Author Topic: Didn't we all used to be friends?  (Read 13762 times)

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Offline katfish

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Didn't we all used to be friends?
« Reply #90 on: May 15, 2005, 12:11:00 PM »
Anon- curious, are you saying:

You wrote:
Life scared me

Life gets cold.....ANd we need to keep going

Life is painful......that doesn't mean that I get to just check out from my life.

Life is full of shit.... SO keep dealing with it.

Life is lonely........And I deal with this stuff everyday....

 And are you saying  that
because the school was able to recreate these experiences for you- being cold, pain, shit (shoveling shit presumably- called out on your 'shit', etc) and lonliness and these metaphorical reproductions of real life made you realize that if you could surmount so much while at MMS, why not in real life?


I think it's great MMS was good for you and helpful, my experience was so different that it's hard for me to understand, how are MMS tactics are acceptable?
I think you can figure out the difference b/w those that are versus those that aren't- like excersize ok but days/weeks of intervention at the schools benifit maybe a little manipulative and at the expense of our schooling entirely unacceptable, John intimidation and yelling, smirking and power hungry not ok, labeling all as addicts seems a bit premature and can really fuck up a vulnerable teens idea of themselve so not ok, etc, etc, etc.  I think it's common sense.
 
As I have posted elsewhere, I thought MMS tactics out of line, the attack therapy ineffective (and better methods available, the lack of ability to speak up about things going on that felt wrong (children should be seen not heard, so to speak), just the fear and the strenous labor which was quite excessive.  I don't mind work, but that was insanity! And I learned a lot, don't get me wrong- that' doesn't mean all that much to me compratively, but it's something.

I also think that it's cause for concern that girls, even girls who adore MMS, still have nightmares about going there and not being allowed to leave- after 10 years!  Read the postings on - I think it's called i'm confused.  Girls start telling John, but I have a college degree! And I work!  A dream about having to answer to John, seems quite appropriate considering the way the school worked.  If you're having nightmare, something fucked up is going on.

I live 20 blocks away from the World Trade Center and saw the twin towers go down- many mornings I wake up at loud sounds in terror
that a bomb has just been let off down my street.  The feeling was the same I used to get in my MMS nightmares- although I haven't had one in about 5 years.  It's about trauma, though, and there's got to be a better way than retraumatizing girls over and over again at MMS for the sake of having the girls deal with the origical trauma.  Frankly, what I think MMS does is shock the shit out of you for 2-4 years until you think it's normal and then let you go with a pocketful of 12 steps and a bunch of Mercerisms (as I like to call them.)  Oh and let us not forget, with a lot of knowledge about skiing, horses, deer shit, knapp weeds, building fences, chopping wood, picking ice and rocks, hiking, layering clothing, mystical stories about how we're all on journeys and need to overcome obstacles that we can write bad plays about and our parents can politely applaud our efforts...I can't remember what else, but I make very little use of any of it now.

If you think it's MMS was great that's totally cool, but b/c that hasn't been the case for many girls makes it important for improvements to be made so that the cycle of girls (not girls like you) being admitted who leave feeling abused and worse off stops happening.  If you had great experience, would it make difference to you if improvements are made for the sake of the other girls who felt MMS was abusive?[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-08-12 14:18 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Didn't we all used to be friends?
« Reply #91 on: May 15, 2005, 01:06:00 PM »
I am the anon who posted:
Life gets cold.....ANd we need to keep going

Life is painful......that doesn't mean that I get to just check out from my life.

Life is full of shit.... SO keep dealing with it.

Life is lonely........And I deal with this stuff everyday....



Anyways- I agree that changes need to be made, I don't think everything was acceptable there.  MMS has changed and is changing.  Some one also said earlier "that MMS was like living with an alcoholic parent you never knew what was coming."  At first I agreed with that in a lot of ways---then I mulled it over because I have lived with an alcoholic parent---MMS and my alchoholic parent aren't even compariable.  I was a nuerotic child of an alcholic before I ever went to MMS.  

I am not discounting what any body is saying. I understand all of this feelings, and beleifs, because I have had them too.  

Though I had to get through that stuff, I have realized that it had nothing to do with the school why I had all this anger when I got out----it had everything to do with me.  

MMS is not a monopoly---It is not a cure all for everything or everybody.  

I respect people who have anger, and beleifs of abuse.   This forum it undoubtedly about you having your own expeerience  around this stuff.  

It has been very helpful for me to be here.  I realize that everyone is very sensitive here, and some what defensive,  I would be to.  No one needs to become defensive towards me.  I have posted a lot on this site and had never been hanging my good expereince over anyones head.  Though I have gotten responses like I am.  Because I have never claimed that I had a good expereince there.  I can sit here and be very clear even after reading everythign on this website That MMs helped me more then harmed me.  

