My Review of Over the GW

[Rachael]

I have to say, the movie was actually quite watered down in my opinion, and the director mentioned that it was intentional as well. It seems he didn't think it was believable enough if he was too graphic in its depictions of what happened in KIDS. I have to say that I think I agree.

Anyway, even watered down, I found it very difficult to watch. I went through "Kids of the Canadian West" which is a bit different from how Kids of Bergen County was. But it still really, really affected me. When I was in the place I was in, I used to scratch at my arms and legs until they bled - I couldn't help it. I hadn't done that since I got out almost 5 years ago, but while watching the film I started doing it without even being aware of it. When I got out of the theatre my fingernails were all bloody.

Since then (actually a bit before then I guess), I've been a lot more fragile then I've been in a very long time. It blows me away how so much time can pass and yet when it comes back to me like this, it's like I'm right back there. It's like it's still all happening to me right now. Nevermind that I am a completely different person: stronger, happy with who I am and where I am, and in a safe place... In a second I'm right back there - helpless, scared shitless and completely bewildered.


Rachael

[Anonymous]

Makes you wonder when programs designed to break kids do this do they realize how much more difficult it is to try and put all the pieces back together.

[Anonymous]

its been 20 years for me...what happened was trama and we now have triggers..anniversaries...movies...parents...whatever...it happened and now it is just another thing to manage...i have never told anyone i was in straight and what went on there b/c i think it really does sound so unbelievalbe...however the knowledge here and the willingness to write and post links and get the information out is wonderful...thanks so much to all who post here...

[Anonymous]

Does anyone have a schedule of citys this is going to be played.  
Although the trailer alone was very disturbing.  

[Froderik]

I went through "Kids of the Canadian West"

Pardon my ignorance, but what was this program?

So it was an offshoot of KIDS in Canada?

[Anonymous]

I have to say, the movie was actually quite watered down in my opinion, and the director mentioned that it was intentional as well. It seems he didn't think it was believable enough if he was too graphic in its depictions of what happened in KIDS. I have to say that I think I agree.

Anyway, even watered down, I found it very difficult to watch. I went through "Kids of the Canadian West" which is a bit different from how Kids of Bergen County was. But it still really, really affected me. When I was in the place I was in, I used to scratch at my arms and legs until they bled - I couldn't help it. I hadn't done that since I got out almost 5 years ago, but while watching the film I started doing it without even being aware of it. When I got out of the theatre my fingernails were all bloody.

Since then (actually a bit before then I guess), I've been a lot more fragile then I've been in a very long time. It blows me away how so much time can pass and yet when it comes back to me like this, it's like I'm right back there. It's like it's still all happening to me right now. Nevermind that I am a completely different person: stronger, happy with who I am and where I am, and in a safe place... In a second I'm right back there - helpless, scared shitless and completely bewildered.


Rachael

Less talk about YOU please,and more talk about the movie.

[psy]

I have to say, the movie was actually quite watered down in my opinion, and the director mentioned that it was intentional as well. It seems he didn't think it was believable enough if he was too graphic in its depictions of what happened in KIDS. I have to say that I think I agree.

Anyway, even watered down, I found it very difficult to watch. I went through "Kids of the Canadian West" which is a bit different from how Kids of Bergen County was. But it still really, really affected me. When I was in the place I was in, I used to scratch at my arms and legs until they bled - I couldn't help it. I hadn't done that since I got out almost 5 years ago, but while watching the film I started doing it without even being aware of it. When I got out of the theatre my fingernails were all bloody.

Since then (actually a bit before then I guess), I've been a lot more fragile then I've been in a very long time. It blows me away how so much time can pass and yet when it comes back to me like this, it's like I'm right back there. It's like it's still all happening to me right now. Nevermind that I am a completely different person: stronger, happy with who I am and where I am, and in a safe place... In a second I'm right back there - helpless, scared shitless and completely bewildered.


Rachael

Less talk about YOU please,and more talk about the movie.

If that's a reference to raps... ha ha.  otherwise... That's quite fucked up to say.  She traveled from west Canada to see the film.  Where were you?  It takes courage to speak out about how it affected you.  It's easier to give a bland, blow by blow, categorized, review of the movie.  Perhaps I'm guilty of that myself, but I did talk at length with Rachael in person about it.  I was sitting next to her in the theater, and saw how unsettled she was.  I saw how she was sitting and her fingers arching on her legs, but didn't realize she was digging into them until later.  I think everybody there who was in a program found it difficult.  It was very unsettling for me.  It's hard to describe a movie like that and remain detached.  I can't even imagine what it would be like if there was a CEDU movie, complete with profeets...  i'm not sure I would be able to sit through it.

The worst for me:
 - the "dirt lists" scene in the car.
 - seeing nick and his sister pit against each other.
 - the scene when nick is explaining to his mother how he needs the place... i remember doing that.
 - the feeling of hopelessness.  losing the will to resist, realizing the only way out is to submit.  it's draining.
 - the false accusations.. getting knocked back for no reason...

[Rachael]

I went through "Kids of the Canadian West"

Pardon my ignorance, but what was this program?

So it was an offshoot of KIDS in Canada?

Indeed, originally it was opened under the name "Kids of the Canadian West" but following the closing of the last Kids institution in the States, they changed their name to AARC. Director by the name of Dean Vause studied at Kids of Bergen County between 91 and 93. He bought himself an online degree from the same Union Institute as Miller Newton. The place was opened by Vause and a group of KIDS parents from Calgary. They market themselves as the "kinder, gentler" version of KIDS, but it's mostly identical to KIDS -- open meetings, raps, oldcomers/newcomers, host homes. We told incidents and "related" in raps, justified and manipulated and rationalized till we felt powerless enough to earn our step one (even if they had to force you to "hit bottom" by restricting food, keeping you up all night or outright assaulting you). Still the same program and still open.


