Holy shit that website is scary!!! I wonder which moronic editors decided to publish the press release as "news."
The "assess your child" quiz is friggin' hysterical and oh-so-scientific. If you answer even ONE question YES, you get a score of "moderate risk" which is supposed to tell you that your kid is not yet totally fucked up but you might want to consider residential lockdown anyway.
I can't believe these WWASP bastards can get away with not identifying themselves or their programs. You gotta love the description of the "Jamaica Residential Treatment Center."
They should include a Parent Assessment quiz with questions like:
1. Are you incapable of parenting your child?
2. If capable of parenting, are you tired of doing it and need a break?
3. Do you believe your child would have turned out better if you had done more spanking, punching, yelling, grounding, withholding food, and belittling when he or she was younger?
4. Does your child's behavior drive you to consume 5 or more ounces of alcohol each day? Note: one beer, one glass of wine or one mixed drink contains one ounce of alcohol.
5. Do you have at least $60,000 available in either home equity, retirement fund, or other liquid assets? If not, please speak to our very understanding loan officer.
Scoring:
If you answered yes to question 5, then your child is most likely an ideal candidate for one of our residential programs.
P.S. -- This post was written by a parent -- one who has an IQ greater than 50.
