Reply to 2dogs:
You say: "How can you blame your parents?"
Because they were in their forties, college-educated adults. I know a lot of people here think that the parents were just as brainwashed, but I have a hard time really believing that. If they were locked up along with us, sure. But they could see the control, they knew we sat in blue chairs all day long and never saw the sun, they knew we were led around by our belt loops, and they could have and ought to have done some research and discoverd the lawsuits that had already been brought against Straight.
You say: "All that horse-shit about sueing someone is so fucked-up"
I am curious, do you think that those who were in Straight and other such programs should not sue Mel Sembler and the other big Straight people? Do you really think that is "horse-shit"? Even if it never works, if it never happens, do you not think we would be just in suing them?
You say: "Besides how many times did YOU sit in your "phaserized" home and sell the program to your mom in the days after you joyously yelled "COMING HOME"?"
I toed the party line, so to speak, because I was terrified not to, as we all were. If at any point after first phase I put in for a withdraw, I would have been set back or terrorized in the intake room. I was playing their game, and I lost my own sense of the truth because I was too afraid to speak the truth, even to myself, for a long time.
You say: "You NEED someone to be hurt or give you money to be ok?"
I know I never said that I needed someone to be hurt for me to be ok. Never ever, go back and read my posts, did I say that? Don't say I said something that I didn't say. You are doing the same thing Clay did.
I will say that money would help with a lot of things. Of course it doesn't necessarily make things okay, but anyone who has been on skid row knows the power of money to help.
"I mean I felt the way you do back in the 80's after I graduated when the brainwashing was wearing off. Sorry you still feel the injustice so strongly around you. I wish I had better words than just giving you shit. I really would like to say the right thing to help but I'm not sure what to say to someone sitting where you're sitting so I'll have to settle for just giving you shit...sorry....Joey" "
Joey, I did feel your reply to me was harsh, and I am having to defend myself on a number fronts. I appreciate that you seem to want to help, and that you are sorry that you don't know any other way than by giving me shit.
I don't really think I need help here. I just kind of posted this topic originally because I felt tangled up about the whole thing. I agree with people who responded, albeit harshly, that I cannot waste my life waiting around for my mom to come through. It is a very old beef I have with her, from years and years of family patterns. That is mine to work out.
I disagree with the personal attacks, the rude mischaracterizations ("No cash for like a bird", among others), the sentiment that we are not owed anything, in short, the bizarre harshness.
I do find it interesting. It does remind me of both the way my family fights, which I am completely sick of, and it also reminds me of the rebuttal-by-intense-attack method we learned in Straight. Reading through the responses, I find myself flashing back to the building and the blue chairs. I am glad that I am not in person with several of the people who responded. I am glad this is a written forum so I can respond more rationally than I would be able to in person.
peace 2dogs,
bird
p.s. just curious about the origin of your moniker if you want to explain it