Author Topic: ONE DAY I WOKE UP  (Read 1443 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« on: July 30, 2006, 12:10:00 AM »
PAinful as awakening may be, it is preferable to being asleep to the brainwashing and abuse we were subjected to.  In order to heal, ya gotta know where you got hurt.  It's painful to realize these things, but that is a normal reaction---we were subjected to things that hurt us, so we feel pain.  Once you wake up to the deceptions, you are able to make "course corrections" and retake control of your mind and your life.  Question the dogma, talk about it with someone you trust, eliminate things in your life that tie you to the painful aspects of what you experienced.  Assert your independence of thought in your daily life.  Question authority.  Determine to enjoy your life as you see fit, live to your standards, no one else's.  Eat, drink, or smoke whatever you want, whenever you feel like it.  Listen to or read or watch whatever you feel like, fuck whatever consenting adults you wish to.  Wear clothes that you like, that are comfortable or that make you feel good. Talk behind people's backs if you feel like it (just remember that no one likes a no-good busybody gossip), and think about the "real" reasons for rules, and follow only the ones you respect.  Don't let anyone tell you what to do, ever again.  I am not saying to swan dive into a lake of gluttony, alcoholism, sexual promiscuity, and self-centeredness to the point of being an asshole, be sure to keep yourself alive, but live your life the way you want to.  Every day that passes is a day farther from that point in time, and anothe rday that you have survived.  The pain and confusion you are experiencing now is temporary and normal.  There is nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you do, it is a normal, healthy, and sane reaction to the abnormal, unhealthy, and plain ol' crazy situation we were in.  For now, just keep in mind that the feelings you are having are normal, and temporary.  The real trick, now that you see how we were "programmed" is not just de- but re-programming ourselves the way WE want to.  Some people say that yoga has been helpful to them, others swear by counseling.  Generally, having a supportive environment consisting of one or two people you respect and trust can be enough., make sure thast they are not judgemental and that they understand the magnitude of what happened, but don't allow yourself to be hung up on getting the approval of others.  If nothing else, maybe coming to Fornits and anonymously ranting can be a way of blowing off steam.  There's no one-size-fits-all remedy for Straight,  but there is hope and means to get beyond the anger, confusion, pain, and depression that so often come along with "waking up".  Living well is the best revenge, so keep yourself alive.  Reclaiming your mind is not only possible, it can also be a hell of a lot of fun.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2006, 04:58:38 PM »
Hey, I don't think it's a matter of " getting over it" as much as it's finding a way to live with it. The experience I mean.
I look at myself as the sum of all the experiences I've had in my life, the good the bad and the truly ugly. No one thing defines who I  am but they all have influenced me in their own ways.
I try and move forward every day, remembering yesterday, but not lingering there to long. Life is a journey for all of us...try and find a way to enjoy the trip.... :)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Gah

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2006, 09:58:34 PM »
When someone is done wrong, they can have some sorta justice with it, take it to court, make the person pay for what they have done. We expect to have equal justice so we can feel like the world looks at them just as low as how they looked at us.

We are still being labeled as drug adicts. People have a hard time really believing something so strange would happen in America. The story on how Straight inc. did things, takes to long, nobody wants to spend hours listening to things that sound imposible. Us victims have our own ways to get our own justice, some of us go and try to get the story out, and make Sembler a bad name, others go through trash and steal penis pumps to place on Ebay.

What makes it hard for me to carry on with my life is to know that people like Mr. Sembler is living a life full of riches. He has plenty of money to buy nice comfortable chairs and if for some reason it is not up to his standards he can snap his fingers and have it replaced.

I have no idea how to move past these thoughts in my head. I see things that remind me of Straight everyday. Here is a few things that remind me of Straight:

dixie cups
water fountains
a door missing in a bathroom stall
AA
the twelve steps
blue chairs
any chair that hooks onto another chair
twin beds with no frames


I could go on and on with the list. You know when we were kids, and we would complain, we would hear the story about our parents had to walk up hill in the snow? Well, we have the story of Straight. When my kids complain, My brain goes directly to: They dunno how bad it can get. Whats a bad hair day? How about not being able to do your hair at all? Kid comes in saying they have nothing nice to wear? How about I decide what they will wear? They complain about food. I think, what if you had no food. I dont say and do these things but I think them all the time. They stick into my head, I guess because we had it so much worse than they can ever emagine.  I was that child that wasnt allowed to: pick my clothes out, do my hair, take long hot showers, eat 3 times a day, get my beauty sleep, have friends, have holidays and birthdays, and poop by myself.

How do you guys just stop thinking these things?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2006, 10:22:41 PM »
We don't....but it's ok. Sorry, but that's the best I can tell you right now. Good post, btw.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2006, 10:31:40 PM »
I have to agree.  I don't think I've ever stopped thinking about when I see or hear or even smell certain things, I guess I've just learned to not let it get to me so much anymore.  I don't know how, I'm sorry.  I wish I could give you an easy answer.  I think it's different for all of us.  Hang in there.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Deprogrammed

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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2006, 12:54:02 PM »
Quote
When my kids complain, My brain goes directly to: They dunno how bad it can get.


May I recommend looking at this in reverse?

Every time you give your kids something with no reference to the way you had it, every time you teach your kids to think for themselves instead of eat some authority figure's bullshit, that's a blow against the mentality of the programmies; you're raising your kids effectively the opposite of the way they would have wanted it.

Focus on putting an end to bullshit like theirs in the future and you can  look back with resolve rather than anguish.
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Offline Anonymous

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2006, 01:04:32 PM »
A very interesting point, MGDP, I think it is true, at least from what I have seen of children of Survivors.  They tend to be hipo to the jive that program types are always spewing, and know that they have been affected by fallout from their parent's invlement wityh Straight.  I don't think any of the children of Survivors that I have met would send their kids to anyplace like Straight , nor would they buy into AA or other step-based organization.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Ganja

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2006, 07:32:37 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
A very interesting point, MGDP, I think it is true, at least from what I have seen of children of Survivors.  They tend to be hipo to the jive that program types are always spewing, and know that they have been affected by fallout from their parent's invlement wityh Straight.  I don't think any of the children of Survivors that I have met would send their kids to anyplace like Straight , nor would they buy into AA or other step-based organization.

I hope so. :tup:
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Offline Anonymous

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2006, 11:39:01 PM »
I use the memories as strength to draw from. BTW your list of things flashed images in my head too....  If I could survive that place, I can do dam near anything and put up with a tremendous amout of BS that anyone can dish out as I have survived far worse. As far as kids go, I teach them to think for themselves and be strong in their belief. Inner strength, mental toughness.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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ONE DAY I WOKE UP
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2006, 08:37:03 AM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
I use the memories as strength to draw from. BTW your list of things flashed images in my head too....  If I could survive that place, I can do dam near anything and put up with a tremendous amout of BS that anyone can dish out as I have survived far worse. As far as kids go, I teach them to think for themselves and be strong in their belief. Inner strength, mental toughness.


 :tup:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »