Gah, I understand the living day to day thing. I lived my whole life just trying to get through the day and not making any real decisions. Not thinking about tomorrow, not planning. Just letting life happen to me, like I have nothing to say about it.
Being married to an ultra controlling husband (after avoiding entanglements post program, with few exceptions) with possible borderline, and losing everything --savings, etc-- and having to deal with him for the rest of my life b/c of children, really cured me of this lack of self detemination--but now I am starting from scratch in every respect. And the progress takes time. But it is progress. And its hard and its a struggle. And sometimes I feel helpless, but I know I'll feel stronger when I wake up.
Venting, writing, exercise, dietary changes, etc. all help. And melatonin. (And if you have a good partner, a good exhausting screw.)
