Author Topic: Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon  (Read 265406 times)

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Offline wrathfulhoof1

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #240 on: May 16, 2005, 10:28:00 AM »
oh yea we had it easy, its so easy when children are raping other children, its so easy when children are taking 1x6 bed boards and beating other children, its so easy being 5 feet away from another child outside inour compound and all of a sudden he is bleeding all over the place cuz he got stabbed because he didnt want to give up his peanut butter sandwich to a bully.yes we at anchor had it soooooooo easy.yes im an angry man.who would be after experiencing these atrocities.staff memebers would take a kid out to town and he supposedly ran, when what really happens is he got thrown out of our van that we had on the side of the highway. yes we at anchor had the best treatment. im glad u clearified this for me.  thank you for showing me the light.there was a reason why we were at the end of the farm.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
too am alive and kickin after anchortraz

Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #241 on: May 16, 2005, 11:57:00 AM »
You know Eric for a sweet second I thought you where going to actualy show some mannors and present your self as being semi human. I guess not.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #242 on: May 16, 2005, 12:08:00 PM »
invalidation is what keeps the wound ripped. validation is the most healing balm to be found inside of community.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #243 on: May 16, 2005, 12:30:00 PM »
is there a wound that is IMPOSSIBLE to face??????

is there any thing to hard to heal????????

Healing comes thru words...words can heal or words can destroy.

""cant do anything now its too late, the damage is done and that is all I had""

spilled milk?

no, there is a way to heal. its never too late.
what is justice? My definition of justice is when the victim is made whole and restored. And the evildoers are brought to answer the Law.

Restored to the dignity of who they (survivors) are inside themself.

I would rather spend time in getting whole, and thereby being enabled to help others, than spend a life denying I am hurting.


Anchor sounds like a pit of hell and a dungeon made for satan to degrade young men, ...Eric has suffered, but also the others in there suffered too, rape of young men , violence....

this they condoned? how so they meet their maker?

pain cannot rest and heal until the justice is done. Heal, and help others.

The earliest survivors from early 1970's through the 1980's we carry the cross of not having been heard before. Had there been internet in our day, we could have spoken out. But the lack of ability to connect, the lack of joining together, made us powerless...made us voiceless....made us impotent to heal.

Had we the chance to be heard, maybe the Roloffs Systems of torture would not be around today. Its not too late to make a difference to care enough for someone besides ourself, to not sit there week upon week, wrapped up in our little selfish world..
but to begin to make that voice heard...

people say : "get over it" "get a life"....what in turdnation is that supposed to mean?

if you are a cripple cause of an accident 10 yers ago, you think it is a balanced thing to say to you , "Get over it!!" "Get a life" "Quit being a cripple!!""

sorry, i got to laugh...how absurb!!

emotional wounding is invisible, not like physical wounding, which the world does see, but emotional wounding is the very heart of passing on the curse to our kids...healing brings health ... validation brings healing...

you have to have eyes that see, and ears that hear the hurting to realize that they are wounded, ....

need to be validated, validation is vital to healing.
invalidation is the poison roloff would have you pour onto the survivors, invalidation is poison and lethal poison poured into the thoughts of those who were brainwashed to blame themself and not point a finger at "daddy roloff", who in the brainwashing of many of us, we were made to think of him as near to god himself...the man roloff was a little mean man,. nothing more.


one person alone cannot do the change and task needed to make sure the boys in the New Anchor home in Montana was it? to help ensure they are not being raped, and violence is not being done to them in the name of thier Creator....

