If you are here to learn more about the infamous Fornits troll "KareninDallas" (KiD) you have come to the right place! These posts were copied from another forum where Karen posts under the name as KarenInDallas. No quote tags because it makes it harder to read. Enjoy!
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I went to large state U (Indiana), which was out of state for me. I chose it because I was a music major. Well, turned out the music school was too good for MY level of talent! I wound up majoring in business and going to a top law school (Chicago). In retrospect, I did not have enough "like minded peers" at Indiana. I enjoyed many things about my years there, but academically I would have been happier and more challenged at a smaller university or LAC. I did develop a passion for college basketball, which, believe it or not, has served me very well in the business world. (Lesson to all you smart kids out there- don't underestimate things like that.)
My problem is as I tour colleges with kid #2, I love them all. I was the same way with kid #1. All in all, Stanford would be my dream school because of the top academics, athletics, climate and size of the school. I couldn't have gotten in back then, of course.
Karen
The kids who seemed to do the best, both socially and academically, at the boarding schools with which I have personal experience, are the kids who are pretty good at managing themselves. The kids have to be able to get themselves out of bed, manage their time, maintain some semblance of a nutrious diet etc. My daughter said she would NOT have wanted to spend more than the 2 years she did (junior and senior) at her boarding school. She loved the experience and it has served her well, but the communities are not very big, and it can all wear thin. (Especially true in the case of her school, which was populated by a bunch of temperamental musicians, dancers and actors!) Karen
Blair is about 75 minutes from New York City, but a lot of the boarders live in NYC or in that northern NJ area. Blair is at the edge of the Poconos near the Delaware Water Gap. I know Hun, Peddie and all the MAPL schools are wonderful.
One interesting point- our educational consultant recommended NOT entering Choate, Exeter et al as a junior. She said you are competing too much against your own classmates for the attention of the guidance counselors and those classmates have been there a couple more years and the faculty knows them a lot better. If you enter as a freshman, it's a whole different story, of course.
My son actually had to drop back and do another junior year to enter Blair. They wanted him for 2 years. So-we get to pay for yet another year of education. It has turned out to be a good thing for him. He is very mature since he is a year older than many of his classmates, and it really benefits him athletically. There were plenty of interesting courses for him to take. Blair is a wrestling powerhouse, and my son's roommate (also a new junior this year) was the national champion in his weight class last year. It is neat to see these dedicated athletes who sacrifice a lot of personal time and even vacations to train at such an elite level. K.
I have never regretted sending my kids to boarding school. My daughter went as a junior so that she could have specialized training in music. She needed to be with "like-minded peers", as we say on this board. I missed her, but it was the right thing for her. I was able to nurture her from afar and by the time she was 16 there wasn't a lot of day to day nurturing going on in our home anyway!
Our public school system is awful, and for various reasons (some his fault and some not) our son exhausted the private school options. The "rich kid" mentality was actually stronger here in our private day schools than it was in his boarding school. He seemed to take "nurturing" better from his advisors at the boarding school than he did from us! The athletic opportunities for him were much better at the boarding school he now attends. I love it so much- I wish I could be there! I miss him and I miss being more involved in "high school life", but this is the way things have worked out for our family.
It IS a very individual decision. Most of the boarding parents I have met are deeply involved with their kids and very supportive of the school.
Karen
Dallas, TX (transplant from the NE many years ago)
S in boarding school in NE
Have any of you had to deal with some major "blips" in your educational path? My son got kicked out of a disastrous boarding school in March of his soph year do to a combination of factors- some his issues, some the school's. None of the issues were academic. He spent a year in a very structured boarding school with good academics and a strong support system and was admitted to a top prep boarding school in the NE where he is doing a 2nd junior year and will do a senior year. His academics were strong throughout all this upheaval. His emotional growth has been impressive, and he is regarded as a mature young man and a strong contributor to his current school. He is also likely to be a recruited runner which he will use to help him get an edge for some top schools. Everyone on this board seems so exceptional- any situations similar to ours? Thanks. Karen
Now THERE's a good question..... In the modern corporate environment, no one is assured of continued employment. Companies are bought and sold, and the legal staffs can change just as the rest of the executive team can. A smart, young lawyer usually doesn't have much trouble finding employment. It gets a little harder for smart OLD lawyers! An in-house counsel develops areas of expertise, just as a lawyer in a firm does. Some companies divide the legal department up by functional areas- i.e labor, contracts, acquisitions etc. My current company just has me and a paralegal. We outsource a lot. Some companies need a bunch of patent lawyers. If you have expertise in engineering and a law degree, there is never a problem getting a job as a patent lawyer.
