Touching down in Bangkok was an eye opening experience for a novice traveler such as myself. I had previously experienced the delights of China for a mere eleven days, but that in no way prepared me for the sheer overwhelming feeling of being dropped into a far away land. With only my Lonely Planet guide to keep me going along in a semi-confused state I managed to get scammed by a taxi driver as soon as I walked out the exit of the Airport.
Upon taking a fiscal beating by the cheerful little gnome that drove his taxi like a man bent on breaking the speed barrier I was booted out to the kerb no more than a stone throw from the Bangkok's backpackers haven known as Khan Sao Road. During my death ride to hell or heaven depending on your philosphocial bent I managed to peak at my Lonely Planet's guide and found out the going rate for a cab fare. I was not amused.
The cabbie asked me, "Can I have Tip?" Not only did the little crook ask me for a tip after he scammed me out of three times the going taxi fare from the Airport to Khan Sao Road he did it with a straight face. If I had tried that I would be laughing so hard my taxi would end up wrapped around a telephone pole.
I replied, "Let's pretend the tip was part of the 1000 baht you chiseled out of me for the ride." With that I shouldered my bag and made my way to the ultra swanky Chada Guest House. I decided not to take any pictures of my lovely accomodations due to the stunning fact that my camera was left behind in North America. Also I feel it imperative to protect the readers from such a sight as I first witnessed. You think they would have done a better job of hiding the rubbish left by the Canadian defilers and all, but I suppose cleaning up the remains would clash with the over all theme of Khan Sao Road that I will label loosely as 'The Arsehole of the Entire Universe'.
*Chada Guest House... don't look under the beds.
Touts, people whose livelyhoods that depend on scamming unwitting tourists like me, flock Khan Sao Road like flies on a corpse. Just going out the front door of my Guest House invited at least 3 different offers for a ride in a taxi, 6 different offers for a ride in a tuk tuk, and 98 different lady boys offering to give a short time for best possible prices. The entire strip that makes up the Arsehole of the Universe consists of bars, taxis, guest houses, drunk tourists, prostitutes, and other vendors of all sorts.
*Arsehole of the entire universe.
Not only could I have gotten a tattoo I could have gotten my hair braided into corn rows at the same time. Getting a Thai massage might have set me back 180 baht, 6 or so dollars, for an entire hour and half. Once you've been beaten black and blue by a blind Thai man or woman you can sample the delights of one of nearly three trillion food vendors that sprout up as the day grows older. While Khao San Road has little to offer for a person like myself who was looking for some peace and quiet it does appear to appeal to the younger back packing crowd.
Part of my dislike is the noise as demonstrated in the below clip:
Watching young backpackers guzzling down copious quantities of cheap bucket liqour can only be rivaled by actually swilling back some of the foul contents of the 'bucket'. The dodgier of the vendors seek to evade the Thai closing hours laws will serve out bucket sized drinks for about 3 to 4 dollars. Upon consuming one of these buckets that the author, myself, staggered back to his guesthouse and passed out for the rest of the night. It didn't take more than a few hours for my intense dislike of Khao San Road to develop, but in fairness my growing fondness for the rest of the city quickly developed.
Once you've moved away from the Arsehole of the Universe you have a variety of options to choose from. I suggest going a few blocks over in any direction and seeking out a guest house in a quiet back alley. I was wandering about in such an alley and not only did I stumble across several book stores, a leather working shop, traditional massage center, and a Muay Thai Kick Boxing School. The streets are cleaner, the touts are less aggressive, and the atmosphere is far more relaxed. My next journey through Bangkok will more than likely avoid Khan Sao Road all together in favor of one of the quieter more sedate venues.
*Leather Working store
*Two of the best cooks in the world.
*One of the less annoying vendors
*Muay Thai Boxing Center
*Traditional Massage Therapy Center