Rachael

[Anonymous]

I have to say, the movie was actually quite watered down in my opinion, and the director mentioned that it was intentional as well. It seems he didn't think it was believable enough if he was too graphic in its depictions of what happened in KIDS. I have to say that I think I agree.

Anyway, even watered down, I found it very difficult to watch. I went through "Kids of the Canadian West" which is a bit different from how Kids of Bergen County was. But it still really, really affected me. When I was in the place I was in, I used to scratch at my arms and legs until they bled - I couldn't help it. I hadn't done that since I got out almost 5 years ago, but while watching the film I started doing it without even being aware of it. When I got out of the theatre my fingernails were all bloody.

Since then (actually a bit before then I guess), I've been a lot more fragile then I've been in a very long time. It blows me away how so much time can pass and yet when it comes back to me like this, it's like I'm right back there. It's like it's still all happening to me right now. Nevermind that I am a completely different person: stronger, happy with who I am and where I am, and in a safe place... In a second I'm right back there - helpless, scared shitless and completely bewildered.


Rachael

Less talk about YOU please,and more talk about the movie.

If that's a reference to raps... ha ha.  otherwise... That's quite fucked up to say.

...and this is the apropriate place to say "fucked up things".

The title of the thread is "My review of Over The GW",not "My review of myself".

[Anonymous]

I have to say, the movie was actually quite watered down in my opinion, and the director mentioned that it was intentional as well. It seems he didn't think it was believable enough if he was too graphic in its depictions of what happened in KIDS. I have to say that I think I agree.

Anyway, even watered down, I found it very difficult to watch. I went through "Kids of the Canadian West" which is a bit different from how Kids of Bergen County was. But it still really, really affected me. When I was in the place I was in, I used to scratch at my arms and legs until they bled - I couldn't help it. I hadn't done that since I got out almost 5 years ago, but while watching the film I started doing it without even being aware of it. When I got out of the theatre my fingernails were all bloody.

Since then (actually a bit before then I guess), I've been a lot more fragile then I've been in a very long time. It blows me away how so much time can pass and yet when it comes back to me like this, it's like I'm right back there. It's like it's still all happening to me right now. Nevermind that I am a completely different person: stronger, happy with who I am and where I am, and in a safe place... In a second I'm right back there - helpless, scared shitless and completely bewildered.


Rachael

Less talk about YOU please,and more talk about the movie.

If that's a reference to raps... ha ha.  otherwise... That's quite fucked up to say.

...and this is the apropriate place to say "fucked up things".

The title of the thread is "My review of Over The GW",not "My review of myself".

[hanzomon4]

Move on Guest....

No reason for you to stick around if you want to be so negative, especially considering the fact that you didn't get yourself to New York to view the film yourself.

[psy]

I have to say, the movie was actually quite watered down in my opinion, and the director mentioned that it was intentional as well. It seems he didn't think it was believable enough if he was too graphic in its depictions of what happened in KIDS. I have to say that I think I agree.

Anyway, even watered down, I found it very difficult to watch. I went through "Kids of the Canadian West" which is a bit different from how Kids of Bergen County was. But it still really, really affected me. When I was in the place I was in, I used to scratch at my arms and legs until they bled - I couldn't help it. I hadn't done that since I got out almost 5 years ago, but while watching the film I started doing it without even being aware of it. When I got out of the theatre my fingernails were all bloody.

Since then (actually a bit before then I guess), I've been a lot more fragile then I've been in a very long time. It blows me away how so much time can pass and yet when it comes back to me like this, it's like I'm right back there. It's like it's still all happening to me right now. Nevermind that I am a completely different person: stronger, happy with who I am and where I am, and in a safe place... In a second I'm right back there - helpless, scared shitless and completely bewildered.


Rachael

Less talk about YOU please,and more talk about the movie.

If that's a reference to raps... ha ha.  otherwise... That's quite fucked up to say.

...and this is the apropriate place to say "fucked up things".

The title of the thread is "My review of Over The GW",not "My review of myself".

"All in all, the creative act is not performed by the artist alone; the spectator brings the work in contact with the external world by deciphering and interpreting its inner qualifications and thus adds his contribution to the creative act." - Marcel Duchamp

[Anonymous]

Move on Guest....

No reason for you to stick around if you want to be so negative, especially considering the fact that you didn't get yourself to New York to view the film yourself.

But...I was in New York to view the film.

[psy]

Move on Guest....

No reason for you to stick around if you want to be so negative, especially considering the fact that you didn't get yourself to New York to view the film yourself.

But...I was in New York to view the film.

So what is your problem with Rachael's review?  Her review is based on her point of reference, her experience.  I think Nick intended the movie for a larger audience than just KIDS survivors.  If you truly were there, and weren't asleep during the questions, you would know that.  Apart from details, the main elements (confrontation, confession, reporting, etc...) are present in every single program I can think of.  Any survivor can relate to what went on...  What is wrong with talking about it?  You don't own a monopoly on the interpretation of a piece of art.  A review is a reflection of the piece of art off the viewer.  You think her perspective... her reaction is unique?  How did you feel?  Would you care to have the courage to elaborate publicly, "Guest"?

Howabout you belittle what she went through?  Howabout you doubt me?  Howabout you hang yourself on a fucking cross?

Ya know.. I'm really starting to like Serrano

[Oz girl]

In fact for people like me who are outsiders tying to speak with as many who went through this system as possible and who have not yet had the opportunity to see the film, reviews like rachaels are useful because they give a perspective. So pull your head in and stop being an ass