Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
I lost my virginity at Hyde.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-07 10:28:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I too am very sorry about your experience at Hyde. I first want to say that I was not thrilled reading all the sexual details of your incident, but I do believe you had a terrible experience losing your virginity to a boy who obviously took advantage of your vulnerability.
Worse than the boy who took advantage of you was the schools reaction. They obviously knew about the talk yet did nothing to protect you or try to stop all the gossip. Interesting how they will go to great lengths for some things, but in other cases where it is warranted to take action, they do nothing.
The only thing I can say to try to make you feel better, is you are not alone. Hyde has humiliated many kids who went through Hyde School and if nothing else I think it has made some of us stronger and more determined to be more sensitive to others in this world. We all learn from our mistakes and you will learn from yours. Unfortunately one of the lessons you had to learn is how cruel people can be even at a school where they teach "character."
The whole idea of this website is to tell our stories both good and bad about Hyde. I think your story shows us that Hyde School is not what they advertise themselves to be. I think it also shows that Hyde is accepting most anyone into their program.
You were humiliated by Hyde and the people who go there. So was I. We have to be grateful that we got out when we did. I can tell you from experience, life goes on. I haven't forgiven or forgot those who hurt me and my family. Guess I could forgive if I felt those responsible were sorry, but at Hyde they think they are G-d and know better than anyone. Don't forget this one important statement......HYDE IS NEVER WRONG!! At least they don't think they are, so in that regard Hyde School will never improve or change. "
--- End quote ---
Thank you; it feels good to know that I am not alone, though at the same time, it is very sad.
I only got out because I knew I had to get out. After a year of running away and cutting myself, I cut my neck and drank a bottle of Robotussin all in the hopes of getting out, getting out, getting out of Hyde at any cost... I got out, but not to the lockdown or mental hospital that Hyde wanted to see me in... I came home to my dad, who gave me the best therapy in the world: being a parent to me, allowing me to have a home again, and actually getting me into intense, frequent outpaitient psychotherapy. And I am so, so thankful. I really am. I know that if I had stayed there any longer, I only would have gotten worse...
You are totally right about Hyde's belief that Hyde is always right.
... I'm sorry to hear that you, too, were humiliated by Hyde,
but I am inspired by the fact that you seemed to have, for the most part, moved on, even though it isn't always possible to forgive entirely.
And I'm sorry if the graphic nature of my story offended you, or just flat-out grossed you out, or whatever. I was writing directly from memory and with raw emotion; I wasn't really thinking about what the people on this board might and might not need to know, which I apologize for. ::blushing::
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---And I'm sorry if the graphic nature of my story offended you,
--- End quote ---
To the contrary I found your story moving. Although I am not a woman, I felt like I could relate to what you were feeling.
Sue Doenym (not my real name)
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-09 14:57:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-05-07 10:28:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I too am very sorry about your experience at Hyde. I first want to say that I was not thrilled reading all the sexual details of your incident, but I do believe you had a terrible experience losing your virginity to a boy who obviously took advantage of your vulnerability.
Worse than the boy who took advantage of you was the schools reaction. They obviously knew about the talk yet did nothing to protect you or try to stop all the gossip. Interesting how they will go to great lengths for some things, but in other cases where it is warranted to take action, they do nothing.
The only thing I can say to try to make you feel better, is you are not alone. Hyde has humiliated many kids who went through Hyde School and if nothing else I think it has made some of us stronger and more determined to be more sensitive to others in this world. We all learn from our mistakes and you will learn from yours. Unfortunately one of the lessons you had to learn is how cruel people can be even at a school where they teach "character."
The whole idea of this website is to tell our stories both good and bad about Hyde. I think your story shows us that Hyde School is not what they advertise themselves to be. I think it also shows that Hyde is accepting most anyone into their program.
You were humiliated by Hyde and the people who go there. So was I. We have to be grateful that we got out when we did. I can tell you from experience, life goes on. I haven't forgiven or forgot those who hurt me and my family. Guess I could forgive if I felt those responsible were sorry, but at Hyde they think they are G-d and know better than anyone. Don't forget this one important statement......HYDE IS NEVER WRONG!! At least they don't think they are, so in that regard Hyde School will never improve or change. "
--- End quote ---
Thank you; it feels good to know that I am not alone, though at the same time, it is very sad.
I only got out because I knew I had to get out. After a year of running away and cutting myself, I cut my neck and drank a bottle of Robotussin all in the hopes of getting out, getting out, getting out of Hyde at any cost... I got out, but not to the lockdown or mental hospital that Hyde wanted to see me in... I came home to my dad, who gave me the best therapy in the world: being a parent to me, allowing me to have a home again, and actually getting me into intense, frequent outpaitient psychotherapy. And I am so, so thankful. I really am. I know that if I had stayed there any longer, I only would have gotten worse...
You are totally right about Hyde's belief that Hyde is always right.
... I'm sorry to hear that you, too, were humiliated by Hyde,
but I am inspired by the fact that you seemed to have, for the most part, moved on, even though it isn't always possible to forgive entirely.
