Full-times and tent restrictions (jumpsuit?): testify

[try another castle]

It stopped my mind and fatigued me.

That's by design. It makes you nice and vulnerable for the raps and writing assignments you were going to be put through. They didn't want you thinking or resisting.

The tactic is literally called "mind-stopping" by cult experts, so it's very interesting that you used that choice of words.

'Do not speak with the boys in the school or I was gonna look like a mechanic' <---Jumpsuit

Just goes to show what they know. I happen to like female mechanics.    

I love how any relationship that had be potential of being something more than platonic (real or simply imagined by staff) was immediately considered "dishonest". No wonder so many of us are fucked up about sex!

[U wanna know? Ask!]

LOL.  It is rather ridiculous that after spending three years basically only working on 'guy' issues, I've had some FUCKED up relationships since I've gotten out....

[Nihilanthic]

How exactly is a jumpsuit a punishment unless you're a fashion conscious gulag inmate?

Well, I should keep in mind who I'm asking and in what forum I'm asking that...  :rofl:

Is it a run risk thing? I don't get it..

[U wanna know? Ask!]

How exactly is a jumpsuit a punishment unless you're a fashion conscious gulag inmate?

Well, I should keep in mind who I'm asking and in what forum I'm asking that...  :rofl:

Is it a run risk thing? I don't get it..

A jumpsuite is a form of fulltime.  It isn't necessarily the look that is unappealing (although it is regardless of how 'fashionable' you are or not) But it is the fact that you only get a few of other clothing items to put on under that, i.e. underwear.  You also lose all of your stuff and have indefinite work assignments.  Although I was never in a jumpsuit, I think I did more fulltimes that I would have had I broken some major agreements.

[try another castle]

The tactic is literally called "mind-stopping" by cult experts, so it's very interesting that you used that choice of words.

My mistake on this. The term, upon further recollection, is "thought-stopping" not "mind-stopping". It's the same thing, and that is what work details are designed to do, I'm just a sucker for semantics.

I've had some FUCKED up relationships since I've gotten out....

Me too. At one point, I just decided "fuck it", and chose to have meaningless, anonymous encounters instead. But now I have my eye on someone I'd like to have something more with, (possibly) and I'm  being super careful about it. Doubt anything will come of it, though.

I have to say, my full-time was pretty instrumental in getting the ball rolling regarding guilt about sex, sexuality and gender. It was already headed in that direction, since I had already been there about four months, but that kind of pushed me over the edge. I was made to think I was predatory. That I forced unwilling partners to fool around with me before I got there. Granted, I was certainly manipulative, because that's how horny teens and adolescents are, but I didn't force anyone to do anything. Yet there is still that small bit of doubt in my head. You should see some of the crap I have written in my notebook about this.

[U wanna know? Ask!]

I remember being asked if I "actually like what happened to me" when I spoke of being molested at 11.  He was like, "don't most kids mess around by then?"  I was floored.  For about a half of second, I had to second guess if I was actually molested due to the age I was.....bullshit!

[Anonymous]

Boy, what helpful question.  Let's take a girl who was violated and imply that perhaps she had something to gain from it.   That will help her develop emotionally!  

The sad thing is I could see them badgering you until you said yes.   That is the type of thing that I saw often at CEDU, and the result is that you internalize more blame, and give up another little piece of yourself.

[try another castle]

I remember being asked if I "actually like what happened to me" when I spoke of being molested at 11.  He was like, "don't most kids mess around by then?"  I was floored.  For about a half of second, I had to second guess if I was actually molested due to the age I was.....bullshit!

Makes me wonder if this guy hadn't done a little molesting himself. "Don't most kids mess around by then?" Maybe with their peers, you fucking lecherous prick.

[Deborah]

It sometimes happens that when a young person is molested, there are mixed feelings. They may have experienced physical pleasure and emotional pain simultaneously, therefore confusing the issue. It's a good direction for genuine therapy, if the client has any confusion.... somehow, knowing the way CEDU works, I feel certain this wasn't the intention.

[Anonymous]

It sometimes happens that when a young person is molested, there are mixed feelings. They may have experienced physical pleasure and emotional pain simultaneously, therefore confusing the issue. It's a good direction for genuine therapy, if the client has any confusion.... somehow, knowing the way CEDU works, I feel certain this wasn't the intention.

Since any normal sexual thoughts and feelings were discouraged, that would be impossible.

[Anonymous]

I fell in love with someone at CEDU. Everyone said it was just desert island syndrome, but I loved her and she loved me. We didn't wanna sneak around for 16+ months, biding our time till we got out. So we did what we were "supposed" to do. We "cleaned up our attraction" in a rap.

And we were promptly placed on bans. Someone posted in another thread, I believe it was Dom, about how she was just thrown on all guy bans and left on them until all the staff forgot about them 3 or so months down the line, and then immediately thrown back on them. I can atest to that.

But we loved each other so we said fuck CEDU. We'd have people look out for us just so we could sit behind the Quixote Lodge and talk. She'd fake sick so she could spend the night floor in her dorm, and I'd make a covert run from Quixote to Mary Cassat (the dorm on the pond) under darkness.

When we got caught (after 8 months....never write notes), we were crucified. We were lit up in raps, called dirty, deceitful, incapable of being honest, sick. My primary staff told me how disgusted they were with me for lying to them and how sick of a person I was to do such a thing. Raps for the next few weeks focused on staff trying to convince my friends to hate me because I had held the truth from them (when really, I was just a firm believer of AT BCA, THE LESS YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS, THE BETTER!!).

As a result of a perfectly natural attraction, my graduation was delayed 6 months from August to February, which cost me Fall entrance into a prestigious post-grad school that would've saved the terrible quality of my high school education.

But hey, the staff knew what they were doing, so it's all good, right? They were professionals.

[Anonymous]

This is exactly what I mean. CEDU twists normal sexual development by making the normal something that is abnormal, dirty, and shameful.   To do so at such a pivotal time in a developing person's life can have far reaching implications on his or her psyche.  Meanwhile, the perverse is often glorified, because you win brownie points for confessing.

UGH!
Shanlea

[try another castle]

This is exactly what I mean. CEDU twists normal sexual development by making the normal something that is abnormal, dirty, and shameful.   To do so at such a pivotal time in a developing person's life can have far reaching implications on his or her psyche.  Meanwhile, the perverse is often glorified, because you win brownie points for confessing.

UGH!
Shanlea

Unfortunately, my perversion was never glorified or encouraged. Yet, in spite of that, I managed to blossom into a beautifully sick and twisted fuck.

I'd love to say that CEDU helped me get my kink on, because that would be royally nasty. However, I think this was a preexisting "condition". I could be wrong, though. It sure felt good crying the first time I was caned. What a fuckin' rush. I'd be willing to bet there was some CEDU in there, needing to be exorcised.