Recent Hyde Graduate . . .

Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools

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Rwrush:
Reading many of the messages on this site have left me as a Hyde former Hyde student frustrated and confused as to what parents in this country are teaching their children. Most of the messages I have read seemed to portray Hyde as an institution that does not place the value on education, in either a character or academic sense. I would like to take this opportunity to contradict this opinion with my own.
In my two years of attending Hyde and my four (and counting) years involved with the schools I have seen and been part of many significant life changes. To hear how the school "brain washes" kids and parents that come through and somehow convinces them to take part in an "inferior" educational process seems to me to be blatant ignorance. In fact, those words were very similar to mine when I was a 16 year old sibling in the Hyde program. To go along with this point, I WAS also afraid of anything that might be challenging to me in any substantial way.
Through my time at Hyde there were many moments that I wanted to back down and run from my fears and problems like most kids my age, but my parents would not allow me to do this, they took a stand where most parents would back down and let me live my life of mediocrity. I went from a scared child with bad grades, a poor work ethic, no direction and no real sense of self to a young man who not only knows who I want to be, but that no matter what happens I have a group of people who believe in me and would support me regardless of my life circumstances.
I grew in many ways and am quickly maturing into a young man of standards and honor, standards that I am disappointed to say I don?t see many of my peers in college pursuing. I would attribute this success to my time at Hyde School. I was given an environment that I truly wish everyone could experience and give a chance, contradictory to what many people on this site seem to believe, EVERYONE COULD USE HYDE.
Now in a more direct response to some of the opinions that I have read, I would like to site some of the comments that I have reviewed. Perhaps the most troubling to me was this "Shame on Joe Gauld - and shame on his pathetic family followers and other weird followers......." This statement truly captures and gives justice to my point. A process with is undoubtedly hard and requires personal sacrifice of emotional comfort and time BUT has worked for thousands of families and students is hardly pathetic. Joe Gauld has helped change thousands of lives, for the better by having the courage to face, accept and tell the truth, to everyone he meets. From my experience, and take it as you will, those who leave Hyde with a bitter taste in their mouths are those who cowardly shrank from the tasks in front of them, parents afraid to truly invest and teach their children, or students afraid to face themselves. While I am by no means saying that this encompasses every family/student that attends and then leaves Hyde I firmly believe that this is the case in the majority. I have personally seen parents selfishly take themselves and their comfort with feeling in control and strong more seriously than their job and commitment as a parent at least 50 times, and not once has it benefited the student. Usually this has to do with the parent?s lack of willingness to give the Hyde Process a chance in their own lives. Wrapping up as I believe I have said most of what I have to say at the moment, I do to stress as well to all those who I directly challenged their commitment to their job as a parent that before you get all fired up at me and this comment, remember that it is you that your children learn the most from and most directly reflect in most ways, your decisions will and have reflected in many different ways in their lives, before you quit on yourself again and the Hyde process altogether, remember and have the courage to face, like many Hyde parents before you, that you do have a huge and vital role to play in who your young man/woman grows up to be. Don't teach them to run from their fears and mistakes.

Thoughtfully,
Richard Rush
Class of 2005
Freshman at Syracuse University
rwrush@syr.edu

P.S. I would love to get some response for further discussion at my e-mail.

Lars:
I appreciate your thoughts, but I have to tell you that I think that your experience puts you in very small minority of people who attended. I would definately take issue with your statement that Joe Gauld has changed thousands of lives for the better. Undoubtedly, some folks do benefit from the place, but for many like myself, the constant drama & confrontation made it a brutal, soul-sucking, cult-like experience. To put it another way, I graduated from Hyde and have gone on to a successful career and I will NEVER go back. Understand that the people who hate the place are not just people who "cowardly shrank from the tasks in front of them." To the contrary, many who can't stand Hyde are people of strong moral character who recoiled at the emotionally humiliating and intellectually stifling atmosphere of the place. The principles they preach are, in and of themselves, fine. But the ways in which they try to instill them are often abusive, wrong-headed and even criminally negligent. You seem to buy into their mantra that their way is the right way for everyone - It isn't, not by a long shot.

