I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to be the parent who takes out a loan to put my child into one of these schools/programs? I think initially the parent might breathe a sigh of relief that there is a way they can make this happen, when they thought it just wasn't possible.
Once they make this commitment, it's just the beginning of what could be a total disaster. Think about it, you take out a loan for 10-20 years. That's longer then most marriages last these days! Anyway, the parent starts making payments. The first couple months it's not that big of a deal. They are feeling they did the right thing, and are just happy to have such an option. Then a few more months goes by, the child is miserable being there, and begs to come home. Depending on the place that they are in, maybe they are even experiencing emotional, physical, or even sexual abuse? With how some programs are set up, somebody is always listening to your conversations between you, and your parents. If a child starts telling their parents how they are being treated, they won't be believed. Why? Well, because the program had already warned them that their child is going to try to lie to manipulate them into taking them home.
What is a parent thinking at this point in time? Well, they are thinking that ungrateful little punk. I am paying $400 bucks for the next 20 years so they can get help, and this is how they are repaying me? I knew they were a shit before, but now I really am pissed and disappointed in them.
What are the kids thinking? I can't believe my parents sent me to this hell hole, what have I done to deserve this? I am having people fuck with my mind, and I have this staff member who is totally on my ass who has already thrown me to the ground twice hurting me, and I try to tell my parents, and they could care less. This staff member probably tells the child everyone knows you are a liar and manipulator. Did you really think you would be believed? This child is thinking, what on earth can I do to get out of here? Can I stomach it enough to "work the program" to just let them treat me how ever they want, and just take it? Do I attempt to run away? Do I just find a way to stop the pain? Do I just give up, and realize nobody cares, and kill myself? Am I determined enough to do that no matter how much it may hurt? We all have been told that people that kill themselves are selfish people, and will go to hell. Would God be as cruel as to not let me into heaven when I am feeling like I am already in hell at this very moment? Decisions, decisions.
So, if the kid decides to work the program.....then he does so resenting his parents all the way. Once the kid comes home, and comes to an age where they can never be sent back that is when the shit hits the fan. You don't think it does? Well, take it from me it does. You finally tell them like I did what you did was wrong. You put me through hell. You weren't there for me when I needed you. You didn't care I was being hurt. I hate you for this. They then throw your stuff outta the house into the alley, they close the garage door, and you are on your own to start the next chapter in life. The parents look at one another in disbelief...how could our child say these things to us? We are paying out all this money for the next 15 years, sacrificing our wants and needs so we could get them help, and this is how the little turd repays us?
Well, it was all the parents doing. They could have dealt with their childrens problems themselves. But, they got suckered into the belief that if they didn't do everything possible to get their child help then they were being bad parents. They got sold on a program that claimed they could fix all their problems. They were given the guilt trip that this would cost them no more then a Lexus. But, what it did end up costing them was their family.
The lesson to be learned, is that family is the most important thing in life. Don't be stupid enough to take on a 20 year loan to "fix your troubled teen". We all know that financial stress is the number one reason why marriages get distroyed. Why are parents so stupid to think it can't destroy their relationships with their kids? Why? Just because there is a slick salesperson on the other line who is pushing all their right buttons?
If you don't have the money to pay for a program, don't take out a 20 year loan to make it work. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. You are just adding more stress to a situation that is already pretty stressful. That my friends is a recipe for total, and complete disaster.
