I read this on another thread regarding a christian academy, and I think it speaks to how shame, power and control can corrupt these schools and treatment centers. She writes so well; I wish her the best:
"Hey, all. I went to VCA in year 2002. I am now 18. My name Is Rachel Haygood. I am sure you remember if you went the same year I did. I was odd, that's for sure. Hehe.
I would like to tell about a choice few of my experiences at Victory Christian Academy.
My first day at VCA, my father had paid my uncle and cousin I had never met to pick me up from a mental facility in Orlando, Fl and transport me to VCA. I was a cutter, had severe emotional issues from past abuse at home and at school. I was also suicidal. I had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder over 6 times by different doctors. I was on paxil at the time. I was also ADD, and had a hard time in school. I had always been very intelligent and creative child, but needed a different approach on learning considering I learn differently from most people.
My Uncle and cousin sat on either side of me in their truck the entire way to Jay, Fl, where the school was located. Their doors were locked at all times, and when we pulled over to a rest stop they waited outside the bathroom for me. You would have thought they were taking me to prison. I didn't know where I was going. My mom had sent me a letter telling me they had found a nice, christian place for me to live with people who would get me on track. I did't know what to think. When i arrived at VCA, my uncle hugged me and left me with these people. The grounds were nice and well manicured. There was a big house-looking building.There were flowers. Little did I know it was the girls who were forced to keep up the entire place like slaves. The people there stared at me. Some of the younger girls seemed to look in envy at my pants. I wore a pair of my cousin's old kaki cargos. I then noticed what everyone was wearing. they wore these masculine-looking shorts that were baggy and came down to their knees. Some of the women who seemed older and in charge told me to come with them. They seemed, calm, and expressionless. They surrounded me and weren't at all phased by my fear and confusion of being dropped off at a cultic- seeming place where I was supposed to do what I was told with little explanation of where I was and who they were. They took me to a room and told me to undress in front of them. I refused. i was terrifed and they were all staring at me. Ms Charity and Ms Betty told me if I didn't undress immediately so I could shower they would make me shower by undressing me by force and throwing me in. I backed away and they grabbed me. It was so scary to me that I can't even recall all of it. I know my eyes were closed most of the time. They called in Brother John Kissel, who is male, and helped them hold me down and take off my clothes, then dump me in the shower and turn it on cold.I don't know if you can imagine being molested in that fashion by one, complete strangers, and two, someone of the opposite sex. But it caused me a lot of emotional problems in the future.
I was told if I didn't get saved, I would never go home. This is how they would manipulate us. No one got "saved". Girls were terrified. And they wanted to be cared for. Most of the girls there had been abandoned already by their parents, and they felt they only had their captors, being VCA staff to bond with and trust. They made many of us believe we wouldn't make it in the outside world, saying we needed them and the school to survive.Many girls got to a point that they were sick of being locked in the "Get-Right Room" For having their own beleifs or religions, or not going along with the brainwashing in the school. They were sick of being denied simple things like candy after meals, or soda on friday, or even their medications because they were a "sinner". I remember when I was denied my medication because I was "Misbehaving" by not walking fast enough for the girl who was watching me. Katherine Tillet was by buddier and was given permission to put her hands on me and push me whenever she wanted to, if I wasn't walking fast enough for her, or if I didn't get out of bed fast enough in the morning, she could drag me out by my hair. I remember being dragged by my arm down two flights of stairs by Ms Katie.Kathering was rough and took pleasure in the power she had been given by the staff. She would flatter them, suck up, lie, do anything to make them give her approval. They understood her grovelling, and even made fun of her behind her back for it. It was really sad. But she never saw it. Katherine got permission to punish me for swearing by making me lie in a thin gown with not even a sheet on the hard, dorm floor and with not even a pillow for three nights.Girls who had been in the school for much longer had no pity, most of them. Some liked watching new girls go through that; some laughed at me when they walked by. I was very cold, and got no sleep, as is to be expected.
I went on about only a few of the physical abuse situations I encountered. Now I will tell about some emotional abuse.
