On 2006-06-03 20:29:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-06-03 14:58:00, Anonymous wrote:
""A child never gives up her right to be with her family. If living with the family is indeed a 'right' then it cannot be taken from her without violating her rights."
A child who is dangerous to other members of the family, is stealing from the household and causing harm certainly does give up the right to live in the home. It's not a matter of family values- it's a matter of what is right for the ENTIRE family. "
This was the statement and the response to the statement. Perhaps you should learn to read- no one said anything about the essay."
Once again, the program supporter avoids the issue, so let me restate the issue.
1. The essay describes a young person's experience where she and other teenagers were treated in a very disturbing and unfair way.
2. The program supporter basically said that these teens deserve to be treated this way because they misbehaved.
3. I countered that misbehaving is not a valid reason to treat teens this way, nor is it a valid reason to have them removed from home.
4. The program supporter brings up the possibility that perhaps the teen poses a physical danger to other families and must be removed from the home.
5. I countered that the essay (and therefore my response) never addressed this particular situation and that programs, according to their own policy statements, do not accept violent teens, anyway. Therefore the point is moot, and so not relevant to the discussion.
6. The program supporter calls me illiterate.
BTW, one of my posts was as an anon, because I forgot to log in. I think everyone can figure out which one easily enough.
I want credit for my posts because I stand behind what I say. I believe in it. I would never hide under a bag and take pot shots at people who are informing me of horrible things that have happened to them.
Your 'blame the victim' mentality is out of date. They used to blame rape victims for getting raped saying because they dressed sexy, or had too much to drink, they were asking for it. You are using the same logic. You are blaming an abuse victim for what happened to them because their behavior does not fit your own standards (skipping school, taking drugs, having sex).
As an adult and a parent, I do not want my children to engage in these activities, but I do not think that they deserve to be abused for it.
I would not remove my child from my home for any of these things. I would do my best to work with my child to educate them on the dangers of this behavior. I would offer whatever support my child needed, including individual or family therapy. I would want to know if my behavior had anything to do with it and if so, I would want to correct and mend my relationship with my child. I would never cut them off. I would never stop talking to them. I would never send my own child to a prison camp to have other people, no matter what their qualifications are or how good willed they might be, force my child to submit to their will and adopt a set of imposed values. This is not how civilized people behave. I would not give up on my child, ever. Their is no 'exit plan' for me in my commitment to be his parent.
And, I would understand that all my efforts might not be successful because my child is an individual and must make his own decisions in life and find his own way.
