This is one of the postings:
October 27, 2006
Escorting Teens to Residential Facilities for Troubled Youth - Escort or Abduction? You Decide
Julia had been struggling to raise her son, Jonathan, alone for several years following her divorce. There were months when she didn't know if she could make ends meet, but somehow things always worked out. Jonathan was eight when his father, Mike, walked out of their lives. For the first several years Julia and Jonathan were a team and had a very tight bond. Ron walked into Julia's life and before long they were married. Though Jonathan was happy for his mom he couldn't help but feel a void and slipped into depression.
When Rob moved into their home tensions formed. Julia became pregnant and during her pregnancy they discovered Jonathan's grades were slipping and his depresdsion was getting worse. Rob began to pressure Julia, telling her he had heard of programs that would help Jonathan with his grades and his depression. Feeling pressure from Rob, Julia got on the Internet and began researching programs for troubled teens. With so many websites to choose from her head was spinning. They all promised wonderful results for her son.
She finally called an 800 number and found a calm, cool, and collected person on the other end. She was asked countless questions about Jonathan and was told he was headed down the path of destruction. The admissions counselor, Patty, assured her there were wonderful programs for her son. Within 24-hours she received beautiful glossy brochures for programs inside and outside the US. Her intuition was telling her no, but the pressure from Rob and Patty was so great that she finally gave in. The baby would be born within a month and so, as Patty said, time was of the essence.
The following day Patty called back. She said after reviewing the online questionnaire Julia had filled out she believed Jonathan was suicidal and if she did not act quickly time could run out. Julia's head began to spin. How could things go from her child's grades slipping to him being suicidal, just like that? She felt trapped in her situation and though her mother's intuition again told her no, she agreed to send Jonathan to a program 3,000 miles from home.
Patty told Julia she felt it would be best if Jonathan were transported there by a teen escort service. Julia was adamant that she did not want him transported by strangers. Rob overheard the conversation and said he felt it would be best given Julia's condition. She pleaded with him to take Jonathan since she could not travel such a distance this late in her pregnancy. He refused, saying the timing was not good for him at work. Again feeling trapped, and again against her own intuition, she agreed.
Later that day she received a phone call from the escort service. They informed her that due to their travel plans they would need to pick her child up at 3:00 a.m. She was outraged, saying she wanted him picked up during the day. They told her that most children in her son's condition will resist and will not want to go. They told her it would put undue stress not only on Jonathan but on the entire family. She was told they had years of experience dealing with children and assured her he would be fine. Though this did not sit well with her, she again reluctantly agreed.
They faxed the forms, she signed them, and before she knew it the arrangements had been made. Her son would be picked up the next night. The following day was very difficult for her. As she tried to go through her day she could not help but feel she was making a huge mistake. She tried talking to Rob about it but he said she was being overprotective of her son and that this would be the best thing for him and for them. He told her it would give them a chance to start their new family while Jonathan received the help he needed.
That afternoon she took Jonathan out for an ice cream. She wanted so badly to tell her son what was about to happen but she remembered being told he would most likely run away. She held back the tears as she watched him eating his ice cream, longing for the days when it was just her and Jonathan. She questioned herself over and over again, but ultimately felt she had no choice but to send him away.
That night she tucked him into bed. She went into his room many times before 3:00 a.m., watching him sleep. Thoughts rushed through her head of waking him up, getting in the car, and taking him away from it all. She felt torn between her relationship with her son and her relationship with Rob.
At 3:00 a.m., right on time, there was a quiet knock at the door. She was shocked to see two large men standing there, not at all what she expected. They assured her everything would be fine. They sat down with her at the kitchen table, going over forms and telling her it would be best if she went into her bedroom while they woke Jonathan up and took him away. How could she do this, she thought? Rob stood over her shoulder, assuring her everything would be alright. Her hand shook as she wrote the $1,800 check.
Tears welled into her eyes as she was escorted to her bedroom. She sobbed as she stood by her door, straining to hear what was going on. She heard Jonathan scream, then he was silent. What did that mean, she wondered? Was he reassured as they said he would be? Or did they do something to him. She couldn't take it any longer and opened the door. Just then she saw them - two large men, one small child - she looked hard and realized her son was in handcuffs. His head turned and their eyes met. She ran to him, sobbing, but Rob pulled her away. She was able to swipe her hand over his face as she yelled she was sorry and that she loved him.
.As quickly as they came they were gone. Julia had never experienced pain like she experienced that night. No matter what Rob said, no words could calm her nerves. She feared something horrible would happen to her son. She laid there all night thinking about what had transpired over the past few days. She realized it was not her decision to send her son away but rather it was Rob's persistent coercion and pressure. She felt a deep resentment toward him as he laid there sleeping, unaffected by the events that had just gone on in their home. How could he be so insensitive, she thought. How could he do this to them?
She thought about all the times she taught Jonathan not to go with strangers. "Don't talk to strangers ?" ? "don't go with strangers ?"
She realized a complete stranger convinced her to allow two men she had never met before into her son's bedroom in the middle of the night. How did Jonathan feel, she wondered? Like he was being abducted? She could hear Jonathan's voice asking, "Why would mom just stand there and watch two men drag me off in handcuffs? What did I do that was so bad that they needed to do this to me?" Her heart broke.