Daily, either Brother Palmer or Brother Brown would scream at us during chapel, telling us we were "dirty, discusting pigs and whores" and that we were "going to hell" and that if we were homosexual God hated us more than anything else. I remember one time when Brother Palmer took a poor girl, Amy F., and had her sit in front of the chapel, facing the entire room. He told her she had slept with her boyfriend back home, and that she was worthless and sick. He screamed at her and about her, cutting her down until she cried violently.She cried until her entire face was red with tears. He was mad at her because she was caught talking about things besides God, and her parents. We weren't allowed to talk about radio, movies, friends, games, TV, bands of any kind,music exept for hymns, and we couldn't even say the word 'Pants" Because good women didn't wear pants in their opinion, and they were a sign of a rebellios women who didn't follow after her husband like a stupid sheep. Ironically, they taught us to be housewives, have kids, and worship our husbands, when the women there did none of this. they weren't humble, they weren't a crown to their husbands; instead, they were overly-bold and controlling women-staff. They were manipulative to the men, and then told us differently. Ms Betty always told me that the husband would come first. That we were to work for the men and let them make all the choices and decisions in all matters; that we had no say. She claimed to be a humble and meek wife, always respecting her husband and being by his side. Ms Betty was loud, controlling, nosy, talked all the time, loved to intimidate girls and make herself look like someone to be afraid of.She would make sure she got her way,all the time. I never saw God in her. One time Brother Brown was preaching chapel on homosexuality. He said that if we thought it was wrong and they were going to hell,to stand up in chapel. The girls that didn't stand up, he made other girls yell at and put down, and make fun of. It was cruel, sick, and satanic in my opinion. He was very intimidating when he wanted to be. He would scream. He had a very loud voice, and quite a temper.It was like one big mind-bubble. It was trance they had you in. And if anyone broke that trance of belief, they would be silence, one way or another. They wouldn't let you voice your thoughts. They would go through my things periodically and throw my writings (poems, stories) away because I wasn't "writing about scripture". We had no privacy at the school, no way to contact anyone or anything from the outside world. It was all forbidden, and "Worldly". You were not permitted to make friends. If you did, they would put you on separation, where you would have to wear a pink shirt every day. Girls who were a suspect of talking about things that weren't VCA subjects, like God, Bible, how much you loved VCA and how it helped you, etc, were put on the pink shirt rule, and were looked down upon and ridiculed by other girls. No one wanted to talk to you because you were "bad" and it would make them look bad if they were too nice to you.It was hard having few friends and people to rely on and talk to.I know for a fact many VCA girls begged God every night to show their ignorant parents what was really going on at the school. You may have gotten closer to God there, but it wasn't because of their torture and cultic practices. It was because of the pain of being left with people who acted nice and civil in front on your parents, sane, even. And when they left, the real horrors began.Many girls grew to hate God because this was the only thing they knew of him. They actually thought these fanatics refelected our loving God. These people are tools or satan because they drive people from how God really is, making them think God must be hateful, because they claim God is on their side.Of course girls will be turned away.This is so damaging. I remember watching a girl being forced to eat her own vomit because she couldnt finish her food. It was horroble to watch.Many of us wanted to fight back, and many of us did. But it never lasted for long. They always won. If you tried to stand up for another girl in the school, you would be given the same punishment as her, basically.
If you wrote things to your parents that the staff didn't want them to know about,they would sometimes blot it out with white out or black permanent marker if they thought it would be taken as truth. But If what was going on at the school was being expressed to the parents in letters, the staff would explain to the parents the girls were lying and just wanted to get away from their problems.They would leave it there in the letters to make you look bad. They told the parents that if they took their child out of the school before their year, things would never be successful between them and their child. It was their way of getting more money.
The staff always chose favorites with the girls. It was really wrong because there were some girls who were naturally more dull, or less pretty than other girls, or were less likely to suck up. These girls were ignored and were only given attention when the girls called their name, or had a question about a rule or something.But besides that, they never helped them with their problems, talked about working through problems that got them to VCA in the first place, or anything. There were certain girls they would pick to hug and spend time with. They would only hug certain girls, and others who desperately wanted attention might have tried to hug a staff member and been reprimanded for it in front of the pet girl. It was twisted. Of course that girl would get it in her head that she was special and would treat the other girls in a mean and rude manner. This was tolerated because she was a favorite.
If a girl was sick, oftentimes the staff would say she was faking it and make her carry around a trashcan to school and everything when she vomited. It was sad to watch because you would many times, see that a girl really WAS sick and had a fever, but they didn't care. The school system was a joke. The staff knew little about school, and how to teach. A lot of the time they didn't even know the workbooks, themseleves. It was just another situation where no one was qualfied. I was suicidal. I had depression. Was I given therapy? No. Was anyone? No. According to them, medicine was for weak people who didn't trust God. We were made fun of almost daily by the staff for taking meds for legitamate reasons. Our parents had sent us the meds and requested us be given them. This is the only reason they gave them to us. Even then,they would use it against you, as I said before, as a tool of manipulation. I failed school utterly at VCA. Some girls did good working for hours and hours in cramped cubicles with no breaks. I didn't. I left VCA so behind in my schooling due to their failure to teach me and help me with my subjects, I couldn't return to public schools. I had to be homeschooled until my graduation. They said school didn't matter, anyways, and that we should be focusing on out daily chores and bible, more than anything,anyways. I left VCA with more emotional problems than I had when I went in. Thankfully, I have been able to work through them. I care about these girls, and want them out of there for good.
If you are a parent and are thinking about sending your child to a place like this, please think twice about it-LOOK INTO THE PROGRAM. If a place tells you you can only visit your child at certain times, like, for an example, you can't see your child for 3 months straight, there is a problem. I want you to be able to contact your child whenever you feel the need, and not be manipulated by the people who run it. I want you to be able to write and recieve letters from your child without them being read. It's privacy anyone deserves. Think for yourself. I am sure it's hard to have a kid who doesn't connect with you, maybe doesn't listen to you, maybe is experiencing some really bad things at school, home, with a boyfriend, or maybe experienced sexual molestation. I spoke with many girls at VCA who had been sexually molested. You would be suprised at how many of their parents overlooked this and just sent them away thinking they were bad. Maybe you have no relationship with your kid, and you think sending them away to a psyco- cult commune where they are treated like animals and not even given the right POW'S have when they have their little fucking prayer mats to pray to Allah on 1000 times a day. At least they are given the right to think about which god they want to pray to. At least they are being respected enough to have a right to think. And these people are the types that jump in airplanes and blow up trade centers. It's only right. And look what is happening to our childen in our own country. These staff members are unqualified, there is no doctor on campus, there is nothing safe about the place. They will hire anyone as staff without background checks. These places are not accountable to ANYONE. You never know what they are able to do to your child.Think first.Don't be another rash parent and give your child to these dangerous people. A lot of parents meant well, and now their daughers are sluts and strippers on the streets and are dying from meth and heroin. These places take girls with potential and destroy them emotionally and spirtually. They don't help.If any of you have gone to VCA and need to talk or just have questions in general, feel free to IM me anytime. OrnaDuyessa.(AIM SN)
~Rae"
