Requesting Parents' Assessment of Hyde School

[gary eskow]

HI Gary, that was a quote, taken from an earlier post (Mon Feb 5 2007,12:25 PM), which in turn was quoting Dr. Charles Huffine, found on the web via the following link: http://cafety.org/index.php?option=com_ ... &Itemid=35


thank you!

[Anonymous]

And Gary, please be patient.

When I first found this site, it was quite a while before I started posting.  Notwithstanding personal fears about the long arms of Hyde (which I suspect are nowhere near as long as our fears would have believe), I also was under the misguided impression that the then current posters were having a personal conversation with one another and there was no way I could just jump in and participate.  I would do a lot of reading up on older postings as well as then current ones, and then finally one day I posted as well.  It takes a while to get to that point.  And it takes a while to get from one or two sentence interjections to paragraphs.  And it'll take me a while longer to get to some of the more soul-searing and very very personal stuff, if I dare to.

In the beginning, there was a tremendous need to see my hurt or indignation, or others' hurt and indignation, expressed in print.  It was a bit cathartic, and very healing for me.  I have read others who post of these same sentiments, having read of others who express the same feeling that they thought were unique to their family's alone.  And perhaps that is where it ends for some people.  They do not have need for it to go any further.  However, I, for one, am very interested in seeing that your article makes it to print.  But you must be patient.

I am not entirely sure why this is, but there has been a tremendous increase in traffic at this site.  To be sure, the postings have been quite a bit more numerous, and I hear several voices that have not been here before.  But the "views" have also increased, exponentially it seems.  I just checked, this particular thread that this post is on has been opened and viewed 3827 times.  Last Friday night, I believe it was, I remember that it just crossed the 2100 mark.  That means that in approximately 4 days, this thread has been opened and viewed 1727 times.

[gary eskow]

And Gary, please be patient.

Thank you for your thoughts!  I have lots of work and can certainly wait to write the piece.  I'm not on a fishing expedition either--- if it happens, it happens.

[Anonymous]

Hyde always stresses that it is after us to develope our "unique potential."  In my book, that's a little like Nixon claiming he was only after "Peace" in Vietnam (as opposed to tin and tungsten).  Unique potential, yah, but only if it falls in the skinny range accepted by Hyde.

I was always extremely shy, kind of a loner.  There's a place in a healthy society for people like me, and it's not a bad place; it's just a different place than the majority of people.

At Hyde these characteristics were branded as antisocial and selfish, even narcissistic, if I remember one person correctly.  It didn't help that I liked to excel at academics.  That really branded me as a total loser.  It really felt as though they considered aptitude as being antithetical to attitude.

There is something wrong with an "educational system" that ostracizes so many.  I am sure that there are many other people who were told for equally spurious reasons that they were not "Hyde material."

You seemed to have been really damaged by Hyde School. I am very sorry for what you have been through. I wish that Hyde School would read some of these posts and ask themselves if there are changes they could make in order to be more successful.  I am afraid they are so arrogant that they believe their methods are 100% correct and that anyone who "fails" at Hyde School "didn't do the process." I wish this school were publicly admonished in the same way they publicly humiliate their students.

[Anonymous]

Hyde always stresses that it is after us to develope our "unique potential."  In my book, that's a little like Nixon claiming he was only after "Peace" in Vietnam (as opposed to tin and tungsten).  Unique potential, yah, but only if it falls in the skinny range accepted by Hyde.

I was always extremely shy, kind of a loner.  There's a place in a healthy society for people like me, and it's not a bad place; it's just a different place than the majority of people.

At Hyde these characteristics were branded as antisocial and selfish, even narcissistic, if I remember one person correctly.  It didn't help that I liked to excel at academics.  That really branded me as a total loser.  It really felt as though they considered aptitude as being antithetical to attitude.

There is something wrong with an "educational system" that ostracizes so many.  I am sure that there are many other people who were told for equally spurious reasons that they were not "Hyde material."

You seemed to have been really damaged by Hyde School. I am very sorry for what you have been through. I wish that Hyde School would read some of these posts and ask themselves if there are changes they could make in order to be more successful.  I am afraid they are so arrogant that they believe their methods are 100% correct and that anyone who "fails" at Hyde School "didn't do the process." I wish this school were publicly admonished in the same way they publicly humiliate their students.

To the contrary, I'm getting a sense that Hyde is taking a harder line with introverts. For example, back in the seventies, when I was there, there was no mandatory public singing. This new requirement seems to be aimed right at the introverts.  

I also disagree that introverts are more damaged by Hyde than others. In fact, I would argue the opposite. Introverts pose perhaps the greatest threat to Hyde. These solitary individuals are unlikely to comply with the many demands that are placed on them to be extroverts. Speaking for myself, I did not say much in seminar. I was not confrontational. I did not inform on others. I did not let laggards in class or on the sports field pass me. In short, my introverted ways held me back from assimilating. A negative theology, my Hyde experience. It can only be defined by what it was not. In the short-term it was hard; I caught a lot of flak at Hyde. However, I believe my passive resistance was the optimal long-term strategy. I recovered from Hyde more easily than did some others I know who had relinguished their rationality and decision-making processes to the school. If I did not grow for two years, at least I did not regress to the point of losing my identity to that of the group.

