The current "My teen wont forgive me" thread on ST

[Anonymous]

Exhausted, do you work?
How do you support all of these children?
If you have a job, who supervises these kids while you are at your job?
If you don't work--are you surviving on some "government program?"  If so, isn't there some type of services available to help you out with these kids?

[psy]

This isn't by chance the same fucking retard GP?  Jee Zus.  He doesn't think ADHD is a condition.  What a fucking moron.  And he gives you fucking VALIUM while you're pregnant.

Okey dokey.  Diazepam = Valium.  More common term to search with.  Bad news.  It apparantly can cause birth defects.  including:

Valium (diazepam), when taken late in pregnancy, can cause depression, irritability, exaggerated reflexes, shaking, and limpness (called Floppy baby syndrome) in the newborn.

source

It's unfortunate you can't sue the asshole for anything of worth in your country.  Boy.  If i were you, i'd... you don't want to know.

i'll look for more in a bit.

yup.  it's pretty confirmed:

fact sheet

article on study

specific warning

there's loads more.  just google:

Valium "birth defects"

[exhausted]

Agreed on the MRI, that's another thing I have wanted done for a very long time, I do believe however I can ony get that done through a private doctor, and guess what? I have to have a referal from my GP for it *thud* My neighbour has just had one done for her 20 yr old son, there was some pretty scary shit going on with brain discharges or something, i didn't fully understand it (guess i had to be there)
I will follow that up & see what I can do about it

Yes I do work, I always have, I gave up my office job to become self employed so that I can fit work in around the kids, well two of them are kids, the 17 yr old works herself and goes to college and the 19 yr old isn't a kid, i work from home mainly and also teach IT to beginners.

And thank you for the links to Valium and pregnancy - wel that pretty much confirms my fears, not that the GP will listen but I will print out as much as I can to give to him in the hope he doesn't just bin it and actually takes me seriously, I always knew there wasn't something quite right about Valium and pregnancy, dammit why did I take it?

[Anonymous]

Exhausted, didn't you post previously that your daugher has moved out of your home?  Where is she living?  Did the stress of all these abusive behaviors from her brothers cause her to move out?

[Anonymous]

Exercise and vitamins is all these kids need.

You are glib.

You don't know the history of psychiatry, but I do.

[exhausted]

A word of caution to Exhausted. I am at least glad to see you seeking out answers for your questions. However, becareful to not end up publishing the life stories of your children on fornits.

We call that doing a "Leslie" on your kids.

So far you have done well to stick with the bare essential details. Really the rest of this is up to competent medical professionals. I would further encourage you to consider seeking out further suggestions and support via the PM function.

Should you want to talk with people in a real time environment I am sure some here would not mind chatting with you on either MSN, Yahoo, AIM, or whatever it is that they use.

Please whatever you do don't stop posting. However, balance your need to post with the respect for the privacy of your children.

Thank You.

Do you feel I've gone too far?

The reason I post these things is because I don't want to ask for help on any forum without giving the full details, but I will take on board what you say about keeping it between me & the psychologist, if I ever get to see one!
The 12 year old sees one who is involved in his Ritolin intake, weighing him, blood pressure etc, but we don't get any therapy at all, which is a little surprising

Anyway none of us need to worry anymore, we have all been so blind, our problems are solved, we are glib, all we need as humans are vitamins and exercise  

[exhausted]

Okay point taken

Mine pick their nose in private nowadays as it's embarassing to be caught at their age  :lol:

[Troll Control]

I love how your "supportive" friends on ST ridicule you for trying to help your kids by looking elsewhere for information.  They're great people.

BTW, did you know that "WillieNelson" is actually "KarenInDallas" (and other names) on this board?  Do a search here for "Karen" and you'll see what an absolutly sick, nasty individual she is.  

As bad as Karen is, "Anne from Minnesota" might be worse.  Here she's called "Ottawa5" and she is truly, deeply demented despite what she tries to convey on ST.  Look her up here so you can see who you're dealing with.  

Those two women need a program for narcissistic control freaks and know-it-alls, preferably one that involves dog cages and a lot of humiliation!

I wouldn't take advice from either one of these deeply disturbed women...

[Anonymous]

There's a lot of Fornits vs. ST stuff going back and forth, but this isn't just some ordinary forum pissing contest. Your kids' futures are at stake. You send them to America for "emotional growth" and they might not have a future, or at least not any sort of future you'd want. For example, a lot of the group "therapy" done in those places (Aspen most definitely included) involves kids screaming at each other about all the bad things they've done. They hold no distinction for siblings, either. Visualize it for a while. This isn't help.

Anyone referred to you by Lon Woodbury is absolutely guaranteed to attempt to manipulate you into sending your kids away. This is how ed-cons make their money, after all, through referrals to hellholes. (A real medical consultant, as it is known in the medical field, has NOTHING to do with an "educational consultant"- not even close!). The words "conflict of interest" come up again. Don't take my word for it, talk to him a while. See where the conversation inevitably goes. (Just don't agree to anything!)

I say again: Get your kids on this forum and involved in the conversation. Read it out loud to them if you have to! Do they know that you're so desperate you're asking everyone and anyone on the Internet?

Good luck on finding that psychologist. I mean that. Private psychologists still do have phone numbers. Call one (or several!) of them up and ask the psychologist or the office staff what the best way to get a referral is. It's quite likely that they know tricks that no one here does.

