Yep, that's the article! He seemed old-school TC to me too; after some googling, I also found that article shortly after
THIS post in the '
Why spend a year in a program when it can be done in a week' thread, but never got around to posting it...
But ... ya missed some of the good parts, Sekto! There's loads more kool-aid to diligently peruse, both before and after your quote of choice!
So here's that article, in its entirety:
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New York Daily NewsThe 'bad kid' fixerA behavior specialist says he knows why youngsters act upBY Lisa Chase
Saturday, May 19th 2007, 4:00 AM
Behavioral specialist James Lehman teaches parents what not to do when their kids act out.If you've heard the radio commercials, you will have marveled at James Lehman's confidence in his ability to transform your trouble-making child or teen and dramatically improve your family dynamic.
Then you may have wondered: "He has never seen my child explode into a tantrum fit or hit peers at school or punch a hole in the wall! How can he be so sure he can fix our situation?"
Actually, the solution sounds rather simple. "Empower the parents, not the children," says Bronx native Lehman, creator of the Total Transformation (
www.thetotaltransformation.com). "Some of these kids have so much control in a family, it's awful for everyone - the parents and siblings are traumatized!"
The program, which costs $295, consists of a packet of seven DVDs and a workbook and typically takes eight weeks to complete, although it can be done in one. A 12-hours-a-day parental support hotline is also available. "You can call when your kid is lying on the floor kicking and screaming, and our specialists will tell you what to do right now," says Lehman.
James LehmanSo who is this child whisperer? Abandoned by his parents at the age of 2, Lehman was adopted by a couple who were the supers in his building. "I grew up with a detachment disorder, demonstrating bad behavior because it was the only way I felt safe and in control. I started running away and eventually wound up in jail for burglaries and drugs."
It was at an institution called Daytop Village that Lehman learned to be responsible for his actions. "They put us to work," Lehman recalls. "And when I left, I got my degree from Fordham University, finished my master's in Maine, and opened up my own practice as a cognitive behavioral therapist.
"Most families I see don't need therapy, just education to show their kids accountability and how to deal with their problems."
WHAT NOT TO DOThe Total Transformation gives parents 27 tools and techniques to manage situations and describes behavior in terms different from what parents may be used to hearing, such as how manipulative and controlling it is.
Here's how the program works: the first week entails identifying behavior and managing it (i.e., walking into another room when the child starts up with, "Why not? Why not?") Then Lehman addresses seven ineffective parenting styles such as the proverbial "Savior," the parent who fights with the schools because they want to hold their child responsible for their actions. This says to the child, "My parents love me when I misbehave."
The most crucial element comes next: teaching your kids problem-solving skills and setting limits, while recognizing "thinking errors," such as believing if you let your teenager stay out late once, you have to do it all the time. Setting goals with your children is the final stage - and Lehman doesn't mean, "You're going to college." Instead, he helps parents establish and enforce, "You're going to make your bed by 8 a.m." Even if you have one of those teens who won't talk to you - he has solutions for that as well.
"My daughter had a huge fight with my husband two years ago and pretty much stopped talking to him. With her, everything was an argument - it was volcanic, and it affected the whole family," Elise from Hawthorne, N.J., testifies. "The Total Transformation solved that and I'm more of a solid, grounded parent to her, rather than someone who's wringing their hands and doesn't know what to do."
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