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Author Topic: Charly  (Read 3025 times)

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Offline Anne Bonney

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Charly
« on: February 04, 2007, 10:26:35 PM »
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The names are mainly called by you, Anne. I really feel sorry for you and I have ever since I first started reading your posts.

Why exactly is that?  Great that you feel badly about what I went through and how it effected me for so long, but my life is great now.  Damn, I get called a spoiled bitch on other threads and here I'm a loser with no life.  :rofl:


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I find Master's Degree staff very qualified. I hadn't realized that you had met all the staff and were able to evaluate them! Of course I should defer to your "expertise".

Where is it I said abuse was OK with me? I said if the CEDU model was not substantially changed, there could certainly be emotional abuse. Were kids restrained? No. Were they isolated? No. Were they beaten? No. Starved? No. They may have been subjected to confrontation that crossed the line into manipulation or abuse. I am not saying that is OK and I am not supporting the program without information that this is NOT happening.

I'm saying that my son was not adversely affected. I, personally, do not know of any kids who were. Are there some? Probably.

Anne, I'm sorry it's so hard for you to accept that this program might not hurt every kid. It might have served a purpose for my son, due to the fortuituous circumstances I discussed earlier. Why the anger?


It makes me ill that someone can acknowledge the things that you do and still support that place.  It makes me sick that you're not screaming from the rooftops that this form of treatment is abusive. It makes me sick that you're here fighting to recommend places for parents to send their kids.   That's where the anger is.  I didn't say Carlbrook abused every kid.  I said the Carlbrook method of treatment is abusive.
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traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline teachback

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Charly
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2007, 12:20:44 AM »
Will she ever really get it?
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Offline hanzomon4

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Charly
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2007, 12:39:25 AM »
Anne, I think the fundamental problem with program parents is that they did not experience the day to day of program life. I think that parents like charly feel that everything is fine as long as their kid doesn't comeback in a body bag or suffering with PTSD.
Parents equate a bad experience with one that causes long term suffering. When this is not the case they can easily disregard the day to day suffering of program life as worth it, the ends justifying the means. However don't feel like what you're saying is falling on deaf ears, it just takes time for someone to really get it.
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i]Do something real, however, small. And don\'t-- don\'t diss the political things, but understand their limitations - Grace Lee Boggs[/i]
I do see the present and the future of our children as very dark. But I trust the people\'s capacity for reflection, rage, and rebellion - Oscar Olivera

Howto]

Offline Anonymous

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Charly
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2007, 12:47:03 AM »
I think it also has to do with time.  Right now the kid looks okay, acts okay, therefore she thinks he's okay.

Sometimes the damage and psychological conflict inherent in living/surviving a situation like that takes time to surface to levels recognizable by others.  Perhaps even by the kid himself.
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Offline Anonymous

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Charly
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2007, 12:54:32 AM »
Charly not a real parent. Just a middle aged man with nothing better to do than troll the internet for attention wherever he can get it. It's sad really.
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Offline Nihilanthic

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Charly
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2007, 01:03:37 AM »
Can we get Elie Wiesel to help explain this shit already?
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DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Anonymous

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Charly
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2007, 01:07:48 AM »
Quote from: ""grasshopper""
Will she ever really get it?


No.
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Offline Anonymous

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Charly
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2007, 01:30:14 AM »
Charly's kid has to keep telling MOMMY DEAREST that Carlbrook was just dandy.  She's paying his way to college and supporting him.  This kid is no dummy, he's using Charly--as well he should!
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Offline hanzomon4

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Charly
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2007, 01:48:04 AM »
Charly may not agree with many here but she has been discussing and thinking about the stuff survivors have to say. I'm not asking the anyone roll out the welcome mat and declare a "Charly day" or anything. I just think she should get a little credit for talking with us........
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i]Do something real, however, small. And don\'t-- don\'t diss the political things, but understand their limitations - Grace Lee Boggs[/i]
I do see the present and the future of our children as very dark. But I trust the people\'s capacity for reflection, rage, and rebellion - Oscar Olivera

Howto]

Offline Anonymous

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Charly
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2007, 01:55:01 AM »
Charly has "been  talking to us" for about 2 years now.  She just keeps changing her NAME to do the talking.  But her TALK is the same:  PROGRAMS ARE GOOD, especially Carlbrook.  And, "she had no other choice, and WOW!  Isn't it great that Carlbrook was so damn wonderful....so you should send your kid there, too."

