Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
anonymity on this board
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-11 17:00:00, Lars wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
Hey,
It is good that you are getting in touch with your feelings. Let that anger out.
If I saw you write a letter to the editor and I knew your Mom, I might say "did you see that letter to the editor Lars wrote" What is wrong with that?
sue doenym (not my real name)"
--- End quote ---
If I wrote a letter to the editor, I'd sign my name to it. And you didn't answer my question, which campus do you teach at? [ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-11 18:28 ]"
--- End quote ---
Eudora,
Are you editing the posts because of legal pressure from hyde? Do you log ip address against posts? My concern is that if you have ip addresses log and linked to posts there is not real anonymity if hyde hires a slapp lawyer.
Lars,
I am not the poster to whom you adressed your original question. I never taught at hyde. In my day only the Creme de la creme came back to teach. I was the dregs de la dregs.
Sue Doenym
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-11 11:21:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-04-11 10:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place."
--- End quote ---
Hmmmm. Let's see.
1. You effectively outed youself by providing tons of details about your life that made it obvious who you were. (Didn't you even provide your own name on here at one point? I haven't looked back to check.)
2. It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue.
3. Hyde contacted your parents for fundraising, and in the course of the conversation, mentioned they had spoken with you.
So where is the lack of respect for privacy? You outed yourself. They called you to talk about it. They called your parents in the ordinary course (fundraising, where you would be natural subject of the call, just like any fundraising of this sort).
Anyway, I'll bet it would rock your world to learn that Hyde contacting you was based on compassion and concern for you.
Point is, for some it may be helpful to out themselves. For others, not so much. Its a personal decision. But make no mistake, this is a public forum, and not a private AA meeting, as someone else suggested.
Hyde's actions could be consistent with either (a) a school so terrified by this board that they will stop at no lengths to put an end to it, or (b) an institution that cares about its alum, no matter how disgruntled.
You seem to have chosen (a), but provide no backup for that.
On good information, I happen to believe it was (b).
"
--- End quote ---
What is the source of your "good information"? How would you happen to know enough to say that, to use your words, "It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue." Are you on the Hyde staff or part of the Hyde "team"?
What you say about Hyde's reasons for reaching out may be true; I have no way of knowing. My guess is that some Hyde staff are concerned and want to have the kind of dialogue you suggest for honorable reasons. In addition, my guess is that some Hyde staff are also deeply concerned and troubled by this website and are doing what they can to stop the awful PR bleeding. That's merely a hunch.
"
--- End quote ---
I notice that you haven't answered my question about the source of your information. Are you not willing to disclose the nature of your Hyde affiliation?
Anonymous:
Lars said
--- Quote ---I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family."
--- End quote ---
I didn't miss the point of your original post Lars. I said in my first response that I actually agreed with you there are good reasons not to disclose one's identity here, but that it's also a personal decision. I didn't elaborate on that, but personal or not, I only agree with this to the extent one speaks of their personal experience. Acuse Hyde of a crime or mistreating others when without having the details or inside info, yes, that seems inappropriate and self-serving and worthy of challenge, including exploration of the posters bias, which requires their identity.
The concept of bias brings me back to your (secondary?) point that "Hyde doesn't respect privacy". Lars, when you were a little boy, your parents established a relationship with Hyde that focused on you. When Hyde called you recently (out of compassion) and then mentioned this to your family, that was business in the ordinary course. My issue is thus not with the primary point of your post, its how you chose to present it.
Lars said
--- Quote --- Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place.
--- End quote ---
"When Hyde figured out who I was"? Lars, you outed yourself. That was your choice. Take responsibility for it.
"They actually contacted me". What I find interesting was your use of the word "actually", as it seems to imply impropriety instead of presenting the facts about the compassionate nature of the call. And later Hyde "mentioned" your call with them to your parents. (And that's really all it was, right "mentioned"?) I have to say, big whoop there Lars. So what? You know as well as anyone that Hyde calls former parents and talks about former students. This was no surprise, and was both predictable and standard in the industry.
Your point about not wanting to share your association with Hyde with the world is valid, at least to the extent you are talking about your personal experience. Your jump to a point about Hyde not respecting privacty, based on your bizarre example which includes you outing yourself (a cry for help?), Hyde contacting you compassionately (and you leaving these details out), and then mentioning it to your parents like every fundraising group I have ever known, is unwarranted. What I find more interesting is why you make this connection, because you do it again in your latest post.
Lars said:
--- Quote --- I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family....who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
--- End quote ---
In that Hyde actually does have "business" bringing your conversation up with your parents, it started me thinking about what was really going on for you, so here's my guess: The fact you left out was that Hyde mentioned to your parents you were posting on this site.
Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them (they sent you to Hyde, right)...and you don't like that one bit, so instead of dealing with the source of your issues, you project them onto Hyde.
Just a guess. I know I wouldn't want my parents to see all of my diary-like posts I make on various sites. That's why I would never out myself (on those sites)....and if I did, then even a non-lawyer would know I can't hold anyone other than myself responsible if my post somehow ends up on the front page of the New York Times.
Anonymous:
"Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them "
Hey that was pretty insightful for an unskilled Hyde staffer. Anger is seldom about what we think it is about. Let me know if you see anything in my posts. I always open to good free advice.
Sue Doenym
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-12 04:10:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-04-11 17:00:00, Lars wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
Hey,
It is good that you are getting in touch with your feelings. Let that anger out.
If I saw you write a letter to the editor and I knew your Mom, I might say "did you see that letter to the editor Lars wrote" What is wrong with that?
sue doenym (not my real name)"
--- End quote ---
If I wrote a letter to the editor, I'd sign my name to it. And you didn't answer my question, which campus do you teach at? [ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-11 18:28 ]"
--- End quote ---
Eudora,
Are you editing the posts because of legal pressure from hyde? Do you log ip address against posts? My concern is that if you have ip addresses log and linked to posts there is not real anonymity if hyde hires a slapp lawyer.
Lars,
I am not the poster to whom you adressed your original question. I never taught at hyde. In my day only the Creme de la creme came back to teach. I was the dregs de la dregs.
Sue Doenym"
--- End quote ---
LOL, no! I edit for formatting because I'm too lazzy to figure out why the tag counter fuckes up and renders unmatched quote tags.
Otherwise, I only edit at the request or, or at least w/ permission by, the author. In the exceedingly rare event that I wind up editing anything (or even if I refuse) because of any kind of legal pressure, I habitually squack about it in a number of ways. Here's a favorite: http://DCHFans.org/ I've found it works pretty well and highly recomend anyone who agrees to do the same. In fact, I'd be happy to add any donated autograph samples to the (slowly) growing archive at the Dewey, Cheetham & Howe Fan Website.
I keep the usual server logs. Anyone w/ a pressing need will see about making that data meaningless before divulging anything that really, requires anonymity. But, for most purposes, nobody knows anything you don't tell them explicitly, except that logging info and I'm not in the habit of sharing that.
I told all four that there are going to be some times where we don't
agree with each other, but that's OK. If this were a dictatorship, it
would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator.
--GW Büsh, CNN.com, December 18, 2000
--- End quote ---
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