Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Facility Question and Answers
The Carlbrook thread
Charly:
I am basing the info on the workshops from the IM conversation I already posted that I had with my son. Also, from what other kids have told me. It doesn't sound quite as confrontational as much of the CEDU format, but I will ask more questions.
Yes, the food got to the kids. I was thanked by several when we sent stuff and my son reported on other stuff received.
The teachers were degreed and had certificates. Some were actually quite good and the course offerings were good- Honors, AP etc.
I think phone calls moved to once a week after a certain period of time. Our son refused some of the calls anyway, so it wasn't really an issue at first. There are 4 family workshops a year which provide an opportunity to work on fixing the relationships.
I found some of my Carlbrook files. You sign an Arbitration Agreement, which means you can not file a lawsuit, but agree to settle any disputes through Arbitration. This is not that unusual in a contract.
I found a letter my son wrote to a friend (out of standard, of course). He said, "This place is like a prison with no walls because running away will just get you sent to a worse place, similar to a real prison. There are so many ridiculous rules that are driving me crazy and I don't think I can handle it much longer. I'm trying to fake it as much as I can but it's not working out too well for me. I'm different than I used to be though by a long shot. I don't want to do drugs or drive cars or "fuck bitches" anymore if you know what I'm saying. All I want to do is be somewhere that I can slow down and workout and run all the time and be able to have general freedoms like talking to my friends. I'm reading a lot because it's one of the only things to do around here besides play chess and work on your "emotional growth". To top it off, I can't run, at least not on my own terms. I am allowed to run on campus, which is much smaller than XXXX, with a partner. The fastest guy here is as fast as XXX(slowest, fattest friend they had), so that doesn't exactly work out for me. Of course I thought I could get around that rule, so one day I took off running down the road and I got in a lot of trouble. I really miss XXXX(school) and all my friends there. I took for granted all the freedom I had there. I did whatever the hell I wanted to do, and the worst part is, if I hadn't gotten caught up in stupid stuff, which eventually led to my downfall, I might still be there. That whole thing really stresses me out when I'm here and I can't have all my own clothes, hygiene products or pictures. I'm making straight A s in school with little effort, which is nice and relaxing, but for some reason I'm in a stage where I want to learn and be challenged. Just think of my ass sitting here in the middle of nowhere being drilled every day for "being negative" and "not being committed to my emotional growth". You have it so good. Don't screw it up like I did."
Deborah:
--- Quote from: ""Charly"" ---I am basing the info on the workshops from the IM conversation I already posted that I had with my son. Also, from what other kids have told me. It doesn't sound quite as confrontational as much of the CEDU format, but I will ask more questions.
--- End quote ---
I thought your son said it was, but that he just let it roll off. Again, he's was a little older than a lot of kids who haven't developed those suvival skills yet.
--- Quote ---The teachers were degreed and had certificates. Some were actually quite good and the course offerings were good- Honors, AP etc.
--- End quote ---
What I was really after was, did you confirm this? Were the teachers certified and counselors licensed?
--- Quote ---There are 4 family workshops a year which provide an opportunity to work on fixing the relationships.
--- End quote ---
What did you personally find to be useful?
--- Quote ---I found some of my Carlbrook files. You sign an Arbitration Agreement, which means you can not file a lawsuit, but agree to settle any disputes through Arbitration. This is not that unusual in a contract.
--- End quote ---
Isn't it also true that your contract becomes null and void if the facility breeches the contract?
--- Quote ---I found a letter my son wrote to a friend (out of standard, of course). He said, "This place is like a prison with no walls because running away will just get you sent to a worse place, similar to a real prison.
--- End quote ---
How can such an environment be therapeutic in any sense of the word?
--- Quote ---There are so many ridiculous rules that are driving me crazy and I don't think I can handle it much longer. I'm trying to fake it as much as I can but it's not working out too well for me. I'm different than I used to be though by a long shot. I don't want to do drugs or drive cars or "fuck bitches" anymore if you know what I'm saying. All I want to do is be somewhere that I can slow down and workout and run all the time and be able to have general freedoms like talking to my friends. I'm reading a lot because it's one of the only things to do around here besides play chess and work on your "emotional growth". To top it off, I can't run, at least not on my own terms. I am allowed to run on campus, which is much smaller than XXXX, with a partner. The fastest guy here is as fast as XXX(slowest, fattest friend they had), so that doesn't exactly work out for me. Of course I thought I could get around that rule, so one day I took off running down the road and I got in a lot of trouble.
--- End quote ---
The consequence? Why would they discourage physical activity? Are endorphins consider drugs there? Aren't they aware that physical activity is one of the best ways for young men to work off frustration? Or is that the point? Keep them frustrated with irrational rules and no way to relased the coarsing adreneline?
--- Quote ---I really miss XXXX(school) and all my friends there. I took for granted all the freedom I had there. I did whatever the hell I wanted to do, and the worst part is, if I hadn't gotten caught up in stupid stuff, which eventually led to my downfall, I might still be there. That whole thing really stresses me out when I'm here and I can't have all my own clothes, hygiene products or pictures.
--- End quote ---
Nothing personal. No clothes, hygiene products, pictures. Again, what exactly is the 'therapeutic' value of this? Even prisoners are allowed personal effects. Another of the CEDU methods. Same at HLA. No outside toiletries, like what, the parents were going to sneak drugs to their kids in the shampoo? No, HLA made a huge profit selling these items at twice the retail price.
--- Quote ---I'm making straight A s in school with little effort, which is nice and relaxing, but for some reason I'm in a stage where I want to learn and be challenged. Just think of my ass sitting here in the middle of nowhere being drilled every day for "being negative" and "not being committed to my emotional growth". You have it so good. Don't screw it up like I did."
