Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
anonymity on this board
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-15 11:28:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Getting kind of crazy around here.
Sybergal, why don't you let us know about the total of three people posting here? I completely disagree. I see at least 10-15 styles of posting by going back a few months. Is it that you can't stand someone talking negatively about Hyde School or are you just trying to make false statements to throw potential parents off about how bad Hyde School is?
"
--- End quote ---
I don't have issues with any negative comments about Hyde, as long as they are true. No human or institution is perfect, and everyone has room for growth (and critique), including me. Just for example, I have to agree with a lot of the posts about the incest at Hyde, and I and many others have made these comments directly to Hyde.
Anyway, I had hoped that it would be obvious that since I have no way of knowing the real number of people posting here, that my reference to the three posters would be taken as an exaggeration to make a point.
There is clearly a small number of very vocal people, some with no association with Hyde (like Antigen/Eudora), that seem to provide a very high percentage of posts.
Its also not uncommom on websites like this for people to write things in a different voice with the intention of creating an illusion that there are many more people who share their opinion than actually exist.
So yes, to be clear, I did not literally mean there were only three posters....just that there is no way to know.
I actually agree with you that there are a lot of seemingly unique posts here and think your numbers a low, but without more facts, its possible (and my guess is likely) that what is presented here is a vocal minority, and more importantly, impossible to tell if the objections are statistically sinificant.
If 66% of the Hyde alum have positive experiences (many transformative), is that enough? As a moderately desperate parent, for me, it would probably be worth the risk, as long as I knew what I was getting into (that is, I also agree with some of the negative posts that Hyde may not be great at establishing expectations for the parents in advance).
In the end, my comment was part of prior comments I have given Antigen/Eudora (and supporting your comments by extension) about setting up this site so that people have to use a psuedonym and can only have one.
Sybergal "86
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-15 04:42:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-04-15 00:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
Jeez Eudora, I had kinda hoped you were a little smarter than that, but at this point can only conclude your lack of logic skills makes you the odds on favorite to win the election for village idiot. I will try and help you...
--- End quote ---
That kind of stuff works well with the Rush and Bill ORielly crowd, but any one with solidly three digit IQ recognizes an ad Hominum attack as a cheap rhetorical technique and the sign of a weak argument. BTW I think Eudora is a very sharp wimmin.
--- Quote ---
Let me try a different analogy. Three people are friends for a long time. One day, Friend 1 finds out that Friend 2 is publicly bashing Friend 1. Friend 1 calls Friend 2 to talk about it (to no avail), and the next time Friend 1 and Friend 3 (the person who introduced Friend 1 and Friend 2) talk, it comes up in conversation.
--- End quote ---
I don't think it was totally wrong. I think it is pretty much like you said. The three have a relationship. With that said, I had a volunteer from Hyde call me a while back. The tentative tone in her voice was plain. I asked her about it. She said some people freak when Hyde calls. So to take Lars point of view let me change your analogy a little:
3 people/groups My parents, my crazy x boy freind, me.
I caught my x with my mothers panties over his head masturbating in the living room. I show him the door. He is a little crazy. He walks the line on the stalking thing for a while then fades away.
I post on a web site for wimmin recoving from crazy men. MY x sees it and call my parents to complain. Since my parents are pretty strait laced I never told them about the pantie fetish. My X is active in our local church as is my parents. My parent call me and ask why I am saying bad things about that nice boy that is active in our church. I am unhappy about the situation. Am I rong? The situation above is ambigious. Hyde does not do grey well. It is like I love Lucy reruns: great in black and white.
--- Quote ---
This is the subject which Lars seems to have trouble staying on track on....possibly ADD or something like that
--- End quote ---
I don't think it is ADD. Since Lars confessed to choosing his college based on soft core porn, my guess it he has some internet porn open in another browser window and it is distracting him. He is typing with one hand if you know what I mean.
--- Quote ---
Sybergal
(Yes, names are good -- I will try and adhere as well....most well run websites I know won't allow anonymous posts and limit users to a single name....otherwise, as stated, its nearly impossible to have a meaningful dialogue, the site devolves to trash-talking garbage posts, and its not a big leap to guess that 99% of the posts are the same three people.)"
--- End quote ---
I suspect that "that 99% of the posts are the same three people" and when you pose a question that is hard for them to answer they stop posting. Since Hyde ,unlike other private secondary schools, does not have an IQ bogie to gain admission, some of the folks that attended are not the brightest bulbs in the knife draw.
Sue Doenym
"
--- End quote ---
Sue, I may not see eye to eye with you, but I like the thoughfulness of your posts. I was even thinking about Bill O'Reilly in this context as well, although Lars would by my Bill (not me, to you)!
Yes, my attack on Eudora/Antigen ("Drug War POW" whatever that means) was ad hominem, and may be cheap and rhetorical. I disagree ad hominem attacks are a sign of a weak argument, however, it just means I attacked the messenger and not the message.
Since I spent the rest of my post attacking the message, I think I am covered there, so the real question is, did Eudora deserve it?
Here's the thing. Eudora's life is a website she created to expose the troubled teen industry. She has now become a micro-celebrity in that area. She may be smart -- I think she is reasonably intelligent -- but she also makes a lot of posts that are irrelevant, distracting and off point.
