Stoughton - A question for "Staff/Old Comers"

[Anonymous]

Not curious or debating, just wanted to point out some falseties about some people I understood you saying to be gay, what they have done, where they live. I could have mis-interpretted your words since they contained so many "ass sniffing" comments. I knew you actually, and i was newcomers with pete benzmiller. I have played frisbee in Harvard Square. Walked along the charles. You  seem so mad for a hippie. Does your band play punk music?

[Anonymous]

no,i'm actually not a mean guy at all!i earned my "nick name" it was given to me by my friends...i didn't make it up myself nor did i like the nickname at first either...but i am what i am!....i am a hippie..
have been since before str8!where in the "rule book" does it state that i can't be mad for the crap that happened to me in that place?....yes i am mad....
mad as hell at a lot of shit that happened to me during and after str8.....i've never done a mean thing to anybody that didn't have it coming....
6 months ago,after keeping my chin up and trying to move on after all these yrs,i came to realise just how much crap i was "brainwashed" into accepting....how much unnessary crap was done to me while i was involved in there....how much crap f-ed soooo many other ppl in there before or after my own "tenure" in that dispicable place! i didn't deserve the crap stoughton str8 did to me..
shit if they had said don't come up,that would've been ok.....but the crap they did to me up there was an all time low to me......it messed my "brainwashed head" up really bad.....after that,all the illusions that that place was a good place just simply disappeared.....oh,i know,AA/str8 would say that i didn't "work my program",thats why i didn't stay "sober".....no,in my case that just simply not true.....i lost my belief in that place...
dude or sister,{not sure which}i wasn't even allowed to go to the 7 step meetings....."sylvia" said i'd be arrested if i ever stepped foot on the premises....i have a lot of very bitter,unresolved feelings about what happened to me up there....it was totally unnessesary to do to me...it almost killed me man.....those ppl i mentioned were extremly involved in that witch hunt....whiffed deanie beanies ass for approval and screwed me over....lol...how would you have felt in my shoes? i trusted them! they were my roommates!i tried to just forget what happened to me during and after str8,hell,i didn't even talk
about str8 for 18+ yrs,but it kept on haunting me.....and still affects me daily in life....one
thing i have found out on this or the other sites,is that i'm not alone.....look...read...and
you'll see that i'm right.....i'll tell you this about me,if you were broke down on the side of the road,i'd be the one to help you....rain,snow
etc....it wouldn't matter!i was like that before i went into str8,i was like that after str8,if
what happened to me under the Miller newton experience wasnt enough,stoughton had to do a shitty thing like that to me?i've never forgotten what happened to me up there...it's as if it was yesterday man.....maybe i shouldn't have mentioned names,you might be right....but you'll never see anything that says i was part of f-ing anyone up in there....you'll never hear that i took part in a deliberate scheme to f- somone up in there,you'll never hear ANY of my NEW COMERS SAY THAT I WAS A BRUTAL,MIND F_ING PERSON TO ANY OF THEM! in st pete,i was percieved as "weak" because i never just yelled ,screamed and cussed anyone out just to kiss staffs ass....i wanted to help ppl,i was smart enough to know that kind of approach was stupid.....it used to piss jim sailor off that my approach actually worked with a lot of ppl i did confront.....in fact,when i 7 stepped...many ppl that graduated after me,would thank me for being sincere to them!they became some of my best friends later......i can call ANY
of them and i won't get the phone slammed in my ear!......well,if you want,please send me a private e-mail.....shit, you might find out i'm not that bad a person after all.....hippie

[Anonymous]

hippie, do you smoke pot?

[Anonymous]

i remember dave hippie, and his sister trisha???

