That is a healthy way of looking at it, and one I am trying to also develop. I did not want an experience many many years ago to continue to affect my life either, but it did. After reading all the postings here and realising I was the only one making me still captive to them, I finally found some of the keys to unlock the shackles.
The kids being placed there were truly captive where as I chose to be with them. Listening to how those teens were struggling to reclaim their lives, I applauded their courage and finally realised that I was the only one keeping me there with Sudweeks all those years ago. They had long since moved on and probably dont even remember who I am. That was a sobering thought. That could only mean one thing, I was the only one holding on to it and I am the only one who can transform it into something positive.
This does not in any way excuse what they did, and it does not stop me thinking there is no way they should be doing what they are doing today. It only makes me realise that I do not have to be afraid, and what I have to say about what they do now has value in this discussion.
If you are willing to step away from your emotions and truly look at the situation with an objective eye, it is not hard to see the reality of the situation and put it into perspective.
Mark and Cheryl, in case you do remember, my name is Brenda and living well IS the best revenge.