And I'm sorry if the graphic nature of my story offended you, or just flat-out grossed you out, or whatever. I was writing directly from memory and with raw emotion; I wasn't really thinking about what the people on this board might and might not need to know, which I apologize for. ::blushing:: "
--- End quote ---
Hyde would not think I have moved on if I am posting on this board, but I don't really care what Hyde thinks. I will never be able to completely forget what Hyde did without some closure in the form of an apology. They have hurt so many people, both kids and parents in ways that other people outside of Hyde cannot understand. What upsets me the most is the fact that Hyde School never admits when they have wronged a person. They don't know what it is to be humble, even though they try to teach it. They don't know how to be compassionate, even though they ask this of their students. They don't know about honesty or humility even though the expectation is pushed on the students. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree is what comes to my mind, and Hyde ought to take responsibility for the tree that they represent. Students learn from Hyde who replace the parents while at school. If Hyde doesn't set a good example for the students then all the "character building" in the world is not going to change the students.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-09 14:41:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
I'm really sorry to hear about the way you were sexually abused at Hyde. This sounds like a terribly painful experience. It also sounds like you learned a lot from the experience, especially about why you were so vulnerable at the time. Your description of the Hyde student who abused you suggests that he is your classic predator. It sounds like he knew you were vulnerable and he took full advantage of that. It sounds like he used you and exploited you the way too many guys do, especially when they figure out that a girl has low self esteem. I hope you don't beat yourself up too much over this.
My child was also recently abused at Hyde. After that experience we decided to pull her out of Hyde. We got the strong impression that Hyde is very good at the blame game and is full of staff who are quick to point fingers at students and parents. We found a few Hyde staff who were understanding, but overall we were horrified by Hyde's insensitivity. During our Hyde experience we ended up meeting quite a few teachers and administrators who were astonishingly judgmental and not supportive. We later learned that many Hyde staff have major problems themselves, which probably explains why they hibernate at that school.
I'm curious to know what you think of Hyde. Does it work for most of the students there? What's good about Hyde? What is bad? Did you meet many Hyde students who came to the school with major mental health problems? Did they get the help they needed there?"
--- End quote ---
Thank you for your compassion, and I'm glad to hear that you pulled your daughter out.
What I think of Hyde? Wow, that's a hard question; I have, very very strong mixed feelings...
Okay...I can't accurately answer this question without first explaining the situation (or, at least, attempting to)...
I live with my my father because my mom died when I was ten years old. After she died, I didn't deal with it...at all. But post traumatic stress disorder (and what had become a pretty severe depression) finally made themselves apparent when
somewhere around age 12, just after starting 7th grade, I stopped going to school. I would get in horrible, sometimes violent fights with my dad, and I started to develop a pretty bad substance-problem which started with prescription Xanax.
Since I barely went to school, I failed seventh grade (before I was always on honor roll, in all gifted classes), and by the time eighth grade (or at least, what should have been eighth grade for me) rolled around...I wasn't attending school at all. As you probably know, it is illegal to drop out of school before the age of 16 (truancy). A particular guidance counselor at my middle school took interest in me, and, for whatever reason, decided to get involved...
Apparently the law in Florida states that when a minor is so young, it is the parent/gaurdian's responsibility to ensure that the kid is in school. Personally, I think that's pretty unfair; my situation was NOT my father's fault. He did everything he could to try to control me, to try to make me go, but I wouldn't. In any event, this guidance counselor believed he was neglecting me, and wanted to get HRS involved...
If I didn't have my father...
I would have ended up in foster care, and the foster care system here--at least from what I've heard of it, from what I understand--is, to put it lightly, hell. My father HAD to get me into SOME kind of school program, quick, or he was going to lose me... Like I'm sure most parents do, he did a lot of searching, consulted some people, blah blah...and decided on Hyde. I do believe that he wanted the best for me, and Hyde looked the best to him...but
he couldn't afford it... SO
he went to court to get the life-insurance money (left in my name from my mother dying),
to pay for Hyde.
That said...
Hyde put me back on grade level as a freshman. For that, I am extremely thankful.
HOWEVER
Did I get the help I needed? No. At that point in my life, (I can admit now that) I was a pretty disturbed individual. I had no desire to do anything. In the morning, I didn't want to wake up; I wanted to sleep forever, and I physically couldn't sleep at night without six or seven Xanax, minimum.
I needed serious psychological HELP. Instead, I recieved MORE psychological DAMAGE.
At Hyde, I picked up the habit of cutting myself, a practice I learned from fellow students. My reality became even more distorted. I was made to feel inferior. I was isolated, and, at the age of 14 (through 15) utterly ALONE, an object... I did not feel human. The Xanax was taken away cold turkey, with no kind of therapy at all. Food became my replacement for this; at mealtime I would eat as much as possible, because it was all I had to comfort myself, and then I was made to feel inferior/disgusting about my body (mostly BY STAFF); I eventually developed a mild eating-disorder which, chances are, would NOT have developed in a HEALTHIER environment.
