or you couldnt make it for whatever reason, I am not mad at any of you. Life happens and I am completely cool with that. Many people backed out and told me about it, and that is cool. But I will NEVER plan one again. Why?

I invested a lot of time and money and NOT ONE PERSON showed up. If everyone would have RSVP'd that they werent coming and I KNEW no one was coming, that would be disappointing, but it would not piss me off.

The problem is that some people RSVP'd that they were DEFINITELY coming and did not show up. In all, I was EXPECTING 6 people (7 including me)....and of course there were some who said "MAYBE." So I planned for 20 just in case (knowing that many "maybes" would not show up, I just wanted to make sure I had plenty in case some "maybes" did come). I am not remotely pissed at anyone who said maybe cause maybe means just that, maybe.  But when people RSVP that they are DEFINITELY coming, then dont bother to let me know that they cant make it, and dont show up, that is RUDE as hell. I spent a shitload of money on food, a xtra cooler, drinks, cornhole, and lighting for the yard for NOTHING.

Naturally I made the most of all the food and fun stuff I had set up. My brother and I played the brand new cornhole game I got just for the reunion. My brother, dad, my godfather and I all grilled out, drank beer out in the yard illuminated by the new bambo oil burning yard lights I got, just for the reunion, etc. I still managed to have fun. But that is not the point.

I cant freakin believe people couldnt send a simple freakin email or make a quick call to tell me they couldnt make it.

[Anonymous]

damn, hang in there NCL.  ::cheers::  That's really sad to hear.

[Nonconformistlaw]

damn, hang in there NCL.  ::cheers::  That's really sad to hear.

*sigh* I'll eventually get over it.  

[85 Day Jerk]

There was a guy in St. Pete that planned a reunion for Old Timers from the Seed and early Straight.  He spent alot of money and stuff and it was all set to go on Saturday Sept. 15, 2001.  Unfortunately, on a Tuesday morning that week, a couple of nuts decided it would be cool to fly a couple of commercial jets into some towers in New York.  Okay, I can see how something like that may have messed up a reunion, but as for what happened to the plans set out by Non Conformist, you was robbed!, you was robbed!  :evil:  :evil:  Well, that's how I feel about it.  Reunions are a damn hard pill to swallow, but I still am grateful I was able to attend the Second Annual Conference that was held in downtown St. Petersburg.

[Woof-a-Doof]

Be forewarned the following is a rambling sequence of words that appear to have no end. They are however a series of thoughts I had throughout the day in reference to this post and to those who have responded. For those not unlike me, with ADD and cocker spaniel attention spans, I do so apologize for its length.

As the pangs of disappointment begin to simmer down to a dull roar and rational thought once again begins to take hold. I think back to the days aforementioned; those dawg days of summers past spent locked up in various warehouses. In those days disappointment was the norm, day in and day out there was the oppressive disappointment.

Expect “TALKâ€

[seamus]

Its odd as hell the things that fate throws us when we are about to drown.Sometimes a lifering,sometimes an anvil ,sometimes an anvil that LOOKS like a lifering.Ive had my share of ups and downs,holy shit .A little jail time,probation,good jobs,shit jobs.Bad women,(and a really GREAT one too).Sometimes I just dont play the cards Im dealt very well,I mean just cause its a shitty hand dosnt mean I gotta act a fool....It seems to just come with the territory...I had a really,really crazy parent .I spent about 4-5 years of my childhood/adolescence locked up in one shitbox or another,but because ive been totally fucked at times ,dont mean(nice grammer,huh)Im gonna stay that way.
 Usually,I dont give up ,I fucking hate giving up,even when something is absolutely un-tenable,I gotta make myself quit.THAT is MY hell.Then I sit around and kick the shit out of myself with second geusses,and a whole host of ?  I LL argue with a concrete block to try and get my point across.
Funny the older I get I say stuff to my self like . What were you thinking messing with that trifling bitch,(or drug) what a complete waste of time, you shoulda been ............I ve got a way better handle on my own dissapointment in that I can put it behind me a lot quicker than before and at least be functional at that NEXT THING.

[Deprogrammed]

Disappointment? I've been debating posting about this cause disappointment doesnt quite describe how I feel. Pissed off is more like it. You can also add insulted and embarrassed to the list too. And believe me, it is not easy to piss me off cause I am pretty damn easy going.

August 11, 2007 was to be the first Cincinnati/Michigan Reunion. For those of you who were genuninely interested but things came up, or you couldnt make it for whatever reason, I am not mad at any of you. Life happens and I am completely cool with that. Many people backed out and told me about it, and that is cool. But I will NEVER plan one again. Why?

I invested a lot of time and money and NOT ONE PERSON showed up. If everyone would have RSVP'd that they werent coming and I KNEW no one was coming, that would be disappointing, but it would not piss me off.

The problem is that some people RSVP'd that they were DEFINITELY coming and did not show up. In all, I was EXPECTING 6 people (7 including me)....and of course there were some who said "MAYBE." So I planned for 20 just in case (knowing that many "maybes" would not show up, I just wanted to make sure I had plenty in case some "maybes" did come). I am not remotely pissed at anyone who said maybe cause maybe means just that, maybe.  But when people RSVP that they are DEFINITELY coming, then dont bother to let me know that they cant make it, and dont show up, that is RUDE as hell. I spent a shitload of money on food, a xtra cooler, drinks, cornhole, and lighting for the yard for NOTHING.

