Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Facility Question and Answers

Father and son WC

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Anne Bonney:
I had a great experience with my oldest daughter when she was 'I hate everything about you' years.  We went down to the Keys for 2 weeks.  If you make the trip something he's interested in, it can bring you closer together.  She loved the water but was scared to death of sharks.  We went out on the reefs and snorkeled, she saw sharks and conquered her fear and thought that was really cool.  She had a great story to tell her friends.   We bummed around Key West for a couple of days and I just kind of let her decide where we went and what we did.  We learned a lot of things we hadn't known about each other and she found out that Mom wasn't such a clueless, boring bitch afterall.  It didn't solve everything, or anything for that matter, but it made things a little easier to deal with.  She saw that I wasn't just out to control her and make her life miserable.  It's easy to get caught up in the day to day stuff and we'd get short with each other which would lead to knock down, drag out fights.  They seemed to happen less often and with less intensity after that.  It was a start at building an adult relationship with her that was based on mutual respect for each other and our differences.  She saw that I respected the fact that she was becoming an adult.  She still scared the crap out of me after that, but like I said...it was a little easier to talk to her and deal with situations that came up.  It was a start.

Deborah:

--- Quote from: ""Three Springs Waygookin"" ---The big thing is what you have lined up afterwards. DEBS! Scream at DJ for some FFT links will you? I am hoping he has some up to date information that might have something more regional for Badad.That there feller knows a thing or two.

What state are you from anyway Badad?
--- End quote ---


http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.ph ... nal#202609

And the thread on FFT that you initiated gookie
http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.ph ... 911#199911

DJ: If your kid cannot be treated in the community, then it is appropriate to place them in a mental hospital.
My point is that if your kid requires out of home placement, then they are, by definition, out of the scope of treatment for WT, period.
http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.ph ... nal#182807

And on the ills of coercion in captivity
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p= ... rick#16936

Badad:
I have more issues than he does.  Im talking to a shrink.

He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD when he was in 3rd grade.  The latest sign of trouble was last year in 8th grade.  We only asked him if things in school were going OK.  I was so busy with my second job (the house) I didnt take the time to follow up and make sure things were as good as he claimed. My wife also works. We, my wife and I, were still smoking pot back then.  He ended up failing 5 classes.  He went to summer school only to fail them again. The school didnt want him back until he made up the classes elsewhere.  My wifes sister (Pat) & husband offered to take him up to minneapolis to a charter school.  He passed all the classes but had many disciplinary problems.  Throwing things in class.  Swearing. Stealing. Trying to be cool.   I still dont know all the details. But I will when he returns this weekend. Pat couldnt control him and has given up.  It was a situation she could not handle.

Pat spent at least 6 hours a day between school and home working with him.  And the charter school had small 15 student classes.  The public school he will attend here has around 30 students per class.  I know he will be to shy or embarrassed to ask questions.  And is already behind because the trimester started 2 weeks ago.

I hope to hire I younger Tudor he can get along with.

Im just so worried about him because he has no goals.  When I was his age I was into modeling, BMX (I was expert) and practiced drums for hours a day.

How do I motivate him? And help him realize that its so important to use his time wisely? Because He wont have the time when hes my age.

Oz girl:
You sound really caring and hard working. the only thing i would add is that given the cost of a Wilderness programme is that i would put the money you were going to spend on it, if it is something you already have, aside for his higher education.

This way even if he spends a few years completely fucking up but eventually comes out of it, he will still something set aside to help him go to college or learn a trade.

You mentioned that you thought about paying your son but feel he should help anyway. Do you give him pocket money or pay for stuff he wants above basic needs like food, clothes and school stuff? like x box games and cds anyway? if so you could just have him earn the EQ in cash by working on the house with you. He is still learning responsibility and hard work this way.

Good luck.

Nihilanthic:
The biggest thing that everyone tends to miss is you can not FORCE IT.

You can not FORCE a bond, or FORCE therapy!

Also, some 'camp' or 'program' will not 'fix' a person like a shop or a mechanic can fix a machine. A person is a person is a person, there is no black magic, voodoo, 'fixit' or whatnot that will just make him "work" like some person or entity (society?) thinks he should.

Well, that and "wilderness" has no magical therapeutic value. Its mostly used because its an extreme environment for city/suburbanite kids, offers great ways to push them emotionally and isolate them, make them suffer, and let you get away with doing things where they have zero contact with the outside world, and reduce the chances of running away.

The "wilderness effect" spoken of on ST is no more than a "program effect".

I am glad that you're willing to admit that its not all his fault, that parents share responsibilty for their children - but you can't turn to an industry full of quackery, mind-FUCK nonsense and greedy charlatans selling snakeoil to get help. You need to work on his terms, because its his mind and feelings and his issues, not force him using circumstance or a harsh, isolated environment where he has to rely on you or a group of 'counselors' with gay injun-ripoff names to survive.

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