Post-traumatic stress? Instead of recovering from that, or even reckognizing that I was suffering from it, I got traumatized again...cold bathroom floor and all the words that followed... Instead of healing, I got fresh wounds. Every day I felt trapped, hopeless, abandoned and misunderstood. Most of my peers (majority of which were rich, much older kids, coming from a totally different culture) looked down on me and abused me. Most of the staff (though one or two did genuilely care/make attempts at helping me without really knowing how) stopped ignoring me ONLY to chastise and humiliate. (My already-unhealthily-low self-esteem became almost non-existant.)
I do believe that (though many succesful Hyde students are simply good actors, caught in a sadomasohistic script)...Hyde does work for some people...the keyword there being "some". There ARE certainly a FEW kids who have actually been helped by it. But that isn't enough to justify the damage it has done (and continues to do) to others, to kids like me. It has taken me years of therapy just to understand and begin to get past this, to be able to write about it now.
"
--- End quote ---
I'm so sorry to hear about how you suffered at Hyde. Your story is so terribly familiar. It sounds like you had quite a traumatic past and went to Hyde with a plate full of emotional struggles. As in so many other students' situations, it sounds like Hyde completely mishandled and mistreated you. Apparently you needed a setting that would have been sensitive to your mental health struggles, family situation, self-destructive instincts, etc. Instead you got the kind of humiliation and degradation that Hyde is famous for. No wonder it took you years to recover from the Hyde trauma. It makes me so sad to read how Hyde contributed to your troubles. As you say, Hyde may help a small percentage of students, but it's clearly a disaster for others who need a very different kind of setting. Your comments on this board are helping other parents who are considering Hyde realize that this school is probably not right for their kids.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-09 18:06:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-05-09 14:57:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-05-07 10:28:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I too am very sorry about your experience at Hyde. I first want to say that I was not thrilled reading all the sexual details of your incident, but I do believe you had a terrible experience losing your virginity to a boy who obviously took advantage of your vulnerability.
Worse than the boy who took advantage of you was the schools reaction. They obviously knew about the talk yet did nothing to protect you or try to stop all the gossip. Interesting how they will go to great lengths for some things, but in other cases where it is warranted to take action, they do nothing.
The only thing I can say to try to make you feel better, is you are not alone. Hyde has humiliated many kids who went through Hyde School and if nothing else I think it has made some of us stronger and more determined to be more sensitive to others in this world. We all learn from our mistakes and you will learn from yours. Unfortunately one of the lessons you had to learn is how cruel people can be even at a school where they teach "character."
The whole idea of this website is to tell our stories both good and bad about Hyde. I think your story shows us that Hyde School is not what they advertise themselves to be. I think it also shows that Hyde is accepting most anyone into their program.
You were humiliated by Hyde and the people who go there. So was I. We have to be grateful that we got out when we did. I can tell you from experience, life goes on. I haven't forgiven or forgot those who hurt me and my family. Guess I could forgive if I felt those responsible were sorry, but at Hyde they think they are G-d and know better than anyone. Don't forget this one important statement......HYDE IS NEVER WRONG!! At least they don't think they are, so in that regard Hyde School will never improve or change. "
--- End quote ---
Thank you; it feels good to know that I am not alone, though at the same time, it is very sad.
I only got out because I knew I had to get out. After a year of running away and cutting myself, I cut my neck and drank a bottle of Robotussin all in the hopes of getting out, getting out, getting out of Hyde at any cost... I got out, but not to the lockdown or mental hospital that Hyde wanted to see me in... I came home to my dad, who gave me the best therapy in the world: being a parent to me, allowing me to have a home again, and actually getting me into intense, frequent outpaitient psychotherapy. And I am so, so thankful. I really am. I know that if I had stayed there any longer, I only would have gotten worse...
You are totally right about Hyde's belief that Hyde is always right.
... I'm sorry to hear that you, too, were humiliated by Hyde,
but I am inspired by the fact that you seemed to have, for the most part, moved on, even though it isn't always possible to forgive entirely.
And I'm sorry if the graphic nature of my story offended you, or just flat-out grossed you out, or whatever. I was writing directly from memory and with raw emotion; I wasn't really thinking about what the people on this board might and might not need to know, which I apologize for. ::blushing:: "
--- End quote ---
Hyde would not think I have moved on if I am posting on this board, but I don't really care what Hyde thinks. I will never be able to completely forget what Hyde did without some closure in the form of an apology. They have hurt so many people, both kids and parents in ways that other people outside of Hyde cannot understand. What upsets me the most is the fact that Hyde School never admits when they have wronged a person. They don't know what it is to be humble, even though they try to teach it. They don't know how to be compassionate, even though they ask this of their students. They don't know about honesty or humility even though the expectation is pushed on the students. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree is what comes to my mind, and Hyde ought to take responsibility for the tree that they represent. Students learn from Hyde who replace the parents while at school. If Hyde doesn't set a good example for the students then all the "character building" in the world is not going to change the students."
--- End quote ---
You've said it beautifully: Hyde is full of contradiction and hypocrisy. They preach one thing and behave differently. Hyde is so smooth and slick in the way it gets parents to fall for its nice sounding slogans about humility, truth, integrity and all that. It sounds great, but the truth is that many people at Hyde behave just the opposite. Thank you for setting the record straight.
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