In my last article, I wrote about some of the problems experienced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) teenagers. In this article, I'd like to discuss The Last Time I Wore a Dress by Daphne Scholinski and Jane Meredith Adams. Published in 1997 and
set in the early 1980's, this book provides a real-life account of the psychiatric abuse endured over a period of three years by a teenage lesbian diagnosed with gender identity disorder.
Summary
Daphne Scholinski is fifteen years old when her parents decide she is out of control and place her in a series of mental hospitals.
Certainly, Daphne has her share of problems. She has been sexually abused several times-by a female babysitter, by a man who lived across the street from her mother and convinced her he was a professional hit man, and by a thirty year old man who told the fourteen year old Daphne they were having a "relationship." Her mother ignores her. Her father routinely beats her with a belt. She is understandably depressed.
To gain some small measure of acceptance, she joins a street gang, begins using drugs and alcohol, and engages in petty theft.
Yet these are not the problems which concern the staff of the first hospital when Daphne arrives at their door. Instead they notice that she looks more like a boy than a girl. Her hair is cropped short, unstyled. She doesn't wear makeup. She doesn't wear "feminine" clothes. Most of her close friends are boys. Daphne's psychiatrist gives her the diagnosis "gender identity disorder," a label which haunts her over the next three years.
From the first hospital, she is transferred to another facility specializing in the care of adolescents. Here, Daphne's "treatment" involves learning how to fix her hair and put on makeup. She is given "points" for wearing eye shadow, "points" for selecting feminine garb, and, even more disturbingly, "points" for hugging male counselors.
In a private journal, Daphne notes that she sometimes feels attracted to girls. A staff member read this, and several counselors question her closely about her sexual orientation. Scared and uncertain, Daphne denies being a lesbian.
Daphne's second facility is designed to provide short-term treatment. Unsurprisingly, her gender identification does not change. More importantly, she has a good insurance policy, so rather than being discharged, she is transferred to a third psychiatric facility where she remains until the age of eighteen.
At the third facility, Daphne is no longer required to wear makeup and feminine clothing, but the staff continues to confront her about her masculine behavior and her sexual orientation. When she develops a friendship with another female resident, several staff members accuse her of having a sexual relationship with the resident. She and her friend are allowed to see each other only under the strictest supervision, and all phone calls are monitored.
nterestingly, during that same period Daphne is raped by one male resident and sexually assaulted by another, and the staff makes no effort to provide supervision or protection.
Daphne's mental health insurance coverage ends on her eighteenth birthday. Five days later, she is discharged from the hospital. She later learns that her insurance has paid out nearly a million dollars for her three years of inpatient "treatment."
As of the date of publication of this book, author Daphne Scholinski is an artist and an activist speaking out for the rights of LBGT youth. She continues to eschew typically "feminine" styles of dress and behavior, and is involved with a female partner. She writes that she continues to have nightmares and flashbacks about the psychiatric abuse she experienced during her teenage years.
Style of Writing
The events are chronicled in first person, from Daphne's point of view. Chapters detailing her experiences in the psychiatric facilities are alternated with chapters describing the events leading up to her hospitalization.
Daphne Scholinski's writing style is steady and matter-of-fact as she describes one horrific experience after another without hyperbole and, remarkably, with no trace of self pity. She even manages to weave a thread of humor through her narrative as she describes finding a way to sneak out of the third hospital for regular runs to the local liquor store.
Issues
The Last Time I Wore a Dress deals with many issues faced by teenagers and young adults-physical and sexual abuse, divorce, gang involvement, problems at school, problems with peers, depression, alcohol and drugs. Through it all runs the theme of gender identity and sexual orientation, and how these issues play upon everything else going on in Daphne's life.
For instance, her "best friend" before she is hospitalized frequently teams up with other girls to tackle Daphne, hold her down, and paint makeup on her face. Daphne realizes that this is not the behavior of a true friend, but continues the relationship because she is desperate for social contact.
Also, the staffs of all three psychiatric hospitals where Daphne is treated emphasize her gender identity and sexual orientation to the exclusion of all other issues in her life. At places in the narrative, Daphne provides doctor's notes from her actual chart. The notes of all three facilities acknowledge the abuse that Daphne has endured at the hands of family members and others, but no doctor suggests post-traumatic stress disorder as a diagnosis, and no part of the treatment plan deals with helping Daphne overcome the effects of the abuse. One doctor even blames Daphne, telling her that if she were more feminine, people would treat her better.
Daphne herself keeps in touch with the thirty year old man with whom she had a "relationship" before her hospitalization so she can tell her therapist she is with a man.
Furthermore when Daphne is raped by a male resident of the third facility, she believes she cannot confide in the staff:
"I thought if I told my therapist what had happened, she'd want to know exactly why didn't you want to sleep with Luke, a fine, handsome boy..."
Finally, the book emphasizes how one person really can make a difference, as Daphne clings to the words of the one student counselor who tells her she is "sane" and "normal."
Conclusion
The events in The Last Time I Wore a Dress sound like they should have happened ages ago, at Bedlam hospital, perhaps, or in one of the 1950s "snake pits." The fact that they happened less than twenty years ago adds a razor edge to this book. The fact that teenagers and young adults are still being hospitalized and treated for "gender identity disorder" makes it downright terrifying.
I would highly recommend The Last Time I Wore a Dress to anyone concerned about the well-being of LBGT teens. Make no mistake, however, reading this book is a grueling experience. I would advise readers to be aware of their own issues before picking it up. If you believe the book may be triggering for you, either give it a pass for now or make sure you have excellent support while you're reading it.
Scholinski, Daphne & Adams, Jane Meredith (1997). The Last Time I Wore a Dress.. Riverhead Books: New York.
Note: This article was originally published under the title "Book Details Psychiatric Abuse of Lesbian Teen." A reader notified me that Daphne actually identifies more as transsexual and asked if I would change the title to "queer teen," which I was glad to do. My apologies for any confusion.
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/les ... es/67536/3