[Anonymous]

thats a cool name! just like "in living color"...the dancers were called "fly girls" right?your question is a good one.....
i made a promise to my new comers,the night i 7 stepped,that i would keep coming in to see how they were doing....you see,jim sailor{if you were in st pete,you knew him on your phases/as a staff member}was an asshole to so many ppl,especially to
3 of my 10 newcomers in V.A....one of them , he torured so bad,was so tramatised,that he just couldn't move on....he had been on 1st phase his entire time in st.pete,then more of the same in V.A.! NO ONE wanted to take him home with them
because they were afraid that they'd get set back
for not being able to get him moving along on his"program"....i was doing somthing at the time and since i didn't have hearing worth a shit,i couldn't understand what was going on.....when i was done i walked back over to the 5th phase side of group and asked what was up.....another 5th phaser told me...jim was tearing into this guy pretty bad and blaming the group for this newcomers lack of progress....i thought "this is funny,i thought YOU were the staff member JIM!""isn't it your JOB to help him,not ours"....
then i raised my hand...jim looked at me and said "what?!" i said "i'll take him!"in my head i said to myself"you m-fer....jim was real bad on me too....2 times to the "timeout room" with jim for "therapy" at its best....the first week there he took me to the timeout room twice....the second time he pushed me so hard i couldn't get up right away....then he left me in the dark with the lights out and the door shut the rest of the day....
i saw taking this newcomer as a way to show up the incompetance of the staff......especially him dean minstreta and joey glaze......and thats just what i did...! this newcomer,kevin grimes,when i got him,was being treated like an animal!jim had him on P.B.J's! only at his foster home he had to eat them standing on his knees!....the more i talked to him{kevin}on the way home that 1st night, the more i could see that he had been treated extremly shitty by all the oldcomers he had had...when we got to my house we all sat down to eat...except kevin....he started to kneel down.....i said "w.t.f. is this?"then he told me about his "list" of consequences...i promtly grabed a pillow and told him to use it....one of my other newcomers said"i don't feel good about this!staff didn't say he could have a pillow!"i looked at him and said"did you hear staff say he couldn't have a pillow?"...of course "no" was the answer to that....then i looked at all of my newcomers and said "i'll never treat any of you like an animal!NEVER!"oh,i had to give kevin a pbj
sandwich.....but i let him make it,and i gave him a half a loaf of PITA BREAD TO MAKE IT WITH!....not a tiny 2 slices of regular bread...
i told kevin and the rest of my newcomers that they would go home from my house.....needless to say a month later kevin did just that!...in fact 7 - 10 of my NEWC's graduated after leaving my house as NEWC's!i'm very proud of that....considering the statistics i have read online as to how many ppl really graduated from that place!
kevins going "home" baffled jim sailor.....one night he stopped in front of me while i was in line and said"i don't know what you did to move him along,but i have to say whatever you did,it works!"i thought to myself,"i treated him like a human being jim...." it was then that my newcomers talked me into staff traing or "p.t."..
but i never became a staff member...i guess they didn't think i was "asshole" enough for them....
 as i said in the begining,i kept my promise and saw my newc's through thier "hell time"! i gave them somthing to look forward to....hope,life after str8 and they knew i was thier friend,not just another oldcomer.....after fred collins sued str8,str8 had to make changes,miller left and things got way better than when you and i were in there....{thats an honest opinion ...i have somthing to compare this with! that does not imply that str8 wasn't still a really hard f-ing place to be in,or that it was a "soft parade"} i thought that i could make a difference and truly help the ppl in there like i did with my newc's!
since school was f-ed up and all i had was a ged,
i looked at str8 as an opportunity to be a counselor.....that it would give me a foundation towards a career helping ppl.....i should've known
better.....thats my fault! but like i said, my methods helped ppl.....the group loved me....and in all my yrs involved with str8,i never saw the group out 'n out rebell when a staffer was fired and saying thier goodbyes,but it happened for me! again thankyou stoughton kids...that was the only good memory i had from my staff experience! i am so sorry this was such a long letter....i hope i answered all your thoughts and questions!...hippie

[Anonymous]

u did not, do you smoke pot hippie? Did dave have sister trisha? The boston commons is a place i have napped before.