There are a number of in-house positions available most of the time. Seems like a lot of the ads want 3-5 years experience. I have been practicing a long time, but my advice to a new law grad would be to get two or three years experience in a law firm and then go in-house. That is NOT what I did. I went in-house right out of law school, which was very unusual "back in the day". Check out monster.com to get some idea of what law-jobs are out there. In-house jobs don't pay as much, by the way (unless you are General Counsel of IBM or something). Karen
I am General Counsel for a corporation. I consider myself an "in-house" lawyer. In fact, I HATE corporate practice, which I consider to be SEC, corporate governance and maybe mergers and acquisitions. I handle employment issues, litigation, contracts, and whatever else comes up. I think an in-house lawyer is the "country doctor" of the legal world. You have to know enough about every area of law to know when to call in the specialists.
I was a business (marketing) major with a minor in economics. I went to a large state university undergrad and a top 3 law school. Everything I needed to know to do my job- and I have always worked in-house- I managed to pick up somewhere along the way!
Karen
My son is in a prep school in NJ (1st year junior) and also attended a boarding school in Texas. The NJ school is perfect for him. I am a big proponent of boarding schools for kids who are independent and can manage themselves fairly well. While the environment is somewhat structured, there is a lot of responsibility placed on the students to get themselves to class, do their homework, take care of their laundry etc. Whenever we visit our son, I am grateful that he has the opportunity to attend this school- for its academics, athletics and nurturing faculty and staff. My daugher attended a boarding school in Michigan and had an equally great experience. Good luck and let us know where you wind up. Karen
I wouldn't worry about NEXT summer now! Let him go to camp this summer. He will be growing and changing a lot in the next year- he may have a whole different agenda by next fall. Several of the bright, talented 9th graders around here wound up getting kicked out of school for drinking in 10th grade. Not that your son will do that, but you are getting way ahead of yourself.
If going to camp instead of to an academic or music program hurts his college chances 3 years from now, we all need to re-evaluate things. While I love the information on this board, I think it is easy to lose sight of reality. These are KIDS!
Everyone has different likes and dislikes (otherwise our kids would all want to go to the same school!), but I don't care for Waco, Texas. That could be because it isn't too far from home, but I view it as a place for people from Dallas and Austin to make a gas stop. There are many kids at Baylor who love it. I find the administration and the Baptist tradition too conservative for my tastes, and I am conservative anyway! I am not impressed with the handling of the basketball fiasco last year (the murder etc.) My son has a friend there now (freshman) and she is doing OK, but is not thrilled with Baylor. These are just my views, and there are lots of Texans and others who think Baylor is wonderful. My daughter is at Rice (sophomore) and we think Rice is perfect! Son (hs junior) will only consider UT of all the Texas schools, but will probably wind up staying in the east where he goes to boarding school. Hope this helps a little.
Given your daughter's obviously strong academic record, I would certainly favor UT over Baylor, unless the size is a problem. That said, the main reason to look further is if she wanted to see what a small LAC "felt like" or a smaller highly selective university. You can't visit every school in the country, and there is not just ONE right fit. UT is in a class by itself in many ways, so it is easy to contrast it with almost anything else! Perhaps a visit to an Ivy or one of the strong LACs closer to home? Then she can do a few more applications if she wants and worry about visiting if and when she is accepted in the spring. Karen
You still haven't heard from Plan II, right? That would be sufficient challenge. As a parent, I think I would encourage your daughter to at least apply to one or two of the very selective schools, so that when the spring comes she wll have a choice. A lot can happen to her thinking between now and then. Karen
One more question- in my son's case, the explanation of what happened and the demonstration of what he learned and how he has moved forward will take more than a paragraph. In fact, it winds up being 2 pages and anything less really hurts the discussion. Will this lengthy explanation (which really amounts to a very effective essay) be considered a negative? I know it is a little bit of a risk, but giving a less than complete explanation seems more risky. Thanks. Karen
Sounds like there are some runners posting in this thread. Can someone give me an idea of what male and female CC and mile times Princeton looks for in recruiting? Assuming strong academics, too, of course. Thanks a lot. Karen
I'm fairly new- does anyone know if there is a thread on the old board about comparison of PSAT scores to eventual SAT scores? Are PSAT scores really a good predictor? Karen
We live in Texas but my son goes to boarding school in the NE. He will not be counted in the automatic 10% for Texas residents, even if he is 10% at his boarding school (which doesn't rank anyway). However, I suspect his scores/grades will be sufficient, coupled with in-state status, for him to be admitted. We can't count on it as a safety, though. Both Texas and A&M are NOT safety schools for Texans anymore. Many are turning to CU-Boulder as a safety. Karen