links--chains--the first generation of survivors , all of us together can make it change.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #244 on: May 16, 2005, 12:38:00 PM »
She is right I got welcomed in that site with
A big fuck off stamped on my forhead by Eric to.
And then when I defended my self the girls took his side. Really hurt my feelings because it took me alot of years to finally reach out- I had no one who had understood or had been there and knew how i felt.i thought i had found a commen thread with some people who  did understand. Not true they swept the floor with me
Some not all re-phrase that sorry, It is like a click in there and if you do not get the eric approval stamp you get stomped. He runs around in there like he is playboy of the year. Talks to the girls nasty. It is a lot of waisted space on your computer with eric talking about leaveing a condom in a scrape book or in a grocrey store floor. He runs over the new girls in there and exclueds them if they don't play along with him, He acts like he knows everything,and bullys girls around. And nobody stands up to him. It all gets quite for a while and they go on like he has said nothing. And nobody says anything to him. It kinda feels like being grabed by the throat and slamed up against the wall and they are just standing there like oh well. He flirts with them all the time and if he is not the center of everything he blows.When the girls engaged in a topic he is quite for a while and the longer they talk the madder he gets
And then bam some poor soul who ever sets him off that day gets it. Most of them who do are so hurt they say nothing and most time just leaves.
The ones that do say something back get cussed out and jumped on by him. He is a bully. And he hurts people with out a any after thought to what he has done. Nobody that gos in there is prepared for that.and is a pretty big slap in the face. I am sorry but that is true. Amy has a right to be mad.
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Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #245 on: May 16, 2005, 12:53:00 PM »
The htt://groups.msn.com/RoloffEvangelisticEnterprizesInc
Would be Eric's Office I would be afraid
I think he kept Roloff's paddle for him self.
He hides behind his girl harem
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Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #246 on: May 16, 2005, 04:38:00 PM »
thank you so much for being mine and others "voice" on this other group issue.I have always felt the same way you do and they made me feel the same way they made you feel.Its nice to see a post expressing the same way I feel!
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Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #247 on: May 16, 2005, 05:35:00 PM »
No worries! It has been long over due. If it had been just me I probaly would have just kept it to my self. But there has been a lot of talk about this. There are some nice people in there
who try to be supportive,But stay as nutral as possible because they don't want to end up in someone like my shoes. Or yours. I don't even know if the people who are accepting this behavior even realizes that this is hurting people and that most just be quite and let them do all the talking because they simply don't want to lose that link to maybe finding that lost friend . It is like you have made this long journey to find them, And it is important because you have been silent for a long time or when you did speak no one knew what you where talking about. So you are excited
and think my God- I have finally found some one who is going to understand after all these years . And so sence most of them have been a good support for each other witch is good I guess
They set your feelings aside and dismiss them. Because "They Have Healed" I thought, Here they are in this position, They have resourses and means to make grate things happen. To really help people. But instead dismissing most issues
and turning it into a school room. There is a chat room for that we do not want to here how wide or skinny they think there ass is Stupid stuff. And we don't want to be abused by smeone
who runs over us like a Mac truck. My way or they highway. saying what they want and need about thier own issues but if you do it than you have problems and I don't know how many pity partys he has thrown. I know I got one. There is not one person in here that dose not know they have to "Get Over It" Most of us have And go on and do pretty well through our day to day lifes.
Sometimes Just simply having a friend knowing that someone is there and understands- is enough.
Support Go's a long ways. I think simple support knows it's place because it dose not judge or bost or abuse. It is trusted. A mutual respect
Is soft spoken. It dose not bragg. If they are happy then I am happy for them. But I need more
and will look till I find it. It is not the past
That I am looking for anyway, It is a better tommrow -The day I can feel good just being my self not be alone any more and not be afraid because I have support and hopefully a friend who loves me just for  being me, Home in all,
A package deal.
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Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #248 on: May 16, 2005, 11:37:00 PM »
You are not alone in your feelings. I have had the same experiences and look for the same support. I felt like I did not fit in when I needed someone to understand my feelings and had hoped I could open up and find some old friends.
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Offline GentleStormi

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #249 on: May 17, 2005, 06:11:00 AM »
http://samvak.tripod.com/trauma.html

this is an interesting piece that i have been chewing on, the process of healing and grieving in a world that does not know how to respond in a way that will be productive to healing.

I paste in some of what it says:

We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu.
It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the traumatizing events - society demonstrates a diametrically opposed progression. This incompatibility, this mismatch of psychological phases is what leads to the formation and crystallization of trauma.

PHASE I
Victim phase I - DENIAL


The magnitude of such unfortunate events is often so overwhelming, their nature so alien, and their message so menacing - that denial sets in as a defence mechanism aimed at self preservation. The victim denies that the event occurred, that he or she is being abused, that a loved one passed away.


Society phase I - ACCEPTANCE, MOVING ON


The victim's nearest ("Society") - his colleagues, his employees, his clients, even his spouse, children, and friends - rarely experience the events with the same shattering intensity. They are likely to accept the bad news and move on. Even at their most considerate and empathic, they are likely to lose patience with the victim's state of mind. They tend to ignore the victim, or chastise him, to mock, or to deride his feelings or behaviour, to collude to repress the painful memories, or to trivialize them.


Summary Phase I
The mismatch between the victim's reactive patterns and emotional needs and society's matter-of-fact attitude hinders growth and healing. The victim requires society's help in avoiding a head-on confrontation with a reality he cannot digest. Instead, society serves as a constant and mentally destabilizing reminder of the root of the victim's unbearable agony (the Job syndrome).


PHASE II

Victim phase II - HELPLESSNESS


Denial gradually gives way to a sense of all-pervasive and humiliating helplessness, often accompanied by debilitating fatigue and mental disintegration. These are among the classic symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). These are the bitter results of the internalization and integration of the harsh realization that there is nothing one can do to alter the outcomes of a natural, or man-made, catastrophe. The horror in confronting one's finiteness, meaninglessness, negligibility, and powerlessness - is overpowering.


Society phase II - DEPRESSION

The more the members of society come to grips with the magnitude of the loss, or evil, or threat represented by the grief inducing events - the sadder they become. Depression is often little more than suppressed or self-directed anger. The anger, in this case, is belatedly induced by an identified or diffuse source of threat, or of evil, or loss. It is a higher level variant of the "fight or flight" reaction, tampered by the rational understanding that the "source" is often too abstract to tackle directly.


