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Offline Truth Searcher

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Emotional growth (?)
« on: April 30, 2006, 05:54:00 PM »
Not sure if this is the proper venue for this post/discussion, but for lack of knowing where else to post ... here goes.

I am just wondering what happens in terms of emotional growth for kids who are placed in a TBS for a lengthy period.  

My daughter seems wise beyond years in some respects.  And emotionally "behind the eight ball" in some other areas. (This is not a criticism mind you ... just an observation)

When she returned home, it was difficult for me to understand that she was/is a year older ... and I found/find myself almost perceiving her "frozen" at that age at which we committed her.  I mean we did in essence miss a whole year of her growth.  But, I'm wondering if she missed opportunities to "grow" emotionally by being out of the mainstream of life.

It is ironic that some of these facilities bear the name "EMOTIONAL GROWTH" boarding schools.  But, I am wondering if emotional growth is halted.

Would appreciate some feedback from those of you with some experience.
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Offline TheWho

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2006, 06:10:00 PM »
We experienced just the opposite.  I watched my daughter grow from a girl with the emotional maturity of a 7th grader to a woman who knew what she wanted (in a short period of time), knew she could get it with hard work and was able to articulate her feelings.  I was and still am amazed that we can talk on a mature level without walking away.  We don?t/didnt always agree on the decisions that she was making but we got to a point where we could talk about it and that was big for us.  She has continued to grow since she graduated.

The emotional growth part was a huge factor in her success.  I realize it doesn?t work for everyone, each child has there own issues and reasons for being there.  There were some down sides.

Hope this helps.
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Offline Troll Control

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2006, 06:19:00 PM »
Quote
The emotional growth part was a huge factor in her success.


This is called "growing up."  Sixteen year olds tend do this ya know.  They don't need a program for it. :roll:
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Offline TheWho

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2006, 06:27:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-30 15:19:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

The emotional growth part was a huge factor in her success.




This is called "growing up."  Sixteen year olds tend do this ya know.  They don't need a program for it. :roll: "

Yes, but she achieved several years of growth in just 16 months !! It wasnt a normal pace.
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Offline TheWho

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2006, 06:29:00 PM »
last one was mine
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Offline Anonymous

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2006, 06:39:00 PM »
I agree that there can be tremendous emotional growth during the time in a program.  It depends on the program and the teen's particular issues, of course. The better programs are designed to help the teen's self-esteem, which leads to much emotional growth. The teen should feel safe and able to show their true selves.  This is what emotional growth is all about. My kid showed a maturity I could not have even imagined, as well as a consideration for others which had been missing pre-program.  Any slowing of social skills due to the lack of dating or romantic relationships can be easily made up.
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Offline Anonymous

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2006, 06:49:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-30 15:10:00, TheWho wrote:

"We experienced just the opposite.  I watched my daughter grow from a girl with the emotional maturity of a 7th grader to a woman who knew what she wanted (in a short period of time), knew she could get it with hard work and was able to articulate her feelings.  I was and still am amazed that we can talk on a mature level without walking away.  We don?t/didnt always agree on the decisions that she was making but we got to a point where we could talk about it and that was big for us.  She has continued to grow since she graduated.



The emotional growth part was a huge factor in her success.  I realize it doesn?t work for everyone, each child has there own issues and reasons for being there.  There were some down sides.



Hope this helps.

"


Bullshit, you're trolling again.

Next.
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Offline Anonymous

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2006, 06:53:00 PM »
Wouldn't you fucking think that if they really wanted to help the struggling teens, they'd invite the teens themselves to post there?

*laughs at the prospect of them actually doing that*
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Offline TheWho

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2006, 06:55:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-30 15:39:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I agree that there can be tremendous emotional growth during the time in a program.  It depends on the program and the teen's particular issues, of course. The better programs are designed to help the teen's self-esteem, which leads to much emotional growth. The teen should feel safe and able to show their true selves.  This is what emotional growth is all about. My kid showed a maturity I could not have even imagined, as well as a consideration for others which had been missing pre-program.  Any slowing of social skills due to the lack of dating or romantic relationships can be easily made up."


Interesting,  My daughters consideration for others sort of stalled or maybe slipped back maybe because she was so focused on herself and blossoming ,her social skills actually improved while there, this was a tough area for her.  Things gradually balanced out after she came home, though.
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Offline AtomicAnt

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #9 on: May 01, 2006, 10:17:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-30 15:27:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-04-30 15:19:00, Anonymous wrote:


"
Quote


The emotional growth part was a huge factor in her success.







This is called "growing up."  Sixteen year olds tend do this ya know.  They don't need a program for it. :roll: "


Yes, but she achieved several years of growth in just 16 months !! It wasnt a normal pace."


16 months is a very long time when considering the age of a teen. In 16 months, a normal teenage boy can grow 6 to 7 inches taller and double his weight. Changes to the brain and maturity are just as great. Great change in 16 months is normal. 16 months in the life of a teen and you literally have a whole new person.
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Offline Nihilanthic

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #10 on: May 01, 2006, 11:42:00 PM »
Forced 16 month lockin, nonconsentual, isolated 'treatment' is also very damaging and abusive.
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Offline TheWho

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2006, 12:14:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-05-01 19:17:00, AtomicAnt wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-04-30 15:27:00, Anonymous wrote:


"
Quote


On 2006-04-30 15:19:00, Anonymous wrote:



"
Quote



The emotional growth part was a huge factor in her success.










This is called "growing up."  Sixteen year olds tend do this ya know.  They don't need a program for it. :roll: "




Yes, but she achieved several years of growth in just 16 months !! It wasnt a normal pace."




16 months is a very long time when considering the age of a teen. In 16 months, a normal teenage boy can grow 6 to 7 inches taller and double his weight. Changes to the brain and maturity are just as great. Great change in 16 months is normal. 16 months in the life of a teen and you literally have a whole new person."


Sure,I have seen that, but in this case she went from a maturity of a 7th grader to a 12th grader in a little over a year, the safe environment just allowed her to grow.
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Offline Anonymous

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2006, 12:18:00 AM »
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Offline Anonymous

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Emotional growth (?)
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2006, 05:46:00 AM »
Sometimes you have to lock them up to keep them alive long enough to be able to grow up.
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