[Anonymous]

It's a good thing you were not my old commer. I would have had to do some serious damage control. I was pleased my oldcommer just left me alone, and let me choose to "work" or not "work" the program. I can't half blame her though, she saw me fight back all day to those who fucking assulted me, by touching me in the slightest ways. Needless to say, no matter the lie they told us all, about being there shorter time if you work the program, I got out A Whole lot faster than most. I won=) I won=) No hyped up, selfish, image-belief pushing, lieing, manipulating olcommer ever made me write an MI=) Or do any dam thing. And for that, I respected them enough to not cause any violence at their homes. It was like an unspoken agreement. But I had a few PoS oldcommers, and I made sure their home was disrupted, so I could move to another one, who had more respect for humanity.

I can't believe you are so pleased with yourself for MAKING a newc COMPY, after they had already had a natural response not to. Here's a cookie, would you like some kool-aide with that also?

Maybe I am reading you wrong here, but if you are actually cheering yourself on for this, I'da fucked you up back then =)

[Anonymous]

COMPY = COMPLY!

[Anonymous]

dont be a hinderance to a communicative process assholio!

[Anonymous]

stupid free speech thing again it applies to everyone you know

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you stayed in bad host homes that did not let you use the good sandwich meat.

[Anonymous]

somtimes,i do.....but i don't drink,never did...
i don't do powders,chemicals,pills etc.....basically i don't do anything "man made".
i have a saying"nothing good can come out of somthing bad!"....mushrooms or shrooms...grow off cow shit....if it wasn't anygood in a cow,how can it be good for me?lol...seriously....i didn't quit smoking weed,it just kind of quit me.....i really havn't smoked in 6 months!by that,i mean that i have smoked here and there,but 4-5 puffs every 2 weeks?i don't consider that smoking weed.i mean it is,but its more like somone like my brothers who have a beer or two every now and then...more importantly,its not somthing i try control or constantly keep in check....i guess i'm lucky.....hippie

[Anonymous]

i play the songs that kept me alive in that place.....they said i'd never become a musician
that i would be almost "shooting up" if i ever tried....you know the deal...as far as covers,i play songs that you'll never see a band do....not
because they suck and nobody wants to do them
either,just that they take a long time to get right and they're so legendary in the history of rock music,that a lot of bands/musicians won't do them!basically thier the kind of songs,if you cover them,it has to be done good or don't do them at all!i never liked doing anything everyone else was doing......for instance i play "a day in the life""i am the walrus""strawberryfields forever"
by the legendary beatles....i do led zepplin{been told i do stairway to heaven better than robert plant,i don't know about that,but thats what i'm told}i do pink floyd....the whole medley in the begining of "dark side of the moon"..."shine on you crazy diamonds""wish you were there"......
not only that i do nirvana tunes too,stp,soundgarden{blackhole sun is an awsome tune},the smashing pumpkins...i do neil young a lot,.....you know what the craziest thing is?
i do all of these songs accoustic!a trade off from my "harvard square days" after str8,i played as a street musician......i learned how to sing while i was in str8....everytime i asked if i could sing a song to the group,i was singing 1 of those stupid songs we had to sing,for practice!
right under those f-ers noses i was teaching myself to sing......i never wavered from my goal as a kid.....its a shame though....i didn't believe i could do it professionally for a long time after str8...so i really didn't give it a real try till i lived up here in pa....even as a street musician,i didn't play much...not like i do today.....20 yrs after str8,i was so messed up from all the b.s. that happened in there that i was/am seeing professional help.i should've been doing that yrs ago,but after what we all went through,that was the last thing i wanted to do!...they had me on meds,but i just wasn't fully functional.....while i was seeing a counselor,taking meds,i got talked into playing music again{i had quit for 3 yrs}
little by little it became my medicine!when i'm not playing,if i don't have somthing going,i get real f-ed up! i have to do it....it makes me a better person to be around.....and it keeps me from honestly going crazy.....i don't take the meds anymore....just music.....if you read these postings on this site,you'll see that i put up a concert every yrs called the "gigaroo"....everyone is welcome!its like a mini woodstock! camping is free and its only 15 per,or 25 for couples.....come to it..i promise you'll like it!...hippie

[Anonymous]

"wish yopu were here...lol...duh!hippies type-o's
have a good laugh...hip

[Anonymous]

jeez...you cant tell i did drugs huh?...."wish you were here"....hip....{again}