Requesting Parents' Assessment of Hyde School

[Anonymous]

as a former student of hyde, i can say that it is very important to investigate what the school is about and come to your own conclusion as a parent. equally important is understanding that it is not really possible to understand what it is really like unless you are faculty or student. the website and literature are very reassurring, especially for a parent of a struggling high school student, but the controversies, inadequacies, and incindiary incidents are played down and drowned out by faith in the 'process' and by extension your  character. the founder of the school is narsissistic and strubborn, and his ask no questions tough love approach comes out as bullying and lecturing more times than not. but again, this is my openion

i was treated extremely inappropriatly on multiple occasions by faculty, once crossing the line into unprovoked violence coming from a senior faculty. i was called 'bitch' and 'f*cking idiot' during confrontations. the many faults and unprofessionalism amoung the staff is not represented truthfully on the website, so beware.

hyde school sincerly believes that they help families all the time and are committed to doing more of it. i still talk to people who are firm that they owe their lives to hyde. i dont. and most of the people who retain their souls after graduating or getting out dont either and arent bashful about talking about it.

You seem like a new poster.  I thank you for giving us your honest opinion. It is always good to hear from students who went to Hyde.  Would love to see more students posting.

Can you give us some specifics of the negative and positive things you observed while at Hyde?  What is your opinion about Hyde stating that 98% off all graduates are accepted to college?

[Anonymous]

as a former student of hyde, i can say that it is very important to investigate what the school is about and come to your own conclusion as a parent. equally important is understanding that it is not really possible to understand what it is really like unless you are faculty or student. the website and literature are very reassurring, especially for a parent of a struggling high school student, but the controversies, inadequacies, and incindiary incidents are played down and drowned out by faith in the 'process' and by extension your  character. the founder of the school is narsissistic and strubborn, and his ask no questions tough love approach comes out as bullying and lecturing more times than not. but again, this is my openion

i was treated extremely inappropriatly on multiple occasions by faculty, once crossing the line into unprovoked violence coming from a senior faculty. i was called 'bitch' and 'f*cking idiot' during confrontations. the many faults and unprofessionalism amoung the staff is not represented truthfully on the website, so beware.

hyde school sincerly believes that they help families all the time and are committed to doing more of it. i still talk to people who are firm that they owe their lives to hyde. i dont. and most of the people who retain their souls after graduating or getting out dont either and arent bashful about talking about it.

Although I am very sorry to hear about your experiences, I am very glad to see your comments here.  You help to affirm my own Hyde experience. I too heard Hyde staff curse at students in incredibly inappropriate ways.  I also agree that Hyde's materials (see their web site and print materials) are phenomenally slick and are designed to suck in very vulnerable parents of very vulnerable kids.  It's hard for me to believe the stark contrast between Hyde's slick website and the real Hyde that I know and experienced first hand.  It reminds me of the slickest Madison Avenue techniques used to try to save a lousy, dying product.  It's fiction.

Sure, some people credit Hyde for "saving" their lives.  That's fine, and I wish them well.  But for every one of those families I'm willing to bet their are DOZENS who felt abused, mistreated, exploited and deeply damaged by Hyde.  I've talked to dozens of parents myself who feel exactly that way.

Thanks for adding your clear voice.

[gary eskow]

Sure, some people credit Hyde for "saving" their lives.  That's fine, and I wish them well.  But for every one of those families I'm willing to bet their are DOZENS who felt abused, mistreated, exploited and deeply damaged by Hyde.  I've talked to dozens of parents myself who feel exactly that way.

Thanks for adding your clear voice.[/quote]

So, who's willing to have their story  appear in print?

[Anonymous]

I was never "abused" while there. One male teacher would call me in for meetings and want to talk about really inappropriate things . was 15 or 17 at the time and oblivious. Only later did I realize he was testing the waters for a Senator Foley experience. I am sure he was  expanding more than just the "character" of some of my classmates. I was not a behavior problem but a recluse . So for me the place was more of a scary ordeal, than a directly abusive experience like some of my peers had.  
My warning to parents would be that if you have a kid who needs to be corralled and taught respect and self control it is a viable option. But for the undermotivated or unassertive kid who needs motivation and self assurance it is stifiling. Examples: If I did well on a test , I was told that I was selfish because I did well and did not help the others. When I scored my first goal ever in a lacrosse game coach Malcom Gauld said to me  "I don't know how that ball went in, it was a really slow shot, i think the golie did not see it. " Not an uplifting experience for me, but some kids need to be smacked down and reigned in..please don't critique my spelling, I went to Hyde.

[Anonymous]

If I did well on a test , I was told that I was selfish because I did well and did not help the others.

Oh, do I hear that ever so well!!  Same thing here.  You could find NOTHING to be proud about like you would in a regular school.

