Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
76-77 Seed Grads
GregFL:
I think, Stripe, what you are witnessing is not a difference in sex, but more of a difference between Art's favorites and the average seedling.
I mean, if you were on staff, no one was really telling you when to pee, marking your defecations down in that little book (just what the hell did they do with that book? What was the purpose?) and no one was force feedling you wet PJ sandwiches and little cups of cool-aide, keeping you up all night writing confessionals and making you hokie pokie in the parking lot in front of your old "druggie friends" hoping to break your spirit.
So yeah, these guys who bought all the way in and decided that yes, it was reasonable to have Daddie Art decide who you could date and where you should work, how you should dress and act and who you could talk to..sure they had some good times. They were doing exactly what they thought was reasonble, and had like minded people to do it with. Those of us that were counting the days to freedom and trying to find private glimpses of our real selves without getting in trouble really didn't have much to celebrate.
It is all a matter of perspective.
_____________
"I think they're very dangerous and destructive. I don't think that anyone should think for you. And that's exactly what cults do. All cults, including Scientology, say, 'I am your mind, I am your brain. I've done all the work for you, I've laid the path open for you. All you have to do is turn your mind off and walk down the path I have created.'" - L. Ron Hubbard, Jr., 1983 Penthouse interview
Stripe:
Maggie, Ft.L., Seth,
Thanks for the perspective.
And Maggie, I'm glad to know the girls,whoever they were, had fun.
Can I tell you guys though, it was really different on the other side. Do you all recall what Greg is referring to?
And even as weird and sad and disconcerting as my experience was, I don't think I would trade it for any of the happy ones you guys had. Personally, I think the price paid was way too high. No offense intended so please don't take it, okay?
Ft. Lauderdale:
Nope...
No one ever told me who to date. I asked my wife to marry me no else had anything to do with it...
Sorry Greg there is alot more to it than you know.
I was never really a favorite. In fact more times probably not the favorite.
Johnny G:
I was somewhat rotund, and that wasn't PbJs. We ate pretty well at night (2 fridges, both full)
I also recall getting zapped up on the top of a light pole, (another "fuck yea" moment as in "is it off?")
I always had a ball fixing stuff around there. sometimes I think it is a wonder we didn't kill ourselves. I got chased around the roof by a pissed off bunch of bees after we tried to smoke them out of the wall.
Thoise were definitely some good times!
G
cleveland:
I can say that in some ways, I agree with Maggie - there were times when I felt like I was living a 'normal' life and that we were having fun without feeling the pressure to 'be cool' - and that was great. But, on the other hand, there were people who had a certain amount of freedom that I and others didn't share, so there were people who could work on projects and use front-end loaders (I remember that day - I spent hours digging a drainage ditch) and stuff. Usually I got stuck with manual labor-type jobs, or being in a rap, but I didn't really have a choice and that's the problem with it for me. So - I learned how to have some fun without drinking or being cool, which was great - but I did feel that my life was really, really REALLY constricted, especially the longer I was there. I am sure I had my own freedoms, but I was envious of people who worked at better jobs than mine, or who were allowed to have more freedom, or were favored with more attention. Stripe's posts seem to reflect someone early in the program, Seth's and FL's are from the standpoint of long-term guys. For whatever reason, we each havce our own perspectives.
I think part of the problem I had is that I really thought I was supposed to be humble, and that meant the I didn't aspire to much when I was at the Seed. I thought that was being grateful for whatever came my way, and not pushing for recognition or privileges.
As far as dating goes, it simply didn't exist when I was at the Seed. I remember Cindy and John were allowed to date, but he was a staff member so he had contact with the girls that I did not. I rarely ever even had a conversation with anyone but a female staff member. My contact with the opp. sex was limited to saying 'hi' (maybe) or 'nice catch' on the football field. Literally. So, I'm not even sure how FL got far along enough to get married! I wouldn't have had the option, not during my time.
I didn't go to La Dome or the movies (I remember seeing exactly one movie - Alien) and I took one trip to the Keys, which was kind of unsanctioned and never repeated. I remember going out to dinner once in my seven-year stint with a couple of seed friends - the rest were always with family when they made once-a-year visit.
I think I kind of took pride in my austere life style, but it also kind of sucked, too. My life was work, group, home - work, group, home - work, group, home - football/baseball on the weekends, then back to work, group, home. Fishing? I did it three times in seven years. Hiking? Never. Making non-Seed friends? Never. Having a stimulating, open conversation where I disagreed with a staff member or someone with more senior status than me? Never! Taking a class, going to a lecture, museum or concert? Never. Reading a good book? Not approved of. Listening to any music besides jazz, big band and 1950s pop? No.
I have some good memories and some good times were had, but lots of days were just kind of gray for me...kind of lonely, since I wasn't free to be my true self. Whenever I did start to have fun, staff would disallow the activity or move me to another apartment. Really, that's what I remember more than anything, was my lack of freedom. More than any fun I had.
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