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Author Topic: Intimacy and dissociation  (Read 8786 times)

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Offline Nihilanthic

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #45 on: January 15, 2007, 04:24:27 PM »
This was a fantasy for someone, after all...  :(

Now, if I wanted to make a point and make something along the lines of a psychological horror story about what a program is like, well, I guess I know who to critique it.

Ugh... I sure would like something positive today. At least I got a chuckle out of that story!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #46 on: January 15, 2007, 09:06:26 PM »
Quote from: ""try another castle""
Questions for survivors: Do any of you experience dissociation during moments of intimacy? (Sex, kissing, etc.)

Not like I got a whole lot of action before CEDU, but what little making out I did, the experience was quite different than after I got out. When I kissed people before, I felt "all there."

I slept with a woman less than six months after graduating, and I was really into her. When we first kissed, I was really turned on... up until the point when we kissed. Then it was like a piece of my brain broke off and decided to go somewhere else. Same thing when we had sex. It was as if there was a part of me that wasn't there. It was frustrating as hell, because I really wanted her, it's just that not all of my brain seemed to want to cooperate. I figured maybe it was an isolated incident.

But that pretty much happens with any kind of sexual thing with me. Dissociation. Part of me is gone. Even though I will try to make myself fully present. I think probably the only time it's minimal is when I'm blowing a guy, and that might be because I am the one in control. (However, it can and does happen then, too.) When it comes to kissing and sex... yeah... off in another world. Not by choice, either.

When I'm with trade, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, it's trade, after all. But in a relationship, it can really suck.

Besides, it WOULD be nice to get off with another person, once in a while.


Anyone here have similar problems?


Yes.

In fact the last 3 women I dated commented on it when I was kissing them for the first time.  I wanted to kiss them badly.  I was very turned on by them.  But as soon as the kiss started a strange feeling swept over me.

Disconnect would be the best way to describe it.

Thanks RMA!
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Offline Antigen

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #47 on: January 15, 2007, 10:55:24 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
It's a truism in the psychological community and the rape survivor community, for damned good reason, that rape victims don't recover without treatment---the trauma just gets shoved below the surface and festers.


Unless the dumb pricks fail to push your buttons and there's one decent human being around to show a little sympathy and concern.
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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline egypt has pyramids

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #48 on: January 17, 2007, 06:46:03 AM »
So who got laid while in a program?
What sucks so much about SCL was that the boys and girls were completely seperated, we didn't even get to look at each other. The program I was in before that was also just for boys, even though it was a lot more open than a wwasps program. But during my stays at two other kinds of programs, we all intermingled, and I think it made it a lot more easy.
At SCL the sexual environment was non existant. Jerking it was a punishable offense and we all slept in an open room with a dude sitting in the middle no further than 10 feet at all times from us while we slept. So the only time to mess around really was in the shower, and those were timed... if you were lucky you got 4 minutes. A friend of mine had managed to tear out a small wallet sized picture of some girl from a magazine somewhere, and he hid it in his stuff. That was a big deal, he would show it around at night like it was something special, but I guess it was at the time.
Psych hospitals were a whole other deal. Girls galore, after lights out it we had so much fun sneaking around to each others rooms.  :oops:
Good times.
Well.. not at SCL or the other programs that keep the sexes apart.. that shit sucks.
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f everybody looked the same we\'d get tired of looking at each other

Offline try another castle

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #49 on: January 17, 2007, 06:51:55 AM »
At least at CEDU we were given the luxury of beating off. Just thumbtack that blanket around your bunk bed and whack it. That, and the sexes were integrated. Not like that interested me at the time...

Although, lord, were we made to feel bad about sex.
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Offline egypt has pyramids

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #50 on: January 17, 2007, 06:53:19 AM »
Quote from: ""try another castle""
.

Although, lord, were we made to feel bad about sex.


 :o

Thats crazy.. was that a part of the seminars/workshops things? Luckily 'sex' was never an issue of mine and it never came up and isnt really a part of my whole program experience.. god man, thats fucked up!
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f everybody looked the same we\'d get tired of looking at each other

Offline try another castle

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #51 on: January 17, 2007, 06:58:19 AM »
Oh, sure. Pretty girls would be accused of being sluts and whores in raps, and of course, sex was forbidden. I was a particularly large target because of my fagginess, especially since I had such a big mouth about it when I got there. Good lord, did Caroline tear me a new one about that.
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Offline egypt has pyramids

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #52 on: January 17, 2007, 07:02:51 AM »
I remember during the first seminar I went to there was a brother and sister. They finally started admitting to incest and for some reason this was a good thing and they were the most popular kids in the whole seminar... yeah, they gave themselves completely to the facilitator and parents. Because fuck, they ripped them UP hardcorde! I hope they were lying but I don't think they were. Yeah I noticed when girls admitted to sex stuff they rubbed that in their faces too. How parents can think this shit helps is beyond me. WAY beyond me. Were there ever parents at your guys workshops? THere were a dozen parents present at our seminars staffing them. Ignorant my ass.
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f everybody looked the same we\'d get tired of looking at each other

Offline try another castle

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #53 on: January 17, 2007, 07:16:16 AM »
They had watered down workshops that the parents went through. I think my mom told me briefly about one. They only had two or three. It was like comparing being decapitated to stubbing your toe.
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Offline Antigen

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #54 on: January 17, 2007, 07:56:17 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
only question is...what is the connection between the authorites and TLC that encourage this coroner to engage in, essentially, a cover up-?


Here's a fairly good explanation right here...

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p=239793#239793

In a nutshell, it's a movement or religion; ya might even call TOUGHLOVE! a hate group. Ya might... never know.
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Offline psy

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Re: Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #55 on: September 16, 2008, 04:21:33 PM »
bump
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