Mike

[Anonymous]

It would not surprise me that people like Mike and myself who made it all the way through, but resisted in some way have better long term out comes then the diploma holders.  Of course we will never know this because Hyde refuses to quantify out comes.  Hyde had blinders on to the alumni community until some one realized it was a source of cash.
 The thing that concerns me is the apparent lack of introspection on the part of the Hyde in relation to it's process, as witnessed by the fact that Joe is allowed to roam and randomly screech at parents and students.  I was myself the victim of those irrational tirades.  

I know that is was my fault that I did not see the verbal abuse as an opportunity to grow.

 In retrospect Hyde failed me and my family in it one size fits all approach.  My concern is that it will continue to fail families that need help and do not respond to the Hyde model.  Because they have a monetary motivation to keep the enrollment up, will they tell you straight away that it will not work?  After my years at Hyde I was told I would be dead shortly because I was still so screwed up.  Oddly, no one bothered to offer this little of wisdom tid bit until the money ran out.

[Anonymous]

as another introvert I would say is is harder to come to terms with the place later in life that the typical extrovert bootloking typical hyde "graduate".  I wanted the approbation of peers, parents, teachers, ect, I was 15, impressionable, and sensitive to criticism.  I lacked the adule internal fortitude of you other Cool Hand Lukes on this page that made it through with your pride intact...I tried to fit in despite my feelings that it was not my unique potential to do that stuff. I  sang my ass off , I wrestled for hours every day, cut weight while in my growing years of life, shunned academic achievement, and yes participated in hydespeak in the seminars if I had to. Now I cringe at the thought of what I did, ...It was like I was abandoned on the island of misfit toys and those bastrds Santa and Rudolf never showed up. And now, I need forgiveness.

5th

[Anonymous]

It would not surprise me that people like Mike and myself who made it all the way through, but resisted in some way have better long term out comes then the diploma holders.  Of course we will never know this because Hyde refuses to quantify out comes.  Hyde had blinders on to the alumni community until some one realized it was a source of cash.
 The thing that concerns me is the apparent lack of introspection on the part of the Hyde in relation to it's process, as witnessed by the fact that Joe is allowed to roam and randomly screech at parents and students.  I was myself the victim of those irrational tirades.  

I know that is was my fault that I did not see the verbal abuse as an opportunity to grow.

 In retrospect Hyde failed me and my family in it one size fits all approach.  My concern is that it will continue to fail families that need help and do not respond to the Hyde model.  Because they have a monetary motivation to keep the enrollment up, will they tell you straight away that it will not work?  After my years at Hyde I was told I would be dead shortly because I was still so screwed up.  Oddly, no one bothered to offer this little of wisdom tid bit until the money ran out.

tid bit of wisdom

[Anonymous]

as another introvert I would say is is harder to come to terms with the place later in life that the typical extrovert bootloking typical hyde "graduate".  I wanted the approbation of peers, parents, teachers, ect, I was 15, impressionable, and sensitive to criticism.  I lacked the adule internal fortitude of you other Cool Hand Lukes on this page that made it through with your pride intact...I tried to fit in despite my feelings that it was not my unique potential to do that stuff. I  sang my ass off , I wrestled for hours every day, cut weight while in my growing years of life, shunned academic achievement, and yes participated in hydespeak in the seminars if I had to. Now I cringe at the thought of what I did, ...It was like I was abandoned on the island of misfit toys and those bastrds Santa and Rudolf never showed up. And now, I need forgiveness.

5th

Herbie and Yukon Cornelius are here for you.  

Burl Ives

[Anonymous]

as another introvert I would say is is harder to come to terms with the place later in life that the typical extrovert bootloking typical hyde "graduate".  I wanted the approbation of peers, parents, teachers, ect, I was 15, impressionable, and sensitive to criticism.  I lacked the adule internal fortitude of you other Cool Hand Lukes on this page that made it through with your pride intact...I tried to fit in despite my feelings that it was not my unique potential to do that stuff. I  sang my ass off , I wrestled for hours every day, cut weight while in my growing years of life, shunned academic achievement, and yes participated in hydespeak in the seminars if I had to. Now I cringe at the thought of what I did, ...It was like I was abandoned on the island of misfit toys and those bastrds Santa and Rudolf never showed up. And now, I need forgiveness.

5th

Don't beat yourself up too much over this, Fifth.  We all tried in our own ways to do the best we could.  It takes all kinds to make a world.  And in the end, the only thing that really matters is love.   ::boohoo::

The criminal thing is that not only were mistakes and egregious acts of emotional destruction carried out by so-called professionals 30 years ago, but this hapless experiment continues to this day.

