Author Topic: My plan for life  (Read 2358 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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My plan for life
« Reply #15 on: July 04, 2006, 08:24:00 PM »
Help for these parents?  Fine:

Quit being self-absorbed.  Quit expecting your home to be calm and quiet and nice.  As long as your kid isn't physically assaulting someone else in the house, just be a goddam parent.

Quit working 60 hours a week and cut it back to 40.  If you can't do that at your job, change jobs.  If you can't do that in your field, change fields.  If you can't do that in your town, move.  That's hard?  Wah.  It's not all about you.  Parenting is a responsibility, deal with it.

Quit being a hammer on your kid and start being a sympathetic ear.

Quit looking at your kid's 18th birthday as, "Oh my god, he's all screwed up and we're running out of time!"  If you're thinking "we're running out of time" then no matter what your kid is doing, you're being a control freak and I want you to just let go. If the whole rest of society agreed with you that you should make decisions for your kid because he's just not ready to be grown, the laws would be set up that way, dumbass.  

The law lets your kid make his own decisions at 18 no matter what you want him to do because of parents like you.  Let go already.

If you think you've tried being a sympathetic ear to your kid and "it hasn't worked," then figure out how you're playing controlling mind games or guilt trips with your kid instead of being a genuinely sympathetic ear, and stop pulling that crap.

When you're a sympathetic ear to your teenager, you can say, sincerely, "Do you want advice on this, or would you rather not?"  That does more good than all the lectures in the whole world.

If you push a clingy toddler away, she wants to cling more.  If you hug and cuddle her to the point of just barely being overwhelming, she wants down.

If you lecture a teenager, the more you lecture, the less he listens.  If you're a sympathetic ear and you gradually finagle it so that he learns that to get your advice he's going to have to come talk with you about his problems and ask for it, suddenly he wants a whole lot more of your advice.

(There are a number of reasons why this works, but I won't go into them.)

It's shade-tree, mom-fu psychology, not rocket science.

Get your shit together and quit being attention seeking, a martyr, self-absorbed, and over-controlling.  Instead, start being a parent.

Works wonders.

Julie
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #16 on: July 04, 2006, 08:34:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-07-04 16:57:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Who are you fooling?  You are still that kid.  "


Bwahahahahaha

Julie
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #17 on: July 04, 2006, 09:27:00 PM »
Julie, you are really a piece of work. I hope you have a good therapist. You and your family are to be pitied.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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My plan for life
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2006, 09:26:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-07-04 18:27:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Julie, you are really a piece of work. I hope you have a good therapist. You and your family are to be pitied."


It's not about me, any more than it's about the Program Parents.  It's about the kids.

Julie
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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My plan for life
« Reply #19 on: July 05, 2006, 07:00:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-07-04 18:27:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Julie, you are really a piece of work. I hope you have a good therapist. You and your family are to be pitied."


If you need something to pity go find the RIP thread with the list of dead kids sent away to programs only to get murdered.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Nihilanthic

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My plan for life
« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2006, 02:25:00 AM »
WAH WAH WAH JULIE STOP MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY *DEFLECT* *ATTACK ON THE PERSON SPEAKING THE TRUTH* WAH YOURE INSENSITIVE IM GONNA GO AWAY BACK TO STRUGGLING TEENS WAH

 ::crybaby::  ::crybaby::  ::crybaby::  ::crybaby::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline MightyAardvark

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My plan for life
« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2006, 08:13:00 PM »
Wow death penalty, why don't you give me fifty thousand dollars a year to hide your kid from public view and assuage your guilt about your lack of compassion.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
see the children with their boredom and their vacant stares. God help us all if we\'re to blame for their unanswered prayers,

Billy Joel.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2006, 08:17:00 PM »
Hide him from public view and nurse my delicate, oh-so-important, emotions? All for a mere fifty thousand smackers a year?

Wow! What a deal, how could I possibly resist?!

