Out of respect to the lady who actually bothered to come on here with a screen name (for what it's worth) and actually engage in some dialogue, I will treat you with the respect that you deserve.
For starters, and this makes a huge difference in my mind, did you and your son agree on wilderness camp/boarding school, or did he go under some kind of coercive threat.
Second, as for alternate solutions, while this isn't available everywhere at the moment, there is what is called a systems of care model that brings in all of the agencies that work with "at-risk" youth (probation, mental health, social services, education) and gets them communicating with each other. Where along with input from the youth themselves, services are provided to prevent the youth from having to leave home. If it's an issue of family dynamics and the adults in the family are at wits end, they can offer respite care, where a social service agency will either take the youth on a weekend trip, or provide "babysitting service" while the family takes a trip of their own. It has proven extremely effective in preventing youth from having to leave the home.
So to answer your question, yes there are alternatives to placing youth in facilities against their will.
As for the "make up year", I believe that question has already been answered. I hope that this response answers some of your questions, and that you may have a more balanced view of wilderness programs/TBS's in the future.
Brian
Hiring escorts was one of the most "humane" things we ever did for our son. We had lost control. We could not possibly have gotten him to a program without him running from us and perhaps being lost to us forever. The compassionate, professional escorts we hired had an extremely difficult time transporting our son, but they never once gave up or abused him in any way, even when he nearly killed them and himself by grabbing the steering wheel of the car from the backseat. My son never questioned our use of escorts, even in his anger at being in wilderness and later at TBS. Today we are the proud parents of a student-athlete who is achieving his full potential.
We didn't talk to our son for 7 or 8 weeks. We received and wrote weekly letters which were faxed in both directions. I think it is better for the kids- and the parents- NOT to speak. Obviously the dialogue at home was not productive, and that dynamic can interfere with the therapeutic process. The therapist at wilderness knew when the time was right for a short phone call.
Do you not understand that for many families having the kid remain in the home is simply not an option? When the kid is violent and dangerous to himself and others and is truly ruining his or her life, a program is the only chance. Perhaps many of you were placed in bad programs. That does not mean that there are not good ones out there.