[Anonymous]

I think that I had things to be proud of, and at times was coached and mentored well. But, I was not challenged academicaly, they would scoff at the mention of academic excellence or achievement. But for some reason they felt it important and educational to push me to sing and dance like some sort of Kansas City queer in this traveling show that promoted the school and it's education program. I still every once in a while think of Joe Gauld singing that "searching for buried treasure" song and bust out in a disbelieving laugh...like did that really happen to me?. was I really a part of that?
 We would cancil classes for days to weeks so we could have intensive rehersals of the "show" .  I was also told what sports to play which irked me and dispite being unassertive I eventually wore them out and was "allowed".. to play soccer and lacrosse for my last year there. I went on to play Div III lacrosse and thus have played and coached both since with ardor and zeal. I kind of regret things like that because I lost time developing skills, Writing skills, public speaking skills, team building skills, Stick skills, language learning years, soccer skills development ect, All so that Joe could sing his silly song to the disbelievers. No spelling comments I went to Hyde

[gary eskow]

I think that I had things to be proud of, and at times was coached and mentored well. But, I was not challenged academicaly, they would scoff at the mention of academic excellence or achievement. But for some reason they felt it important and educational to push me to sing and dance like some sort of Kansas City queer in this traveling show that promoted the school and it's education program. I still every once in a while think of Joe Gauld singing that "searching for buried treasure" song and bust out in a disbelieving laugh...like did that really happen to me?. was I really a part of that?
 We would cancil classes for days to weeks so we could have intensive rehersals of the "show" .  I was also told what sports to play which irked me and dispite being unassertive I eventually wore them out and was "allowed".. to play soccer and lacrosse for my last year there. I went on to play Div III lacrosse and thus have played and coached both since with ardor and zeal. I kind of regret things like that because I lost time developing skills, Writing skills, public speaking skills, team building skills, Stick skills, language learning years, soccer skills development ect, All so that Joe could sing his silly song to the disbelievers. No spelling comments I went to Hyde

Very witty post! Rings especially with me since I'm a composer!
www.garyeskow.com

[Anonymous]

I think that I had things to be proud of, and at times was coached and mentored well. But, I was not challenged academicaly, they would scoff at the mention of academic excellence or achievement. But for some reason they felt it important and educational to push me to sing and dance like some sort of Kansas City queer in this traveling show that promoted the school and it's education program. I still every once in a while think of Joe Gauld singing that "searching for buried treasure" song and bust out in a disbelieving laugh...like did that really happen to me?. was I really a part of that?
 We would cancil classes for days to weeks so we could have intensive rehersals of the "show" .  I was also told what sports to play which irked me and dispite being unassertive I eventually wore them out and was "allowed".. to play soccer and lacrosse for my last year there. I went on to play Div III lacrosse and thus have played and coached both since with ardor and zeal. I kind of regret things like that because I lost time developing skills, Writing skills, public speaking skills, team building skills, Stick skills, language learning years, soccer skills development ect, All so that Joe could sing his silly song to the disbelievers. No spelling comments I went to Hyde

  What years were you with America's Spittle?  I thought it was queer the way Joe loved to perform.

[Anonymous]

I left there in 82. Don't get me wrong, I don't know for sure If I am sucessful and happy because of the place or inspite of it. I do remember not likeing it, and feeling trapped. I wanted out of theat weird place. But when my mom brought this up a in a regional parent meeting, it was reported by a school rep back to the mother ship and I was confronted. I had dared to wonder if the school was right for me. A character flaw in need of reparation. I was a shy kid, young for my years, and all of 14 . I toed the line and tried to fit in. Later they tried the same thing with my little sister and she called them on it, and she did not give up, as was her custom. My mother capitulated pronto as daughter-mom communication lines are wireless broadband in comparison to the mom-son pony express.

[Anonymous]

I left there in 82. Don't get me wrong, I don't know for sure If I am sucessful and happy because of the place or inspite of it. I do remember not likeing it, and feeling trapped. I wanted out of theat weird place. But when my mom brought this up a in a regional parent meeting, it was reported by a school rep back to the mother ship and I was confronted. I had dared to wonder if the school was right for me. A character flaw in need of reparation. I was a shy kid, young for my years, and all of 14 . I toed the line and tried to fit in. Later they tried the same thing with my little sister and she called them on it, and she did not give up, as was her custom. My mother capitulated pronto as daughter-mom communication lines are wireless broadband in comparison to the mom-son pony express.

  I have the same question as to what Hyde did or did not do for me.  Here is the Hyde rule:  If you turned out good it is because you when to hyde.  If you turned out bad it is because you are not living up to your unique potential.  If you have a lot of money it does not matter just send a donation.

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid an economic hammer is the only way to wield some clout around there.  Perhaps if places such as the William H. Donner Foundation stopped giving them money and their insurance company upped premiums (due their utter lack of action on issues they get sued over), they might deign to lend an ear.

