How everything goes in a full circle amazes me.I was looking at my life and how it's going now,how worse it could be,and how so much more was expected of me by myself and others two and three decades ago.This´posting will be full of cliches and quotes and for those I appall with these,please forgive me because I want to communicate as much of my thoughts as possible without dealing with the emotions.This I will do when I'm ready,which is not now.I think I lot of Jesse Ventura's character in "Predator","I don't have time to bleed!".I far from a tough guy,but whenever I think of Str8,how many times a day I really can't count because they're meshed in with so many other memories prior and afterward,I compensate and repress by just keeping busy.Sleeping on the floor is not even a problem for me,sometimes a mattress is.See how it's always with me.That is far from normal and only one of us can understand why.I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here and hopefully long enough to be a strong(?),supportive figure for all three of my kids,especially my one year old,whose birth totally changed my priorities,maybe for the good.Karma does exist and hopefully in the end I find myself in the right place.Woof,for some reason,we were meant to endure this.I don't feel bitterness towards the staff as they,too,were tormented on the way before asking "What's the first and most important rule?".Nobody has endured more pain than Dave Crock,you'll have to trust me on that.Whatever becomes of me I think that I've paid enough of a price in the Rahall,Milton Roy,and Morgan Yacht building to throw off the yoke of unrealistic expectations placed on me by those who still think that Str8 saved my life.My only job now is care for my family and enjoy more good days than bad.That may not be enough for everybody else,but I'm fine with that.