Hell, you've got the whole phone book. I don't know if it costs anything to make a local call in the UK but whatever it is, it's worth it. It's full of psychologists and medical practicioners. There might even be professionals who can help navigate you through the NHS! (It wouldn't surprise me, given the size of the bureaucracy.) Somewhere in that phone book there is someone who knows what the fuck he's doing. Find him.

And for fuck's sake give your kids a reason to come home tonight.

[DR. Shithead]

Exhausted, I am DR. Shithead, Dean Of Admissions at Life By The Bay. I think we have the resources to help your youngsters. If you enroll one or more of your youngsters at our highly reputable facilty, we are prepared to give you your first two months of service at a 25% discount. Hurry, we can only extend this offer through 12/31/06.

[exhausted]

:-? Are you for real? I'm not taking your word for it just cos you offer a 25% discount, not even iof you offer it for free - not that I've taken what you say seriously, you're just trying to dig at me, you'l have to try harder, I've met & beaten bigger & better than you all my life

MGDP - Lon can refer me to someone in this country if he knows of anyone, there's no harm in that, I would obviously be there and no-one will manipulate me into sending my boys away, no program is going to help a child who has a disorder, disorders simply cannot be unlearnt - I had this conversation with our village cop tonight, he was going on about the boys learning to behave, some people just don't get it, they can't learn not to be ADHD anymore than another person can learn not to be blind......the fact I'm not that easily manipulated also helps

I'm going to say this one more time, this time I want you to read and digest - I AM NOT SENDING MY BOYS AWAY, NOT IN THIS COUNTRY, NOT IN ANY COUNTRY!!!

Now I've cleared that up, understand one thing, my boys not coming in at night is nothing to do with the way they are treated at home, they have a very good life here, it is due to the fact that they want their own way, they are behaving like brats, there are rules in this house such as going to bed at a reasonable time, getting up and going to school, NOT smoking in the house, not drinking in the house, not swearing at and attacking me physically & emmotionally, nothing abnormal, the same as any other household rules, my boys want to disregard these rules, therefore they stay out in order to do so, if you are suggesting I let them do all of the things just to keep them indoors and keep them happy, then you are seriously out of line.

I am not interested in wether you think Lon Woodbury is a psycho kiddy killer or wether you think Struggling Teens posters are the devil himself, I am there for support and I get it, I am here to find out what runs through the minds of teens who have or are still struggling, so i can get an insight as to how I can help my boys by gaining a better understanding of them, their feelings and their thoughts

The parents of teens who go through a rough time are victims as well, it is hard on us and we often don't cope very well, if the main parent can't get support and help, what good is she to the family she is supposed to be helping? Give me a break will you? I am trying so hard to work all of this out to help my kids work it out, it would be far easier for me to walk away and lead a stress free happy life believe me, but I choose not to, because I want to fight for them .... jees as if I don't get enough crap from the people who are meant to help in real life without getting it from those who you would have thought would understand the situation a little better.

[Covergaard]

I would not stand for this either, but I have an easier job, because I only have two children. Houserules are houserules. If people dont agree they can discuss them not break them.

It seems to me that you need reinforcements. Don't you have family that can cover for you?

I think you need to take the children on one for one. Solve one of the problems first - not all problems at the same time.

Could you not arrange for relatives to come and live in your house with the rest of the children and then take the worst out in the local wilderness first?

They have you outnumbered and I think that you need to isolate them one for one at a place where you can talk to them face to face without disturbance. (No phones, no TV). Perhaps a tent somewhere remote. Get some friends to drive you there and check in on you and the child onces a day.

In my country it is not a shame to ask for help within the family.

[exhausted]

No family, no support Covergaard, that's why I'm struggling so much

I'd love to be able to do what you sugggest as on the rare occasion I do have either of my boys to myself, we get on really well and have a good time, and you are so right, they have me outnumbered, they're rude and nasty, spiteful and abusive towards me because they have each other for back up, knowing I have no one to turn to

it has taken me 2 hours to stop both my boys being abusive towards me for saying it was time to get to bed, I have been called everything under the sun and as always accused of moaning at them for simply saying it was time for bed, ffs

[Anonymous]

Well you told the cop that they have ADHD and so aren't responsible for their behavior, yet you expect them to be responsible at home? I'm not getting this. Do you really understand what brain disorders are? I suspect that they literally cannot comprehend why they should listen to you.

And not only are they going to do something like this the next time you give them a reasonable request, they're going to do it the time after that, and the time after that! Forget the concepts of "fault" and "blame" for a bit. Step outside yourself for a bit and watch for patterns. You say something, your kids react a certain way. They get their hands on alcohol, they behave a certain way.

If there is a way around this problem, it's not going to come about by repeatedly bashing your heads into each other. It's just not.

Take a tape recorder next time you think something like this might happen, transcribe the exact words used, and let's find out exactly where everything goes to hell.

When did you tell them it was time to sleep...?

And the reason I keep insisting that you encourage them to be at your house at night is because they can easily get themselves killed.

[White Cracker Man]

I think she means that the cop does not understand  or believe in ADHD and was trying to explain to him that their behaviors would not stop just by telling him if they had ADHD,  Hence, the reason she wants a professional  medical  assessment.