I could probable interject all sorts of juicy information---that you guys would probable agree with and put on the list of what needs to be forcable changed about MMS.  Wheather or not MMS is a cult, and whether of not abuse went on there, And wheather or not they got 40 thousand a year,  it helped me have the life I have today which I wouldn't trade for anything.

I have been very open in telling the school and people there how it needs to improve and where I think it lacking, and what could be done better.  

I don't see much coming out of a lawsuit.  Though using your voices is so important, I support that.  I support you getting clarity, and being heard.  ANd I have heard you.

Thanks
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Offline katfish

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Didn't we all used to be friends?
« Reply #92 on: May 15, 2005, 01:34:00 PM »
well said, anon.  I may not agree with everything and even strongly disgree on some points, but I think I've posted enough on those points- anyway, well said.  

kat[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-05-15 10:34 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
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Offline kerryberry420

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Didn't we all used to be friends?
« Reply #93 on: May 15, 2005, 04:28:00 PM »
my god this got out of control this has turned into a war between girls each trying to prove that they are right.  that wasn't what this was about at all.  this was ONLY about trying to make legislature that monitors programs more closely.  not just mms, all of them.  the "teen help" industry is the fastest growing industry in the country and programs are popping up everywhere, i persoanlly think there should be an agency created just to monitor these programs.  not something to get in the way of what they are doing but somehting to make sure that the girls (and boys) come first.  sorry i let myself get off of my own topic even, but this was really all i wanted to get across.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #94 on: July 20, 2005, 07:53:00 PM »
Man, and all those people who were my friends. I try to ask for help and they don't even reply when I contact them. so llame. So fake. Just wait til everything blows up in your faces.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #95 on: August 17, 2005, 10:55:00 PM »
Just wanted tell everyone that I went to the reunion and nither Colleen or anyone from that school has been in touch with me. When I received the invitation I was so excited and felt honored to be asked back. I couldn't wait to see all of my friends that I haven't seen in 10 years. All of my mentors who showed me the best they could the right directions. The "chain gang", the memories I have, the songs we sang, the compassion that we showed. When my mom and I drove down Guest Ranch Road for the first time in 10 yrs I felt so scared, nervous, excited. Remembering the last time I was their like it was yesterday. It being one of the most painful day I have ever had. It didn't matter that was in the past. I couldn't wait to see all of the faces of my friends. When I got out of the car I only saw a few that I recognized. I thought that maybe they will arrive later. I shortly realized that I was wrong. I began to feel the tears running down my face. What happened to everyone? Why aren't their more people here? I continued to ask myself this question all day. It was the first time I heard about Elizabeth M. I can't believe it. This broke my heart. I know that I cared about everyone that I shared a memory with, I feel it in my heart. Towards the end of the day I walked out to the Ski Cabin with my mom and it looked really run downed. The corral that was built was falling apart, the kitchen was missing boards. Everything that we built that intervention (you know what i am talking about if you were there) was falling apart. I then realized what a statement, what a metaphor.
I was not a "success" at MMS and it was the hardest thing I ever did. What I do know is that it was all of you that helped me make it through, made me smile and laugh when times where hard, made me feel safe to cry,be angry, and tell my most deepest secrets. I just wanted to tell you all that it would be really easy for me to bash on MMS but no one is perfect. I know I am not and I know that all of you aren't and weren't either, including MMS. I miss you all.

Love,
Cotter
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #96 on: August 17, 2005, 11:29:00 PM »
Cotter....
It was good to see you at the reunion.
Mised you and wasn't sure what happened.
Well keep in touch and lets pick up where we left off....like we always do.
B
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #97 on: August 18, 2005, 09:23:00 AM »
What do you mean you "felt honored to be invited?" Did these fine people PICK AND CHOOSE who was invited? Aren't REUNIONS open to each and every person who ever attended this FINE school?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #98 on: August 18, 2005, 10:25:00 AM »
actually, this reunions was for those who are supportive alumni.
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #99 on: August 18, 2005, 11:07:00 AM »
that can't be right- i was invited too! LOL
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
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Offline funnygirl

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« Reply #100 on: August 18, 2005, 05:10:00 PM »
honored to be invited meant that I was expelled and I thought that I would never be asked back. That is what my meant!
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Offline natalie

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Didn't we all used to be friends?
« Reply #101 on: July 07, 2006, 05:45:00 AM »
becca from detroit???
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ne Love

Offline katfish

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« Reply #102 on: July 08, 2006, 02:22:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-07-07 02:45:00, natalie wrote:

"becca from detroit???




"


no, she's a different one- would love to get a hold of becca though- what was her last name? conry?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead