I've prayed many a prayer for you. I know you only by your postings, and I appreciate your gentle spirit despite the rough times in your past. The God I worship and love offers a healing available to anyone who asks. I won't and don't even want to ever push my beliefs on anyone, but I will tell you that I would love the opportunity to share with you so many of the blessings that have come in my life out of otherwise terrible situations. My heart goes out to ALL of the survivors on this post. There is so much anger, rage, confusion, pain, hurt, lonliness, emptiness here. I am wholly and unconditionally in love with my husband, a Straight survivor. I know I could not give him the love he needs and deserves without the love of my precious God. As I am sure many of the spouses know, some behaviors and attitudes of survivors are not easily understood by someone with no experience of Straight. I do know that your feelings are totally vaild, and I think it is really a blessing that you are able to so freely express and try to understand them.
At any rate, I am finishing up a powerful study, and there were some words I wanted to share with you. I don't know if they will help you, but they sure spoke to me. Here it is...
Forgiveness is not just forgetting. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that the other person was right. Forgiveness does not mean that all the pain vanishes instantly. Forgiveness does not mean the other person controls you."
Refusing to forgive is like a wound that is gouged open every day. Each day the wound gets worse because you keep reopening it. Eventually, the wound gets infected. The pain of the wound grows in intensity. That is what it is like when you do not forgive. Bitterness sets in. You keep hurting even when the event that caused the pain is no longer happening.
Forgiveness, by contrast, is like a wound that was once deep but has been allowed to heal. This wound has been treated. Now it is just a scar. Each day you think less and less about the scar. You can look at it and remember something that was once very painful; but as you look at the scar, you know that the wound itself is only a memory. This is forgiveness."
Author: Tim Sledge
Workbook: "Making Peace With Your Past"
Unit 10,Day 2
This study has made a tremendous impact in the life of my family. As a matter of fact, my husband discovered the truth about Straight while I was in the middle of Unit 7, "Healing Painful Memories", subtopic, "Signs of 'Unremembered' Memories".
I, too, am an at-home mom, and I identify with you. (two beautiful and wonderful children 4 1/2 and 20 months) I appreciate the chance to share this with you and anyone else who might be reading. I hope there was nothing offensive or hurtful in my post, as I know boundaries are often overstepped in this forum. Peace to you and your family, Morli.
With God's love,
Powerful Attitude's Wife
::heart::