Thanks so much for all the comments and advice. My son's issue was not drugs or weapons, so I feel better about that. I really think the situation can be used to his advantage, but there is no doubt that it will turn off a school or two. The expulsion happened in March '03 and high school graduation will be in May '06. The NE prep school (and a few others) were willing to admit him, so hopefully the colleges will be..... Never easy! Karen
Have any of you had to deal with some major "blips" in your educational path? My son got kicked out of a disastrous boarding school in March of his soph year do to a combination of factors- some his issues, some the school's. None of the issues were academic. He spent a year in a very structured boarding school with good academics and a strong support system and was admitted to a top prep boarding school in the NE where he is doing a 2nd junior year and will do a senior year. His academics were strong throughout all this upheaval. His emotional growth has been impressive, and he is regarded as a mature young man and a strong contributor to his current school. He is also likely to be a recruited runner which he will use to help him get an edge for some top schools. Everyone on this board seems so exceptional- any situations similar to ours? Thanks. Karen
If you are considering a PG year at a prep school, there are a lot of excellent programs. The PG kids at my son's boarding school are using the year to mature academically and/or athletically. They are an important part of the school community and seem to love the PG program. I did not know until my son started at this school this fall(he is a junior) what a big deal the PG programs are. I think it is a great idea for a younger student or any student who wants to shore up academics or sports. The negative is that you get to pay for it! Karen
Webb is a strong prep school but not as well-known as the NE schools. Educational consultants are very high on it. It is a fairly small school and has a good community. It is highly regarded and will be viewed favorably by an admissions committee.
I know a kid who got kicked out of his prep boarding school a week before graduation last year. His grades weren't so hot, either. He had been admitted to a good LAC (not one of the very top ones) for a January 2005 matriculation. He had completed his requirements for high school, but he had to write to the college explaining that he would not have a diploma until he completed a year of college (the prep school's ruling) and that he had been kicked out. They, miraculously, did not revoke his acceptance and he starts next week!
We recently received grades, teacher comments and an advisor letter for my son from his boarding school. I am so grateful that we have found this wonderful environment for our son to learn and pursue his athletics. He is a junior, and this is his first year at this particular school. The mentoring he is getting from his advisor and other faculty members, the bond he has formed with his roommate (also a talented athlete and student) and the exposure to kids from varied backgrounds is worth the financial sacrifice our family is making. There are some factors unique to our son which led us in this direction (including some bridges he managed to burn.....). However, both the boarding school (Interlochen) which my daughter attended for two years and my son's school are filled with courteous kids who appreciate what they are being given. I have attended athletic events and other school functions this past semester whenever possible (we are in Texas, son is on east coast) and the kids we have met are wonderful. It is certainly the right thing for us!
Karn
Thanks, Northstarmom, that's what we're hoping. His scores should be well above 1300, based on the practice test he did at the beginning of the tutoring. I just get nervous seeing all these incredible statistics on this board and seeing so many kids STILL get deferred and rejected. It really is a lottery! K.
That's the point- he is willing to go above and beyond as far as his class work. He is interested and challenged and has always gotten good grades. He started a Friday night philosophy group at his boarding school. I guess I don't see where not wanting to prep for a standardized test makes him unfit for an Ivy. He needs "like minded peers" around him. This doesn't have to happen at an Ivy, and there are other schools on his list. Not wanting to prep just means he might not get in! But-if he runs fast enough he just might.......
On the SAT prep issue......my son, a hs junior, aspires to some highly selective schools. He is an athlete, and a lot will depend on where he is recruited. His SATs are not that strong compared to what I see on these boards. His school has the juniors take the January SAT (even though it is changing). He did 9 hours of private tutoring over this break, and felt it was helpful. However, he refused to take the practice SAT at the end- the one that shows how much you "improved" from the tutoring. He said he is through prepping. He hates the SAT and hates prepping. He would rather spend his time reading philosophy and good literature. His advisor at school, thinks the whole SAT thing is out of hand. He said no number on a test can capture the intellectual ability and curiousity of someone like my son. I felt that he should do a LOT more prep so that score wouldn't be such a weakness in his application. BUT-it is HIS college application process and not mine! So-maybe he will improve by May just from taking the test. He goes to a good academic boarding school (not one of the "top five") and he says the stories I tell him about the prep kids on this board do are absurd. His classmates are simply not doing this. Somehow they are getting into many fine colleges, including the Ivys. I just don't want him to miss out on a school he wants because he couldn't stand to prep for SAT!
K.