Any way to know who their insurance company is or how to contact the companies that donate to them?

I imagine that Hyde's annual report lists major donors.

OK, so here's what you do if you're serious: you write a piece of about 7,500 words that points out in a clear and fair manner the things about the Hyde School that are disturbing to so many people who have passed through the institution.  To be effective this piece MUST include quotes from individuals- both students and their parents- who have had negative experiences with Hyde; hiding behind a cloak of anonymity is fine on sites like this, but it won't cut it at the next level.  You build up a case that is difficult to dismiss.

You also compose this piece so that it will also be read by educational consultants, newspaper and magazine editors, and producers at media outlets.

The ultimate result, hopefully, would not be that the Hyde School collapse, but rather that under duress it is forced to face up to the damaging behavior that has blemished its performance, and become a better place.  At least, that would be my hope.

Gary:  I am so thrilled to hear that you want to gather people's stories about Hyde and disseminate them to educational consultants, parents, etc.  There's no doubt in my mind that the general public needs to know what goes on at Hyde; for much too long Hyde has been able to hide (pun intended) outside the glare of media attention and public scrutiny.  That's beginning to change, in part because of this web site and, now perhaps, efforts like yours.

I'm willing to acknowledge that some people have positive Hyde experiences.  However, many (and I mean MANY) do not.  The public has the right to know both.  It's about time Hyde's own propaganda is balanced with true, unembellished, accurate stories about Hyde's history of abuses, maltreatment, lawsuits, and so on.  People need the full story, not just Hyde's self-serving story.

Thanks for taking this on.  Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Gary, is there something that us anons could do to help you?  E.g., research, proofreading, et al...?  I am in awe of your courage!

[gary eskow]

Thank you, but I'm fine- although pointing out typos is always appreciated!  Actually, you mention editing and that's an interesting point.  I rarely get edited when I submit an article, largely because I hit word counts accurately and shave fat off my writing pretty well.

However, when I wrote THE JEKYLL SIDE OF HYDE I did not attempt to cut, even where the piece would have been made tighter by doing so.  I had to get something off my chest.

Now, if we write a 5-6,000 word piece about the experiences- good and bad- that folks have had at Hyde, with the intention of helping them by performing an act of Brother's Keeper by placing Truth Above Harmony, some have wondered if doing so would place them in legal jeopardy.

Here's a thought: John Williams, the attorney we used in our case, also successfully represented another family in their suit against Hyde.  He's a well respected lawyer with expertise in the protection of first amendment rights.

Why not have everyone interested in the legal issue kick in $100 to put him on retainer?  If there are 50 such families, that would yield 5 grand, which Mr. Williams would put in an escrow account, to be used only if necessary, returned in full if not.

Again, the idea behind writing such an article would not be to disparage Hyde, say anything untruthful about them, or induce anyone considering the school from sending a child there.  We would simply let people tell their stories in a candid fashion.  Hopefully, the folks at Hyde would participate in this storytelling journey.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, but I'm fine- although pointing out typos is always appreciated!  Actually, you mention editing and that's an interesting point.  I rarely get edited when I submit an article, largely because I hit word counts accurately and shave fat off my writing pretty well.

However, when I wrote THE JEKYLL SIDE OF HYDE I did not attempt to cut, even where the piece would have been made tighter by doing so.  I had to get something off my chest.

Now, if we write a 5-6,000 word piece about the experiences- good and bad- that folks have had at Hyde, with the intention of helping them by performing an act of Brother's Keeper by placing Truth Above Harmony, some have wondered if doing so would place them in legal jeopardy.

Here's a thought: John Williams, the attorney we used in our case, also successfully represented another family in their suit against Hyde.  He's a well respected lawyer with expertise in the protection of first amendment rights.

Why not have everyone interested in the legal issue kick in $100 to put him on retainer?  If there are 50 such families, that would yield 5 grand, which Mr. Williams would put in an escrow account, to be used only if necessary, returned in full if not.

Again, the idea behind writing such an article would not be to disparage Hyde, say anything untruthful about them, or induce anyone considering the school from sending a child there.  We would simply let people tell their stories in a candid fashion.  Hopefully, the folks at Hyde would participate in this storytelling journey.

Gary, I don't think it is necessary to put your attorney on retainer.  All that one would have to do is make a phone call to him or another one to ask if there would be any legal ramifications of writing a true and accurate story.  I don't see how you could have a problem legally when there are writers who make a living off of writing stories about the rich and famous that are very disparaging.

[Anonymous]

Gary,

Don't you have anything better to d?.  Why don't you build a house in New Orleans or go serve food in a soup kitchen.  I think this is so self serving; you've finally found a small group of people who "kinda" beleive what you're saying and you milking it for all it's worth.  Maybe if everyone chipped in $100, you could use it to do some real good.

Sheesh