Deep Thoughts.............................

[Jack Handey]

If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, "Hey look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's the soldering of justice."
Then everybody would get real quit and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
JH

[wayeast]

I think of all my uncles, my favorite was Uncle Caveman.  We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave, and because sometimes he'd eat one of us.  Later on, we found out he was actually a bear.

[Jack Handey]

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sight of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
JH

[85 Day Jerk]

When I was a kid, our favorite fishing pond was invaded by a bunch of ducks.  They would eat our bait, raid our tackle boxes and crap all over the place.  I offered 3 dollars to any kid that could get rid of the ducks.  One day a kid came to the pond with a 5 pound bag of frozen corn.  After tossing a few handfuls to the hungry ducks, he led them around the pond to a busy highway and slung the rest of the corn onto East Bay Drive.  Boy, ducks sure are stupid...........

_________________
In the line of fire, you know what to say
They gave us no choices, just one shade of grey
Back at that hellhole, behind Tyrone Mall
We walked in darkness, kept hitting the walls
I took the time to feel for the door
I had been treated, but what the hell for?

[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-04-13 21:21 ]

[ClayL]

Of all the birds I'd like to be
I'd like to be a duck!
'Cause then I'd swim along the beach
and watch the people fish and swim.

[METALGOD8]

OK, all this duck talk and I gotta pipe in. Down here in VA farmland there's this route 28 that cuts through a bunch of them big farms. 45mph speed limit, used to be 55 but everyone goes 65 now. There's this pond that sets right close to the edge of the road and there's these damn ducks that straddle that little piece of land (about 8 feet wide). I can safely say that they are FEARLESS.  :smokin:

[Jack Handey]

I hope in the future Americans are thought of as warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot.
JH