Her mind would not let her rest. She began to think about where he was going and that she had never had a chance to go visit the place. How could she do this, send her son to a place she'd never visited to be with people she had never even met.
The next day she received a call from the escort company telling her things went well, he had reached his destination. Great, she thought, I will call my son and hear from him that he's OK. To her dismay, she learned very quickly that speaking to her son was out of the question. "But", she said, "no one ever said anything about me not being allowed to talk to my son." The lady on the other end of the line assured her Jonathan was alright and that she could even see him smiling.
.But rest assured Jonathan was not smiling. Instead he was taken into a room where he was strip searched, beaten for 30 minutes by three large men, and told he'd better learn quickly that they were in charge.
Julia was told that in order to talk to her son he would have to advance to a higher level in the program. She was told in order for him to advance he would have to attend and pass seminars, and so would his parents. But she would be having a baby soon, how could she attend a seminar hundreds of miles from home, she thought?
Her head was spinning again. She called her friend, Stacey, and broke down. Once Stacey was able to understand what had gone on, she told Julia she would do some research. It did not take long before she found countless news articles on the Internet with allegations of abuse and neglect in the very program where Jonathan had been sent. Fearful Julia would go into premature labor, she brought all of this information to Rob, believing Rob would immediately remove Jonathan for this abusive program. But Rob told her to mind her own business. She, too, was torn and did not know what to do.
.Stacey waited until after the baby was born when she finally approached Julia, showing her what she had found. Julia was enraged that her best friend had kept this information from her. But, when Stacey told her she had brought this information to Rob and Rob had told her to mind her own business, she broke down and wept and pleaded for her friend to help her.
Julia left her home and her life with Rob that night. Though she knew it would be a struggle to raise two children alone, she knew she could not stay with a man who knowingly allowed her son to remain in an abusive facility thousands of miles from home. She also realized he had convinced her to send her son away because of his own selfishness, not because he was thinking of Jonathan's best interest.
Julia took the baby to stay with her mother while she and Stacey headed to the airport. They had read stories on the Internet of parents who had difficulties retrieving their children from these facilities. In one story, a child had been transported to another facility out of the country. As they read further, this mother told how she was unaware she had signed a contract that allowed her son to be taken out of the country. Julia searched for her contract, a contract she had never fully read. The words jumped at her ? she had agreed the program could obtain a passport for her son and could transport him to a facility outside the US. Her heart sunk as they rushed to pick him up.
When they arrived they rented a car and asked for directions to the facility. They drove for what felt like a lifetime. The sun began to go down and they were still not there. They had no idea the place was in such a remote area. They stopped at a sheriff's office to ask for directions, since the ones they were given appeared to be incorrect. The sheriff suggested they rent a hotel room and wait until morning to pick up Jonathan. What they had read in one mother's story was happening to them. Julia insisted he give her directions. He refused and left the room. The Desk Officer quietly walked over to Julia and slipped a piece of paper in her hand and whispered for her to hurry. The look of fear in the officer's face made Julia realize that no matter how strong the urge to grab her and give her a hug, she had better just walk away and get her son.
The directions looked promising as it was evident they were very close to the facility. As they drove down the long dirt road they saw a broken-down sign and a small, dilapidated building. Nothing like the pictures they had seen on the Internet. Where were the beautiful horses? The rushing stream? The forest of trees? The fields of flowers? The numerous lakes and ponds? All they could see was what looked like an old run-down farm.
As they approached the building their hearts raced in fear - fear that Jonathan would not be there. They entered the office area where they were greeted by a stout woman asking what they wanted and why they were there without an appointment. Julia swallowed hard as she tried to speak. She said, "I'm here to pick up my son." The woman told her that in order to pick up her son she would have to call ahead of time and make arrangements. "Didn't you read your contract?", the woman asked. "No!", Julia answered, "and quite frankly that's part of the reason I am here tonight. Just get me my son!"
At this point they saw children walking in a straight line, their chins to their chests. When Julia realized the third child in line was her son, she screamed, "Jonathan, come here this instant!" Jonathan took one look at his mother and ran as fast as he could. Before the receptionist had time to call for assistance they were able to hustle him into their car and fled from the area, never signing forms or retrieving his belongings.
.Once they were in the car Jonathan could not stop talking. Julia later learned the children were not allowed to speak but for a few moments each day. Sadly, after they returned home he shut down and would not talk. It took months of therapy before her son would even speak to her again. They are very slowly re-building their relationship.
Copyright 2006
Isabelle Zehnder is a legal professional and a dedicated child advocate. She is the founder and President of the Coalition Against Institutionalized Child Abuse (CAICA), advocating and mentoring children who were abused and/or neglected in residential treatment programs. She provides a website to educate the public about the multi-billion dollar for-profit youth industry that, for the most part, is unregulated. She has been a member, researcher, and speaker for children's groups.
caica.org/index.htm
www.ipetitions.com/petition/endchildabuse/helpyourteens.com/questions_to_ask_schools.html
(PURE)