After many years of practicing law, I can tell you that there is no "best" law school. I graduated from Chicago, and it STILL opens doors for me. However, living here in Texas, UT is really the "better" law school. The network that the grads have formed and the respect for the degree eclipses the more prestigious schools. That is something to consider. Where do you want to live and practice? In Philadelphia, you can't beat Penn! In Michigan, go for Michigan!
I also work in house as General Counsel for a corporation. We refer to ourselves as the "country doctors" of the legal profession. We have to know a little bit about everything so that we know enough to call in the specialists when we need to. I have always worked in house- when I got out of law school back in the middle ages, this was not as common as it is now. I had an undergraduate business degree and really wanted to be a contributor to an ongoing business and feel like a part of management. This can occur as a private lawyer at a firm, but I wanted to be a company-person. Generally, the pay isn't as good but the hours aren't quite as long as the partner-track. It is not a piece of cake, however. With corporate greed what it has become, a General Counsel's job can be pretty stressful.
What I like is the variety of issues I handle every single day. I never know what is going to come up from one day to the next. I might have an employee with porn on his computer, a customer complaint, a class action lawsuit filed against us, a lease to review, etc. What I DON'T like is the way some companies view their legal departments. Sometimes the lawyers are well-respected and considered an integral part of any decision. At other companies the legal department is viewed as a pain in the a-- and an obstacle to getting business done.
My advice to someone coming out of law school now would be to spend at least a few years at a good firm, even if you want to go in house later on. I often wish I had some law firm experience. I just didn't want to do it!
Karen
Check out the PG programs at Blair, Hill, Lawrenceville, Cushing, Williston etc. I know several PGs in the northeast. Some kids go for athletics- get a year of growing and polishing up the academics. The PGs fit in well and are treated like seniors
I appreciate all the posts and the experiences shared. I, too, will second that there are more than a FEW great boarding schools. We did quite an extensive search for S, and found many, many fantastic schools- big, small, rural, city, single-sex, etc. There are a lot of kids interested in this experience, and, while, there are some which are not acceptable, there are many, many which provide top academics, nurturing and many valuable experiences. Karen
I was looking at a music business major "back in the day". The strongest program was at University of Miami. I briefly checked their website just now and it looks like they still have a lot of options for combining music with various business disciplines. K.
I don't think you "decide" the way you are suggesting. Circumstances change and kids change. If you asked me when my D was 14 if I would send her to boarding school at 16, I would have told you "No Way". But when she was unhappy in her elite private day school at the end of her sophomore year and it was suggested to us that we look at Interlochen for her, I was open to the idea. It took visiting the school and seeing that there was a totally different option for her- one that we had never considered.
To tell you the truth, it is not all that easy having my son home for Christmas break! I worry every time he is out with the car. When he is away at school he isn't driving and his day seems very orderly. I am glad to see him, of course, but I seem to sleep a little better when he is at school.
When you send a kid to boarding school, you aren't banishing them from your household. They are home all summer (or a lot of the summer) and the breaks tend to be longer than what public schools have. You can go visit and attend parents' weekend, athletic events etc. I talk to my son almost every day (probably more than he would like) and we chat online. He is not the type of kid who would sit by our side every evening if he were home.
It is just one option and one choice.
Karen
I think there is some stereotyping going on here. There are all kinds of boarding schools. While the top 5 are wonderful schools, there are many more with very different atmospheres. At St. Stephen's in Austin, the kids wear flip flops to class and never touch a tie.
At my son's current school, I get a feeling of real nurturing and passion for the education and emotional growth of the kids
Karen
I have never regretted sending my kids to boarding school. My daughter went as a junior so that she could have specialized training in music. She needed to be with "like-minded peers", as we say on this board. I missed her, but it was the right thing for her. I was able to nurture her from afar and by the time she was 16 there wasn't a lot of day to day nurturing going on in our home anyway!
Our public school system is awful, and for various reasons (some his fault and some not) our son exhausted the private school options. The "rich kid" mentality was actually stronger here in our private day schools than it was in his boarding school. He seemed to take "nurturing" better from his advisors at the boarding school than he did from us! The athletic opportunities for him were much better at the boarding school he now attends. I love it so much- I wish I could be there! I miss him and I miss being more involved in "high school life", but this is the way things have worked out for our family.
It IS a very individual decision. Most of the boarding parents I have met are deeply involved with their kids and very supportive of the school.
