Please read this
http://fornits.com/anonanon/sidetalk/messages/22.htmI can't find the version that includes some vital details that I left out of this one (consciously or not) I don't know when I wrote it. I guess it took me awhile to come to terms with the whole truth. But here it is.
You want to know what it took for me to see the obvious? I had just finished lecturing Bobby in perfect program parlance and cadence about his defiance and pleading with him to quit fighting and start getting straight before I gave the rote reassurance "Luv ya, Bobby!" and sat down to pay attention to the person talking. The next girl that staff called on to confront him was his sister. When she started talking, for the first time in perhaps a day or more I saw some animation in Bobby's eyes. He and Cathy were standing no more than 10 feet apart and he was searching the room for the source of that familiar voice in just the way a new born baby will anxiously search for the source of his mother's voice. That poor kid was not being defiant. He wasn't able to comply or even understand what it was that we required of him to make the torture stop. That boy was catatonic!
You get that? I and all the other unfortunate strangers trapped in that nightmare did that to him. And, as I say, there was nothing unusual about what we did to him. It was SOP in the program. Know what that means? It means that, all good intentions aside, we all took part except a rare few who never, ever complied. Even they were used against their will to traumatize the rest of us.
We truly are all in this together. And we must all hang together or we shall most assuredly hang separately. Blame the game, not the player.