Plus: in all this Charly/Willie Nelson/Karen-in-Dallas TALK, she doesn't have the decency to show any respect for this son, and has disclosed every detail of this boys life, problems, and thoughts to complete strangers all over the internet. What "mother" does that?
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Offline Charly

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Charly
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2007, 09:48:03 AM »
1. I share only what my son has either shared publicly himself or has allowed me to share.  He isn't particularly concerned about his privacy.  He shares plenty about himself on the internet.

2. I am in no way recommending programs for parents to send teens to. If fact, after talking with psy, TSW, DJ and some of the more courteous posters privately, I really feel comfortable with only one program and that is Second Nature.

3. My son did not and does not hold back any of his thoughts about Carlbrook.  He hated the place, but did make good friends there, including with staff.  

4. I never said "programs are good".  They are not. However, out of home placement may be necessary in some cases.  

5. I don't know of any Carlbrook kids who feel they were abused. I have spoken with quite a few, and I am certainly open to hearing about it.  I'm sure (including my son) there are some who were treated harshly and unfairly.  As I said before, this can happen in a regular school as  well,  and has.  

6. I posted here to try to get information- and share information-which could lead to some ways to help correct the situations which lead to placement in the first place and to abusive treatment methods.  I am listening.  Are you?

7. I can't get very excited about the lack of licensing of the therapists. Licensing just doesn't mean that much to me if the staff is otherwise skilled at working with these young people.  With a few exceptions, this was the case at Carlbrook.  I've been through licensing processes, and to me they are mainly administrative.

8. If all these Carlbrook grads were abused, I hope they find their way here to this forum to share their stories.  My son has been out for almost 3 years, and he has no interest in re-hashing every minute of his 9 months there. Perhaps there are others who are. I have seen one or two come by, but they don't seem interested in staying.

9. Anne, what good does it do to scream from the rooftops that  these places are all abusive?  How's that working for you.  I have a lot better success talking to parents privately and giving my input. They find me a litttle more credible, fortunately, and I can lead them away from a mistake.
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Offline Anne Bonney

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Charly
« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2007, 10:57:17 AM »
Quote from: ""Charly""
9. Anne, what good does it do to scream from the rooftops that  these places are all abusive?  How's that working for you.  I have a lot better success talking to parents privately and giving my input. They find me a litttle more credible, fortunately, and I can lead them away from a mistake.


It's been working out pretty well actually.  A few programs have shut down, more people are aware of how dangerous they are and I've got quite a few parents that I still correspond with after they've pulled their kids out.

Most of those people find me a little more credible (having been thru a program AND raised two grown kids) than someone who will ship their kid off to strangers and continue to support that idea after it's been proven ineffective and dangerous.
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traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline Anonymous

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Charly
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2007, 11:59:39 AM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Charly's kid has to keep telling MOMMY DEAREST that Carlbrook was just dandy.  She's paying his way to college and supporting him.  This kid is no dummy, he's using Charly--as well he should!

Got that right.  The kid's getting his tuition, room and board, car, beer and whatever else it is he needs paid by Charly.   And she complains he acts "entitled."  My daughter actually works for her gas and clothes money.
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Offline Charly

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Charly
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2007, 12:13:04 PM »
Is your daughter a varsity athlete? How demanding is her school? Doesn't leave much time for a job during school.  Actually, he's been earning quite a bit of money this year.  As always, he has his ways.  I repeat- he hated Carlbrook.  "Just Dandy" wasn't one of the phrases he used, come to think of it.
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Offline hanzomon4

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Charly
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2007, 12:33:57 PM »
Can't we all just....... Get along?

::cheers::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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i]Do something real, however, small. And don\'t-- don\'t diss the political things, but understand their limitations - Grace Lee Boggs[/i]
I do see the present and the future of our children as very dark. But I trust the people\'s capacity for reflection, rage, and rebellion - Oscar Olivera

Howto]
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