Summary Phase II

Thus, when the victim is most in need, terrified by his helplessness and adrift - society is immersed in depression and unable to provide a holding and supporting environment. Growth and healing is again retarded by social interaction. The victim's innate sense of annulment is enhanced by the self-addressed anger (=depression) of those around him.


PHASE III

Both the victim and society react with RAGE to their predicaments. In an effort to narcissistically reassert himself, the victim develops a grandiose sense of anger directed at paranoidally selected, unreal, diffuse, and abstract targets (=frustration sources). By expressing aggression, the victim re-acquires mastery of the world and of himself.

Members of society use rage to re-direct the root cause of their depression (which is, as we said, self directed anger) and to channel it safely. To ensure that this expressed aggression alleviates their depression - real targets must are selected and real punishments meted out. In this respect, "social rage" differs from the victim's. The former is intended to sublimate aggression and channel it in a socially acceptable manner - the latter to reassert narcissistic self-love as an antidote to an all-devouring sense of helplessness.

In other words, society, by itself being in a state of rage, positively enforces the narcissistic rage reactions of the grieving victim. This, in the long run, is counter-productive, inhibits personal growth, and prevents healing. It also erodes the reality test of the victim and encourages self-delusions, paranoidal ideation, and ideas of reference.


PHASE IV

Victim Phase IV - DEPRESSION

As the consequences of narcissistic rage - both social and personal - grow more unacceptable, depression sets in. The victim internalizes his aggressive impulses. Self directed rage is safer but is the cause of great sadness and even suicidal ideation. The victim's depression is a way of conforming to social norms. It is also instrumental in ridding the victim of the unhealthy residues of narcissistic regression. It is when the victim acknowledges the malignancy of his rage (and its anti-social nature) that he adopts a depressive stance.


Society Phase IV - HELPLESSNESS

People around the victim ("society") also emerge from their phase of rage transformed. As they realize the futility of their rage, they feel more and more helpless and devoid of options. They grasp their limitations and the irrelevance of their good intentions. They accept the inevitability of loss and evil and Kafkaesquely agree to live under an ominous cloud of arbitrary judgement, meted out by impersonal powers.


Summary Phase IV

Again, the members of society are unable to help the victim to emerge from a self-destructive phase. His depression is enhanced by their apparent helplessness. Their introversion and inefficacy induce in the victim a feeling of nightmarish isolation and alienation. Healing and growth are once again retarded or even inhibited.


PHASE V

Victim Phase V - ACCEPTANCE AND MOVING ON

Depression - if pathologically protracted and in conjunction with other mental health problems - sometimes leads to suicide. But more often, it allows the victim to process mentally hurtful and potentially harmful material and paves the way to acceptance. Depression is a laboratory of the psyche. Withdrawal from social pressures enables the direct transformation of anger into other emotions, some of them otherwise socially unacceptable. The honest encounter between the victim and his own (possible) death often becomes a cathartic and self-empowering inner dynamic. The victim emerges ready to move on.


Society Phase V - DENIAL

Society, on the other hand, having exhausted its reactive arsenal - resorts to denial. As memories fade and as the victim recovers and abandons his obsessive-compulsive dwelling on his pain - society feels morally justified to forget and forgive. This mood of historical revisionism, of moral leniency, of effusive forgiveness, of re-interpretation, and of a refusal to remember in detail - leads to a repression and denial of the painful events by society.


Summary Phase V

This final mismatch between the victim's emotional needs and society's reactions is less damaging to the victim. He is now more resilient, stronger, more flexible, and more willing to forgive and forget. Society's denial is really a denial of the victim. But, having ridden himself of more primitive narcissistic defences - the victim can do without society's acceptance, approval, or look. Having endured the purgatory of grieving, he has now re-acquired his self, independent of society's acknowledgement.
________________________________________
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Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #250 on: May 17, 2005, 11:49:00 AM »
You can make new ones who understand,And if there is anything I can do to make your burden a little lighter let me know. I am sad that that happen to you too,however hope it helps in knowing you are not alone. And that it probaly wasn't personal feels very personal can now consider the source,And feel better than someone finally spoke up about it and hopefully will change. And if not- that is a grate loss to them because they have lost someone really special,
a lasting and loyal friendship such as yours.
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Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #251 on: May 17, 2005, 12:03:00 PM »
If they do not care about what is in my heart than they shouldn't care about my name.
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Offline Anonymous

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #252 on: May 17, 2005, 04:53:00 PM »
The thanks belongs to you for letting me I know that I was also not alone. I just hope that things will be better for future girls who join.
That maybe they didn't like it but leasoned, And that is all that matters to me.
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Offline Dear Gabby

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Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon
« Reply #253 on: May 18, 2005, 03:09:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: Bluemoon2157 on 2005-08-19 16:36 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #254 on: May 18, 2005, 04:46:00 PM »
How are you doing today Amy? R U ok? Just wondered about you.
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