Naturally I made the most of all the food and fun stuff I had set up. My brother and I played the brand new cornhole game I got just for the reunion. My brother, dad, my godfather and I all grilled out, drank beer out in the yard illuminated by the new bambo oil burning yard lights I got, just for the reunion, etc. I still managed to have fun. But that is not the point.

I cant freakin believe people couldnt send a simple freakin email or make a quick call to tell me they couldnt make it.

DEAREST NCL,
I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to you, for saying i was going to be there and then not showing up at all.
I am very very sorry!
It is no excuse that it slipped my mind.
Something bad happened to me on aug. 6th, and b/c of what happened i really haven't talked with anyone at all outside my own camp. I was physically assaulted at my place of employment by my boss, and from there everything for me has been a depressed hell.
I had to do a lot of running around securing witnesses, got to the police station and file charges on her. All the while the employer is also fighting me on unemployment benefits as well, and they still are. Being re-traumatized again did not help out either b/c my panic attacks started coming back b/c of this, and they have not been present for me now for about 2/3 yrs. This is all a shame what happened to me but whatever. I should've called or emailed ...ye are right, and I am sooooooooooooo sorry. I really feel worse knowing that I fucked it up with you. I was sooooooo looking forward to hanging out with you too...when I realized I had forgotten to be there it was the next morning, aka; too late. I was pissed off too!
I was angry with myself for forgetting, and for letting you down.
I am soooooooo sorry. I feel like I cannot say it enough to you right now.
I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL!

I hope ye find it in your heart to please forgive me.
warm regards,
-DP

[Nonconformistlaw]

Disappointment? I've been debating posting about this cause disappointment doesnt quite describe how I feel. Pissed off is more like it. You can also add insulted and embarrassed to the list too. And believe me, it is not easy to piss me off cause I am pretty damn easy going.

August 11, 2007 was to be the first Cincinnati/Michigan Reunion. For those of you who were genuninely interested but things came up, or you couldnt make it for whatever reason, I am not mad at any of you. Life happens and I am completely cool with that. Many people backed out and told me about it, and that is cool. But I will NEVER plan one again. Why?

I invested a lot of time and money and NOT ONE PERSON showed up. If everyone would have RSVP'd that they werent coming and I KNEW no one was coming, that would be disappointing, but it would not piss me off.

The problem is that some people RSVP'd that they were DEFINITELY coming and did not show up. In all, I was EXPECTING 6 people (7 including me)....and of course there were some who said "MAYBE." So I planned for 20 just in case (knowing that many "maybes" would not show up, I just wanted to make sure I had plenty in case some "maybes" did come). I am not remotely pissed at anyone who said maybe cause maybe means just that, maybe.  But when people RSVP that they are DEFINITELY coming, then dont bother to let me know that they cant make it, and dont show up, that is RUDE as hell. I spent a shitload of money on food, a xtra cooler, drinks, cornhole, and lighting for the yard for NOTHING.

Naturally I made the most of all the food and fun stuff I had set up. My brother and I played the brand new cornhole game I got just for the reunion. My brother, dad, my godfather and I all grilled out, drank beer out in the yard illuminated by the new bambo oil burning yard lights I got, just for the reunion, etc. I still managed to have fun. But that is not the point.

I cant freakin believe people couldnt send a simple freakin email or make a quick call to tell me they couldnt make it.

DEAREST NCL,
I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to you, for saying i was going to be there and then not showing up at all.
I am very very sorry!
It is no excuse that it slipped my mind.
Something bad happened to me on aug. 6th, and b/c of what happened i really haven't talked with anyone at all outside my own camp. I was physically assaulted at my place of employment by my boss, and from there everything for me has been a depressed hell.
I had to do a lot of running around securing witnesses, got to the police station and file charges on her. All the while the employer is also fighting me on unemployment benefits as well, and they still are. Being re-traumatized again did not help out either b/c my panic attacks started coming back b/c of this, and they have not been present for me now for about 2/3 yrs. This is all a shame what happened to me but whatever. I should've called or emailed ...ye are right, and I am sooooooooooooo sorry. I really feel worse knowing that I fucked it up with you. I was sooooooo looking forward to hanging out with you too...when I realized I had forgotten to be there it was the next morning, aka; too late. I was pissed off too!
I was angry with myself for forgetting, and for letting you down.
I am soooooooo sorry. I feel like I cannot say it enough to you right now.
I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL! I am so sorry NCL!

I hope ye find it in your heart to please forgive me.
warm regards,
-DP

Of course I forgive ya! Thanks for filling me in on what happened. Another person also apologized and I am pretty much "over it" now. But damn I am so sorry to hear so much bad stuff is going on... that is horrible! I hope you have, or plan on getting a good lawyer. If you need a name give me a call. But  back to "social stuff", at least we live close enough that we could hang out some time. Let me know if you wanna hang out...I still have cornhole, those outdoor lights and stuff.