[Anonymous]

As another introvert I would say it is harder to come to terms with the place later in life than the typical Hyde School "graduate".  Like most normal kids, I wanted the approbation of my peers, parents, teachers, ect, I was 15, impressionable, and sensitive to criticism. I felt that it was wrong to act that way. But,  I lacked the adult like internal fortitude of you other Cool Hand Lukes on this page that made it through Hyde school with your pride intact, all the while tripping on acid and bucking authority...
Yes, I tried to fit in despite my feelings that it was not right . I sang my ass off , I wrestled for hours every day, cut massive weight while in my growing years of life, shunned academic achievement, and to my profound chagrin participated in hydespeak in the seminars if I had to. Like that was the "real me"??  Now I cringe at the thought of what I did, and the way they convinced me to pretend to be something I was not. ..It was like I was abandoned on the Island of Misfit Toys and those bastards Santa and Rudolf never showed up.
And now, I need forgiveness.

5th

[Anonymous]

Don't cry for me, I have come to terms with it., thank you

..the best way to settle my mind is to Picture Joe Gauld In the Pit with the place dark and a single spot on him, David Larson on paino, that goofy Mr Brown guy on guitar...

"As a booooy, I trusted the woooorld, I took my plaaaace and ran the raaaaaace, searching for burried treasure by the sea,....."...help me out here...what is the rest??..

I was always afraid that I was going to get that microphone after him...all slobbered

5th

[Anonymous]

As another introvert I would say it is harder to come to terms with the place later in life than the typical Hyde School "graduate".  Like most normal kids, I wanted the approbation of my peers, parents, teachers, ect, I was 15, impressionable, and sensitive to criticism. I felt that it was wrong to act that way. But,  I lacked the adult like internal fortitude of you other Cool Hand Lukes on this page that made it through Hyde school with your pride intact, all the while tripping on acid and bucking authority...
Yes, I tried to fit in despite my feelings that it was not right . I sang my ass off , I wrestled for hours every day, cut massive weight while in my growing years of life, shunned academic achievement, and to my profound chagrin participated in hydespeak in the seminars if I had to. Like that was the "real me"??  Now I cringe at the thought of what I did, and the way they convinced me to pretend to be something I was not. ..It was like I was abandoned on the Island of Misfit Toys and those bastards Santa and Rudolf never showed up.
And now, I need forgiveness.

5th

Damn it, Fifth, are you going to keep posting your message until I come to my defense? My acid days came to an abrupt end one week into summer school. Ed said flush it, I flushed it, and I've been straight ever since.

Now, if it makes you feel better, I'm going to share some information from a private communication to Emil. Emil, I hope you don't mind. Emil and I were on the same junior varsity wrestling team, and he liked to sing "Skin and skin and skin and bones" when he saw me. I was six feet tall and 126 pounds! I could beat the other malnourished, enfeebled skeletons in my weight class at Hyde, but I didn't stand a chance against a healthy Maine high schooler. Usually I'd just pass out at the start of the match.

My emotional and academic weight loss weren't much different. It was like Buchenwald, and the object was to survive. You had your methods; I had mine. So forgive yourself.        

Now, about the little goody two shoes who didn't take acid. I went to college with W. my freshman year. W. graduated from Hyde in 1974 and interned while Emil and I were there. He was Hyde leadership material, but I had a lot of respect for W. nevertheless. He went on to become a backwoods lawyer in his home town in Kentucky. We used to hit the pubs together, and he even talked me into driving 300 miles to a Hyde reunion at another college. Michael, Rob, and many others were there: the salt of the earth at Hyde. One girl (a very attractive 1975 Hyde graduate) threw herself at me after two minutes' acquaintance. I didn't take her up on it, and I could still kick myself in the butt for being such a jerk. I imagine that she picked me out because all the guys at the reunion were impotent from too much alcohol, pot, and coke. Here I was, "the drug addict," the only straight one at the Hyde reunion, watching Hyde's leaders make total idiots of themselves. That's the night I realized I stood a good chance of making it in the world, despite all that Hyde had been telling me.

Fifth, you have a highly provocative sense of humor.  

Mike

[Anonymous]

Don't cry for me, I have come to terms with it., thank you

..the best way to settle my mind is to Picture Joe Gauld In the Pit with the place dark and a single spot on him, David Larson on paino, that goofy Mr Brown guy on guitar...

"As a booooy, I trusted the woooorld, I took my plaaaace and ran the raaaaaace, searching for burried treasure by the sea,....."...help me out here...what is the rest??..

I was always afraid that I was going to get that microphone after him...all slobbered

5th

  I was not there for Joe crooning that one.    I remember Stan and Dave thought.  Joe sang St James Infirmary / St Louie Woman when I was there.  That is one thing Joe did do for me was introduce me to W.C. Handy and demonstrate how _not_ to cover his material.  It was Dave that made the selection for him I believe.

[Anonymous]

Luke is probably not a good analogy.  I never went out of the way to provoke, like Luke.  I actually compiled a great deal,  I just did not buy into a lot of the crap.  And I do mean crap.  National Commitment  was a big steaming pile.  See the 'Take the Hyde School Challenge' thread and watch the video and see if you can figure out where National Commitment fits.  Join Hyde and save the world!  Sing and dance and help spread the word!  I sang, but only because I like to sing.  I actually openly made mock of NC.
  Luke in the final scene is killed in a church.  I am alive and well.

Emil