worst thing?

[Anonymous]

Waht is the worst thing you did as a child?

[Oz girl]

When I was in the 3rd grade I was given a homework assignment. It was a piece of paper with clouds drawn on it. In each cloud I was supposed to write one thing that was special about me and decorate it accordingly so that it was hung up in the classrooom. This was the 80s and in a desperate bid to market the idea that Catholic school was no longer about sodomy and beatings by fierce Nuns my school had really embraced the self esteem movement. This meant that the kid who still wet their pants in public at 8 was “unique” or the school yard bully had some “interpersonal problems” but I digress.
My mother had miscarried the child before me and I was often referred to as her miracle baby. I took to being a miracle child with quite some gusto. The previous Christmas had involved a vintage family feud involving my dour and patrician paternal Grandmother and Crazy Aunt Phyllis. Crazy Aunt Phillys had spent 70 years bringing the family into disrepute. She mad married an American GI during the war who had made off with her glory box linen and in a bid to overcome the heartbreak became a nightclub singer and an alcoholic. Anyway something that Christmas set Grandmother off and in disgust she revealed to the entire extended family the previously dark secret of Aunt Phyllis. That in the 40s she had an illegal backyard Abortion. A delicious chaos ensued and all children were hussled off for dessert early. As I asked my mother what an Abortion was she said cheerily “want some more icecream darling”?.
Eventually the dust settled and I asked my big sister the same question. She muttered something about it being like a miscarriage. I got the idea that the two words were interchangable. So I wrote “I am special cause I am a miracle baby. My mum had an abortion and then 9 months later had me” i cant remember if i actually illustrated it with a drawing of a dead baby. Some kind of conference with my mortified mum was called and they cut that cloud off my assignment before hanging it.  It was not till years later I realised what all the drama was.

[Ursus]

::roflmao::   What an exquisite slice of life!

[Antigen]

Blew across a coke bottle in the back seat while Crazy Mac was trying to navigate a busy small town circle. The devil made me do it!

[Truth Searcher]

One crisp fall, the neighborhood kids and I decided to smear rotted pumpkins on a neighbors windows.  These neighbors never had kids and were very, Very, VERY persnickety about their house.  Their lawn put most golf courses to shame.  So of course, we made this couple our intended target.

We did a number to be sure.  We also got busted.  A neighbor kid ratted us out.   Ya know kids will be kids.

When we realized that we were in some deep hot water, we all conspired to blame it on my younger, innocent brother.  I remember his screaming the whole way to his awaiting whipping "I didn't do it.  I wasn't even there".  He got whipped with my dad's belt.  He was made to wash the windows.  And I never said a word.

I still feel terrible about that.  The story has become family lore.  We laugh about it every time we get together.  Our kids love to hear it retold.  But, there is a part of me that still cringes ....