Clearly the notion that I should be ok with Lars calling my parents is far afield of the facts at hand.
Moreso, given that she has no association or connection with Hyde other than wanting to promote it as a cult school to promote her website, I simply find her presence here unwarranted and inappropriate. (FWIW, I have called her out directly on this in posts in the past and she is non-responsive.)
So, with a distinct level of frustration that (a) she refuses to take reasonable steps to make this website more honest and meaningful, (b) she regularly jumps in on discussions she hasn't read thoroughly, and (c) often makes points that seem to have no reference in time or space, well, yes, I devolved to a comment of last resort.
As for your analogy, I think you have made some jumps in logic yourself....
You said "MY x sees it and call my parents to complain."
In the case at hand, your X called you to talk about it FIRST. Rightfully or otherwise, you weren't open to his fetish, but what didn't happen was X just calling your parents to complain. Instead, X called your parents after calling you to say, hey, our next church meeting is Sunday, are you coming....blah blah blah....and maybe even the parents asked (we don't know do we) hey, have you talked to our daughter/your X lately, we are still worried about her because she has a long documented history of telling lies, and so while we believe her about your fetish issues, we are also concerned about her still as well and given that we have worked together in the past to try and help her, just wanted to check in.
You also conclude with the fact that this person is "unhappy" about this discussion between her X and the parents. Great. That's a real emotion to which I can relate and be empathetic. But that is quite different from breaching a moral obligation of privacy. Your example turns Lars "you" statement (Hyde violated a moral obligation) into a non-judgmental "me" statement (hey, I feel hurt by this).
I have no problem with the later, as I try as hard as possible (even if I fail often) to live in the "me" statements world. If that was what he had said in his original post, we wouldn't even be having this discussion.
Cybergal "86
Anonymous:
Lars wrote:
--- Quote --- You remind of me what I hated most about Hyde - the know it all who can't make a logical argument, but simply resorts to half-assed putdowns. I answered your question about the respect for privacy. The fact that Hyde may have relationship with my parents does not justify conveying any information about my conversation with a former classmate/faculty member. Their relationship with my parents did not precede their relationship with me and at this point, is entirely independent of any relationship they have with me. That means they have no business discussing my feelings about the place with them. You've failed to to come up with a single reason why my interaction with anyone from the school is fair game for them to bring up with my folks.
Good thing you're not a lawyer. Our profession requires reasoning skills AND a respect for privacy. You have neither.
--- End quote ---
Sheesh, where to start. You attack me for making personal attacks on you....so I challenge the readers to read Lars posts from the beginning. From jumpstreet he calls me an "asshole" and "clueless" (fyi, why didn't these ad hominem attacks bother you Sue and just mine?). I waited until the seventh page of this stream (and didn't use epithets) to make an ad hominem attack on the site administrator in the same post also detailing my comments on the message itself (and not the messenger).
Now Lars, after attacking me for attacking him (and not owning his personal attacks) says I don't have the ability to reason or any respect for privacy. Huh?
Anyway, in his latest post, Lars suggests he initiated the relationship with Hyde and brought his parents there. (How else could Hyde not have a pre-existing relationship with Lars parents?) Either they brought him or he brought them, and my money is on the former. Of course, I don't know for sure, but FWIW I am willing to make a sizable wager on this one.
Lars says Hyde's "relationship with my parents...is entirely independent of any relationship they have with me." Independent, yes, unrelated, um, no, Lars. No, no, no. The whole relationship was inspired by and is completely about you. You conclusion then that "That means they have no business discussing my feelings about the place with them" thus seems to bizarre to me as to defy description.
Sybergal "86
Lars:
Anyway, in his latest post, Lars suggests he initiated the relationship with Hyde and brought his parents there. (How else could Hyde not have a pre-existing relationship with Lars parents?) Either they brought him or he brought them, and my money is on the former. Of course, I don't know for sure, but FWIW I am willing to make a sizable wager on this one.
Lars says Hyde's "relationship with my parents...is entirely independent of any relationship they have with me." Independent, yes, unrelated, um, no, Lars. No, no, no. The whole relationship was inspired by and is completely about you. You conclusion then that "That means they have no business discussing my feelings about the place with them" thus seems to bizarre to me as to defy description.
Sybergal "86"
[/quote]
Wrong again. I did not suggest in any way that I inititiated the relationship with Hyde. Read it carefully. And just because my parents brought me to Hyde does not mean that twenty years later they have any business discussing my current feelings with them. If you can't understand that, well, you're simply not capable of understanding that once a family leaves that place, their private lives are off limits to the school. I choose to discuss the matter with my former schoolmate out of respect. I did not expect that they would actually discuss it my parents or anyone else for that matter. I had the right to expect that. Just because they had their nose in our family's business twenty years ago does not mean thay can stick their nose in it again. So fuck you and the self righteous horse you rode in on. Frankly, I'm ashamed to have graduated from a school that produces people like you.
Anonymous:
Wrong Lars. Didn't you know that Hyde has the right to do whatever they want. It works one way with Hyde and it is their way or the highway!! I too am ashamed of graduating from there
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