Thayer Marketing

[Anonymous]

On 2006-06-12 17:32:00, AtomicAnt wrote:

"

On 2006-06-11 18:41:00, Anonymous wrote:


"or....mitch could have bee out smoking pot (again), braking curfew (again), and he was using the family car.  he misused the priveldges his parent gave him.  i am not saying to immediately send a kid to a wilderness program or any program but a lot of kids these days just do not care for the priveldges that their parents so lovingly give them."

Nor should they care. You cannot buy your child's love with bribes or leniency or privileges, nor can you convince your child you care with such tactics. You cannot expect a child to love you and be grateful because you gave them what you chose to give them.



Go ahead and call your child ungrateful. See how far that gets you. Watch what they do with this damaging information which basically says to them, "You are not worthy."



Your child comes into this world and owes you nothing. You owe the child the best parenting you can give."

i'm just curious to what you would do then if your son was coming home late for curfew every night and smells like pot and he had your car.  can you help me out here?

[Anonymous]

I'd tell him to get a designated driver.

[cadet_cheung]

nothing, don't do anything let him hit rock bottom let him be the one to get back up let him learn. and you refer to them as privileges but even if you didn't give it to them they would have broken them anyway.

[Anonymous]

>

i'm just curious to what you would do then if your son was coming home late for curfew every night and smells like pot and he had your car.  can you help me out here?

"
[/quote]
i would a) be an authrity figure & take the damn keys it is my car afterall. If he wants to go some where i would then drive him. This lills 2 birds I know where he is & I can keep him safe.
b) confront him and ask about the pot during the day. Not when he has just come home from a big night out. if he denies it ask why he smells that way. i assume you know because you have been around it so are not just assuming it is pot.
Talk about the risks after having read about it earlier. If he fesses up try not to go nuts as this will mean it is the first and last time he confesses.
Talk to his firends families, who i have previously had over for a few drinks so we know each other already and see what their thoughts are.

I am assuming that if he has just come home smelling of pot a few times nobody would be hysterical to sent the kid away anywhere afterall no kid is a robot!

[AtomicAnt]

On 2006-06-12 18:18:00, Anonymous wrote:

i'm just curious to what you would do then if your son was coming home late for curfew every night and smells like pot and he had your car.  can you help me out here?

"

You know, I thought back to my days in high school and it occurred to me that I did not have a curfew. I would borrow my Dad's car and come home at dawn. My parents never asked.

The pot thing is a bit tougher. The biggest danger with pot is the price you pay if you get caught by law enforcement. My intentions are to fill my son in on that bit of wisdom and hope he stays away from it. I did not smoke much pot as a teen because I was a distance runner and bicycler. I didn't want to impair my stamina.

I would certainly not send my son to a program for this. I don't see it as that big of a deal. I guess I never rebelled as a teen because my parents never gave me anything to rebel against. We had very few rules. As long as I got passing grades and did not get arrested, by parents were pretty cool.

Times change, though. When I was 16 some friends and I pulled an old car out of a field, fixed it up and shared it. We were standing around this bad ass machine when my friend's Dad tossed us a box of condoms and said, "Now that you have a back seat, you might need these."

[Anonymous]

On 2006-06-14 04:01:00, Anonymous wrote:

">


i'm just curious to what you would do then if your son was coming home late for curfew every night and smells like pot and he had your car.  can you help me out here?

By the way. i am assuming you would not send a kid to boot cam just for the above scenario. i mean you dont know for sure the kid is even high. He just smells of the stuff. Even crims need to be proven guilty. Would you do that if you smelt beer on their breath? Also what time is the curfew? is it 9.30? if so what kid would not be a little late? If your post implies that you would immediately send them away for being late having perhaps smoked drugs 9you think) would it not occur to you say PARENT THE KID YOURSELF!
By taking the car keys and chatting about the legal and ethical dangers of driving under the influence of anything, you can keep the kid safe & you can give them the chance to earn back some trust.
What shits me to tears about the "programme" mentality is that as soon as a kid fucks up the loose their right to be a member of the family and  get "banished" and told they do not deserve their parents love! "you dont get to communicate because you disrespected your mom"
Even with setting limits or penalising youthful indiscresions i would be heartbroken to think that my kid felt that my love was conditional. There is a HUGE difference between taking away priveliges that a kid may not have the maturity to have for a short period of time & explaining why "Eg I just dont feel that you are safe. Show me otherwise for a few weeks then we will talk" & sending your kid the message that they have fucked up so badly that they dont deserve your love & cant be a member of the family until they change everything about themselveds & become the kind of citizen you want them to be. Parental love in all these damn places  (even the nice looking ones) is marketed as being so godamn conditional. What happened to the parrents door always being open!!!
Also