How much for the hired thu.. err, escorts, again? Ah hell, I don't care. Just make sure he doesn't see me as he's dragged out in irons, 'k?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline MightyAardvark

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My plan for life
« Reply #23 on: July 06, 2006, 08:20:00 PM »
Deal. I'll even throw in a tearful reunion and fearful compliance for life. You're kid's gonna shit himself every time you sneeze it'll be great.
 :razz:




(I feel so filthy right now)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
see the children with their boredom and their vacant stares. God help us all if we\'re to blame for their unanswered prayers,

Billy Joel.

Offline Deborah

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My plan for life
« Reply #24 on: July 07, 2006, 09:58:00 AM »
Yeh, think about what you'd have to do to a kid to get that result. Bet ya couldn't do it MA, not even watch it done. And what kind of person could? Were these programmers raised without conscience?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hidden Lake Academy, after operating 12 years unlicensed will now be monitored by the state. Access information on the Federal Class Action lawsuit against HLA here: http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t=17700

Offline MightyAardvark

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My plan for life
« Reply #25 on: July 07, 2006, 10:32:00 AM »
You'd be amazed what people will tolerate when they assume exitus acta probat.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
see the children with their boredom and their vacant stares. God help us all if we\'re to blame for their unanswered prayers,

Billy Joel.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2007, 03:33:10 PM »
Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penalty""
First, I'm going to have a kid.



Then, I'm going to spend the first twelve years of his life treating him as my personal emotional target, ignoring any real wants and needs he may have, while projecting as much of myself onto him as I possibly can.



When he eventually gets sick of this treatment, I'm going to send him away to strict, religious people with no credentials to make him be want I want him to be.



Then I'm going to post on messageboards seeking sympathy for my pain.





How about it, Fornits? Does this sound like a good idea or what? There couldn't be anything wrong with it, could there?


you dont have a kid,but you spend all your free time sitting in public places watching them. where is that red flag icon?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline exhausted

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« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2007, 05:53:24 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Help for these parents?  Fine:



Quit being self-absorbed.  Quit expecting your home to be calm and quiet and nice.  As long as your kid isn't physically assaulting someone else in the house, just be a goddam parent.



Quit working 60 hours a week and cut it back to 40.  If you can't do that at your job, change jobs.  If you can't do that in your field, change fields.  If you can't do that in your town, move.  That's hard?  Wah.  It's not all about you.  Parenting is a responsibility, deal with it.



Quit being a hammer on your kid and start being a sympathetic ear.



Quit looking at your kid's 18th birthday as, "Oh my god, he's all screwed up and we're running out of time!"  If you're thinking "we're running out of time" then no matter what your kid is doing, you're being a control freak and I want you to just let go. If the whole rest of society agreed with you that you should make decisions for your kid because he's just not ready to be grown, the laws would be set up that way, dumbass.  



The law lets your kid make his own decisions at 18 no matter what you want him to do because of parents like you.  Let go already.



If you think you've tried being a sympathetic ear to your kid and "it hasn't worked," then figure out how you're playing controlling mind games or guilt trips with your kid instead of being a genuinely sympathetic ear, and stop pulling that crap.



When you're a sympathetic ear to your teenager, you can say, sincerely, "Do you want advice on this, or would you rather not?"  That does more good than all the lectures in the whole world.



If you push a clingy toddler away, she wants to cling more.  If you hug and cuddle her to the point of just barely being overwhelming, she wants down.



If you lecture a teenager, the more you lecture, the less he listens.  If you're a sympathetic ear and you gradually finagle it so that he learns that to get your advice he's going to have to come talk with you about his problems and ask for it, suddenly he wants a whole lot more of your advice.



(There are a number of reasons why this works, but I won't go into them.)



It's shade-tree, mom-fu psychology, not rocket science.



Get your shit together and quit being attention seeking, a martyr, self-absorbed, and over-controlling.  Instead, start being a parent.



Works wonders.



Julie
100% spot on...well said to every word.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »