Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

"if you don't, she will die"

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JaLong:
Honesty Greg?? Well let me tell you, after reading these articles memories that I assume have been buried have sufaced. I thought I had taken care of EVERYTHING in me concerning the seed.. Guess not.
Anyhow, as I was reading I remembered when my parents tricked me into going to the store with them, and at the last minute my mom wanted to go, I was stuck between them in the front seat of the car. Out of my dad's pockect came a "phoney" court order. I freaked and tried shoving my mom out of the car door on park street. To no avail, I ended up in the seeds parking lot. I now remember I refused to get out of the car. I was kicking and screaming "NO"!! I was pulled out of the car by three big guys,(I am female)and they tried getting me into the building. I talked them into letting walk in, yet they still hung on to my pants and hands. Once inside, Dear Mrs Peterson "welcomed" me with threats of calling the police and having me arrested for selling drugs. She said, "every police dept. knows you sell drugs, from St.Pete Bch, T.I., Maderia, to Seminole." That might have been true, yet I didn't want to go to jail. It took me, after tearing up or chewing up the intake paper, I finally resigned myself to signing it. Then I was taken to the bathroom and searched. I have had that shoved deep down inside of me for 33 yrs now.
Man, first I am gang raped at 14 yrs old, put in the seed at 17 in July 73, then I see one of my rapist on staff.....  Man does that suck or what?? Greg,a big part of me wants to say thank you for putting these articles up, yet while reading them  my heart was beating awfully fast from the stuffed memories of my first day of the seed. I do not and have never capitalized the name the "seed", because the name and everything it stood for doesn't deserve any honor from me. I just hope I have no more surpressed memories. That's why I keep getting drawn here to read the latest. Thank you Greg. I can now release some more garbage from my teenage yrs.
God bless, Julie

GregFL:
You know Julie, I get what you are saying. Part of me sometimes thinks the easy way out is not to confront this stuff.

But dammit, it did happen, now didn't it?

All of the lovey dovey dead-insane, instant-family, and other self masturbation talk changes not one iota of what the seed really was, a forced indoctrination camp designed to culturally change us children into the image of what our parents thought we should be.

Forcing someone to change their personality involves some extreme ugliness, and not facing that ugliness in my opinion, keeps us from being whole people.

Julie, on the article I just posted  "today the seed, tomorrow the world", my heart was pounding as well.  Every stinking fucking thing said in that article is true, and here is the big one...our parents knew it but choose to support the Seed anyway.  This stuff was all over the press and on everyone's lips.  Yet, they so wanted us to change into that smiling country-loving compliant seedling, just like the kid down the street.

Stripe:
Julie,

It is tough to reconcile what we have choosen to remember with actual accounts. I understand your pain and when I read the newest article about the boy named Pat, it brought me to tears.  

I guess the good thing that comes out of actually facing the pain and truth of the Seed is that once you face it, it's over and it's done.  There is no more stuff slightly under the surface that you have to keep in check so that your world doesn't crack up.  Peace be with you, Julie.

Kevin Jean

JaLong:
Greg, that article about "Pat" is so true. The seed told my parents that I would never be able to go home again if they didn't bring my middle sister in. She tried weed one frickin time, and in she came. After "graduating", she has refused to talk about the seed still after all these years. It messed her up really badly. Ya know Greg that I have been pretty much pro-seed here, yet also sharing what I had been through.
Now my dear friend, "I can see clearly now" that Art Barker was an egotistic, self-indulging, insane man. The seed did suck, just like all of the bumper stickers that were plastered all over our garage door one morning when we woke up. The judges were fooled. The State Attorney was fooled. The government was fooled, and so were our parents.
I know I was a very messed up teenager, and yes I did do many drugs. My parents lost contol of me, as I lost control of myself. I will end this by saying the only thing good about the seed is I am still alive. I was made to get off of the streets. A horrible way to do it, but as my parents have told me, they didn't know what else to do. They were scared for me, and they themselves were very insecure people. They fell for the bull that their friends, who were my friends parents already in the seed said. You will not be hearing me talk positive about the seed again. It was an institution that brain washed children. I know I was knocked down to a nothing,(didn't think I could feel any worse about myself), and they tried to build me up to be like everyone else. Thanks again for all that you do.
God Bless You,
Julie

JaLong:
Thanks Kevin,
I understand what you are saying. While remembering what I did, at first I felt sad, then anger, then relief. Relief because I confronted a memory that really hurt me at the time when I was 17. Now 33 yrs later, I can remember something, think about it, and just let it go. As I said to Greg, the seed saved my life 'ONLY" because I was off of the streets. The rest of the experience was pretty much a nightmare. Yes, Susie Connors was there for me, yet now I wonder with what kind of sincerity?? It doesn't really matter any more, because it is all over with. That part of my life is history, and I sure would love to write a book about my life. I'd probably name it," From hell to Heaven." LOL. I do have peace in my life Kevin, and I appreciate your caring and kind words. This means a lot to me. Take care Kevin.
Julie

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