--- End quote ---
How would you or your son describe "Emotional Growth"? What exactly does that mean to you?
psy:
--- Quote from: ""Deborah"" ---
--- Quote ---I found some of my Carlbrook files. You sign an Arbitration Agreement, which means you can not file a lawsuit, but agree to settle any disputes through Arbitration. This is not that unusual in a contract.
--- End quote ---
Isn't it also true that your contract becomes null and void if the facility breeches the contract?
--- End quote ---
If it's anything like Benchmark they include a severability clause ( example: If any provision or provisions of this Agreement shall be held to be invalid, illegal, unenforceable or in conflict with the law of any jurisdiction, the validity, legality and enforceability of the remaining provisions shall not in any way be affected or impaired thereby.)... so my guess is no.
Is the Arbitration third party? is the arbitration party specified?
Charly:
Arbitration was AAA in VA. I assume you pick the arbitrator by AAA rules. I didn'ts see a Severability clause, but I might be missing some paperwork.
I didn't check on the degrees or certifications, but my son had enough interaction with the academic faculty to know where they have taught before and where they went to school. I don't believe this school lied about the credentials of the staff.
Physical activity wasn't discouraged. They had PE and athletic fields, basketball court etc. One gripe I had was playing lacrosse without protective equipment. There were several injuries to kids. Like Deb said, take all that testosterone and give the kids sticks to hit each other with! What was discouraged was my son running down the road to the extent that he needed to. He made all sorts of "proposals", which is what you had to do if you wanted something special. All of them were shot down. He was willing to get up at 6am to run, but needed to leave campus to do it so he could cover some distance.
I thought the parent workshops were good. We learned a lot more about the staff and got to meet them. We met other parents and shared our stories. We met the other kids. The family groups were the best part, although painful. They had three families and two therapists and a higher-level student. The kids could confront their parents, share things or discuss whatever they wanted to. It was pretty tough and emotional. The parents also got to see student panels who were able to answer questions that we had about the school and how these kids (on the panel) viewed things. Yes, I realize the kids were "picked". My son wasn't even allowed to talk to parents who visited the campus (except on parents' weekends when we were all there). The last visit we went to we got to really spend some time with the academic faculty, who had been sort of hidden from view until then.
Emotional growth- that's a good question. It is a stupid-sounding phrase. To me it meant my son could learn to manage himself in schools, the community and family. I did NOT expect him to become someone different. He hasn't. He still struggles with some of the same issues as before CB. He did manage to mature enough to get himself through high school and onto college, though. One big thing he learned was that it was OK to share some of his feelings. He had gone to a boys' school through 8th grade, and you did NOT show any weakness. You expressed sentiments towards your friends such as "You suck," but never any praise. You had to be tough at all costs. However creepy some of the staff previously mentioned might have been in terms of the touchy-feely stuff, it did help my son let out some pain and tears. That never happened in home-town therapy and it really needed to.
psy:
--- Quote from: ""Charly"" ---Arbitration was AAA in VA. I assume you pick the arbitrator by AAA rules. I didn'ts see a Severability clause, but I might be missing some paperwork.
I didn't check on the degrees or certifications, but my son had enough interaction with the academic faculty to know where they have taught before and where they went to school. I don't believe this school lied about the credentials of the staff.
--- End quote ---
Well. My parents and I were told that the main educational staff member (the only one) at Bmark was working on her PHD. I find out later that she didn't even have a BA!
I'm more interested in the qualifications of the "advisers"/"counselors" however... were they licensed therapists? The group facilitators?
--- Quote ---He made all sorts of "proposals", which is what you had to do if you wanted something special.
--- End quote ---
CEDU... cedu cedu cedu... "proposals"... funny. we had the exact same thing at Bmark... It was a joke really... they all got shot down as well. It helped build a healthy sense of cynicism... that attempting to change things was futile. Valuable lessons for the modern workplace... and life in general!
--- Quote ---All of them were shot down. He was willing to get up at 6am to run, but needed to leave campus to do it so he could cover some distance.
I thought the parent workshops were good. We learned a lot more about the staff and got to meet them. We met other parents and shared our stories. We met the other kids. The family groups were the best part, although painful. They had three families and two therapists and a higher-level student. The kids could confront their parents, share things or discuss whatever they wanted to. It was pretty tough and emotional. The parents also got to see student panels who were able to answer questions that we had about the school and how these kids (on the panel) viewed things. Yes, I realize the kids were "picked". My son wasn't even allowed to talk to parents who visited the campus (except on parents' weekends when we were all there).
--- End quote ---
That should tell you a lot... How many others weren't allowed to talk to the parents.
--- Quote ---The last visit we went to we got to really spend some time with the academic faculty, who had been sort of hidden from view until then.
Emotional growth- that's a good question. It is a stupid-sounding phrase. To me it meant my son could learn to manage himself in schools, the community and family. I did NOT expect him to become someone different. He hasn't. He still struggles with some of the same issues as before CB. He did manage to mature enough to get himself through high school and onto college, though. One big thing he learned was that it was OK to share some of his feelings. He had gone to a boys' school through 8th grade, and you did NOT show any weakness. You expressed sentiments towards your friends such as "You suck," but never any praise. You had to be tough at all costs. However creepy some of the staff previously mentioned might have been in terms of the touchy-feely stuff, it did help my son let out some pain and tears. That never happened in home-town therapy and it really needed to.
--- End quote ---
Question? If groups are places of confrontation etc... Do you think that encourages kids to be open about their feelings? Do you think forcing them to be open about things is good? Won't that backfire in the long run? May they only learn how to "fake it"... afraid of what will happen if they are truthful?
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