Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry

How Do Survivors Feel About Their Parents?

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Antigen:
Anon, you sound desperate. I get that. At least intellectually, I understood that pretty well back when I was the 15 year old in question. Now that I'm the mother and my kid is 19, I understand it from a first-hand point of view in full, vibrant and living color.

But, in your panic, you're overlooking a couple of very important things. First, WWASP (with the support of PDFA ads and other propaganda organizations) tells you that neither you nor your kid is capable of dealing with your problems. They don't know that and neither do you. Second, they tell you they can help. But the best evidence they can muster to prove their succes is to order parents and kids to write thank you notes as part of their 'therapy' and then to turn around and use those writings in their PR campaigns.

How do you "learn to be a family" by severing all contact and communications with your family? How do you know Dad didn't hit the kid? It wouldn't be the first nor the last time an adult has kept a kid quiet through intimidation and character assasination. Ask anyone who's ever been diddled by a priest.

WWASP has drawn a line in the sand and instructed you to stand on the opposite side of it from your child. What If he didn't get better on his own? Then, when he's ready, he would have turned to the people he trusts. If you stick with the WWASP program, that's not going to be you. Sorry.

What if, like so many others, WWASP leaves him worse off than he was to begin with? Who does he turn to then? He can't even talk to you about it because you won't believe him. You'll just call it lying manipulation and have him sent back to his abusers.

Can't you see how you're being scammed here?

Legalizing drugs would simultaneously reduce the amount of crime and raise the quality of law enforcement. Can you conceive of any other measure that would accomplish so much to promote law and order?  
--Economist Milton Friedman
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anon:
[ This Message was edited by: KarenZ on 2003-10-18 12:54 ]

Carey:

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2003-09-06 08:35:00, KarenZ wrote:


I do however believe that *IF* they were what they claim to be - they could be.

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Well sure. And if there really were a little pill that you could take to make crazy people sane, shy people gregarious and ugly people good looking--all without any unwanted side effects--it would be a wonderful thing. The trouble is that such a thing is not possible. Neither is what the Program promises or how they go about trying to accomplish their goal.

Despite anyone's fond wishes to the contrary, there is only one way to make a person change against their will. First, you have to break their will.


--- Quote ---
Back to the kid's point of view - Do you not think a teen who is trashing their quality of life and breaking even their own basic standards of decency, might feel unloved and even abandoned, if the parents just leave them to flounder?

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Either use force and coercion or do nothing?That's a false imperative, Karen. I just told ya'll what I've done w/ my kid and it's working out just as well as it did for my grandmother and her wild brood of reckless Paddys.

You have to understand that growing up is something we each have to do for ourselves. No matter what your kid gets into, never entertain the idea that they can't or won't come around. Never stop being there for them, no matter how hard they try to piss you off. Never forget that they're the kid, you're the adult and, like it or not, your primary job is to never panic. It is not your job to retain control of your kid or their behavior, to know all their secrets and make sure they never make a serious mistake. It's your job to be there for them when they need you. Don't worry about their taking advantage. For about the last 20 years of your life, if you've done it right, they'll be paying you back in spades.

You can make suggestions instead of demands. You can give your best advice and leave it to them whether to follow it or not, even when you know that not following your advice will bring them great sorrow. If/when they come around to the same conclusion (sometimes you'll find they were right and you were dead wrong or you'll just have to agree to disagree), try not to be too smug and castigating about it.


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So, back to the truly out of control teen; What kind of intervention can you see making a difference?

What would a good, respectful, safe and effictive program look like?"

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Honestly, I can't imagine and haven't found a program that can fix a kid who doesn't think they're broken. That's what families are for. You can no more hire someone to fill that role than you can hire someone to be your kid's friend. Well... technically, you can hire a "friend", but it's illegal in all states except Nevada, I think.

Bear in mind that the world is really not more dangerous now than any other time and kids ta' day are coming into the world substantially the same as kids in any other day. If you have trouble believing that, I suggest you take a part-time job as a bartender at the VFW and just get a load of some of the stories those old farts have to tell. You'll be glad your kids didn't have to come up through the depression, WWII, Korea and all the rest.

Anonymous:
Where does WWASP promise anything?  I keep reading promise, guarantees, etc., that's BS and have never read that anywhere.  If you think paying for a human service is a guarantee of success, get real, you'll be very disappointed. I have read OTHER programs promising amazing results...

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