Karen
At the "Welcome" meeting for parents at the beginning of my son's school year this past September the headmaster said that the composition of the student body at most boarding schools has changed. He said it is almost entirely kids who WANT to be there. In the past there were many more of what you described- kids who had been sent away or whose parents made the decision. With the social and substance abuse issues in many of even our best public schools, many kids ask for a change in environment. There are definitely some of the same problems at boarding schools- there were many instances of drug and alcohol abuse at one of my son's previous boarding schools. If you go to visit some schools, maybe you will come upon one that makes you feel so comfortable you would turn your kid over to them in a heartbeat. I honestly feel that where my son is now provides so much that he wouldn't get here at home. He is enjoying some weekend excursions into New York City, his athletic coaching and competition is beyond what he has ever had, and he has the utmost respect for every one of his teachers (something that has not been the case in the past). It really is a different world and I do miss him. His coach is also his advisor and history teacher, and emails me frequently to report on successes and news. My son gets up in the morning and runs to his physics teacher's house. The teacher drives him back to campus after stopping at the market so my son can buy a Wall Street Journal. Something about that strikes me as really neat. Karen
The kids who seemed to do the best, both socially and academically, at the boarding schools with which I have personal experience, are the kids who are pretty good at managing themselves. The kids have to be able to get themselves out of bed, manage their time, maintain some semblance of a nutrious diet etc. My daughter said she would NOT have wanted to spend more than the 2 years she did (junior and senior) at her boarding school. She loved the experience and it has served her well, but the communities are not very big, and it can all wear thin. (Especially true in the case of her school, which was populated by a bunch of temperamental musicians, dancers and actors!) Karen
I sent you a PM. I have a lot of experience with boarding schools- mostly good. Important to watch for ration of day to boarding students. You don't have to have 100% boarding, but I wanted at least 70%. Otherwise, the campus empties out on weekends and the community feel is missing.
Karen
I went to large state U (Indiana), which was out of state for me. I chose it because I was a music major. Well, turned out the music school was too good for MY level of talent! I wound up majoring in business and going to a top law school (Chicago). In retrospect, I did not have enough "like minded peers" at Indiana. I enjoyed many things about my years there, but academically I would have been happier and more challenged at a smaller university or LAC. I did develop a passion for college basketball, which, believe it or not, has served me very well in the business world. (Lesson to all you smart kids out there- don't underestimate things like that.)
My problem is as I tour colleges with kid #2, I love them all. I was the same way with kid #1. All in all, Stanford would be my dream school because of the top academics, athletics, climate and size of the school. I couldn't have gotten in back then, of course.
Karen
Dallas, TX (transplant from the NE many years ago)
S in boarding school in NE
If the ticket will be completely dismissed, I would not mention it. (a lawyer speaking) Karen
What an interesting question! I think a lot of things contributed to the academic ambitions of my kids (D soph at Rice, S hs junior at boarding school). My husband and I used a lot of financial resources to make sure the kids had the best possible education. Our public schools are very poor, so the kids went to private school and then boarding school. My husband has a PhD from large state university and my law degree is from a top 3 school (many years ago.....). Due to the personality traits that the kids inherited, we didn't have to do much to encourage good academic performance. If anything, we tried to tone things down since the schools seem to get outrageously competitive. We wanted out kids to have a life, and if that meant not attending an Ivy, that was fine. Turns out D wouldn't have touched an Ivy, but S has his sights on a few (hopefully, as a recruited athlete). Since I have discovered this board, I have become obsessed, and my new goal is to keep my obsessing AWAY from my son, who, fortunately, is tucked away in NJ at boarding school. I just want to make it clear to him that there is little room for error in the process- it will take a combination of top grades, top SATs, essays, recs etc. All his error occurred in 10th grade when he got to depart from a school...... I also want to make sure that he understands that there are LOTS of great schools and that he will wind up somewhere perfect for him. When we went through this process with D, I realized that the honors programs at the state universities were awesome and that her options were not limited to LACs. My son's boarding school strongly believes that the kids should be allowed to enjoy their high school experience and not be tortured with college admission issues until February junior year at the earliest. I'm wondering how I got through the process with my D with so little stressing. Karen
I know there is a lot of drinking at Rice. My D is a sophomore and does drink, but has always been responsible about alcohol. Rice has a liberal alcohol policy (which I support) which tends to keep the kids (and the alcohol) in the dorms and off the streets. I have to say, back "in the day" when I was at Large State University, drinking was a huge part of our life, too. It IS a concern, especially with the recent deaths (CU-Boulder) and abuses. Karen
A number of the applications ask specifically about suspensions or expulsions. We face this problem with my son (current hs junior). I was told that you should be completely honest because the information is likely to pop up somehow. If the incidents were minor, the adcoms don't really care. They are looking for drug-related offenses, academic dishonesty or violence.