I'm glad you had positive experience. Some do. But take it from someone who stuck it out through the whole process (and, contrary to what one of the trolls on this board claimed, worked hard & busted ass to get a diploma), there are good reasons why most of us who made it through that place never look back, my venting on this board notwithstanding.

Hope that helps. If not, read over the earlier posts on this site. Some are crap, but there's some powerful messages to ponder. Don't take this wrong way, but given some of the phrasing you use, you may not have realized that many good people suffered terribly for reasons other than "not having the courage to face the truth" - consider how horrible it would be to have a serious affliction like clinical depression treated as a character problem. It happens there all the time.

Food for thought...

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2006-01-10 20:48:00, Rwrush wrote:

"Reading many of the messages on this site have left me as a Hyde former Hyde student frustrated and confused as to what parents in this country are teaching their children. Most of the messages I have read seemed to portray Hyde as an institution that does not place the value on education, in either a character or academic sense. I would like to take this opportunity to contradict this opinion with my own.

In my two years of attending Hyde and my four (and counting) years involved with the schools I have seen and been part of many significant life changes. To hear how the school "brain washes" kids and parents that come through and somehow convinces them to take part in an "inferior" educational process seems to me to be blatant ignorance. In fact, those words were very similar to mine when I was a 16 year old sibling in the Hyde program. To go along with this point, I WAS also afraid of anything that might be challenging to me in any substantial way.

Through my time at Hyde there were many moments that I wanted to back down and run from my fears and problems like most kids my age, but my parents would not allow me to do this, they took a stand where most parents would back down and let me live my life of mediocrity. I went from a scared child with bad grades, a poor work ethic, no direction and no real sense of self to a young man who not only knows who I want to be, but that no matter what happens I have a group of people who believe in me and would support me regardless of my life circumstances.

I grew in many ways and am quickly maturing into a young man of standards and honor, standards that I am disappointed to say I don?t see many of my peers in college pursuing. I would attribute this success to my time at Hyde School. I was given an environment that I truly wish everyone could experience and give a chance, contradictory to what many people on this site seem to believe, EVERYONE COULD USE HYDE.

Now in a more direct response to some of the opinions that I have read, I would like to site some of the comments that I have reviewed. Perhaps the most troubling to me was this "Shame on Joe Gauld - and shame on his pathetic family followers and other weird followers......." This statement truly captures and gives justice to my point. A process with is undoubtedly hard and requires personal sacrifice of emotional comfort and time BUT has worked for thousands of families and students is hardly pathetic. Joe Gauld has helped change thousands of lives, for the better by having the courage to face, accept and tell the truth, to everyone he meets. From my experience, and take it as you will, those who leave Hyde with a bitter taste in their mouths are those who cowardly shrank from the tasks in front of them, parents afraid to truly invest and teach their children, or students afraid to face themselves. While I am by no means saying that this encompasses every family/student that attends and then leaves Hyde I firmly believe that this is the case in the majority. I have personally seen parents selfishly take themselves and their comfort with feeling in control and strong more seriously than their job and commitment as a parent at least 50 times, and not once has it benefited the student. Usually this has to do with the parent?s lack of willingness to give the Hyde Process a chance in their own lives. Wrapping up as I believe I have said most of what I have to say at the moment, I do to stress as well to all those who I directly challenged their commitment to their job as a parent that before you get all fired up at me and this comment, remember that it is you that your children learn the most from and most directly reflect in most ways, your decisions will and have reflected in many different ways in their lives, before you quit on yourself again and the Hyde process altogether, remember and have the courage to face, like many Hyde parents before you, that you do have a huge and vital role to play in who your young man/woman grows up to be. Don't teach them to run from their fears and mistakes.

Thoughtfully,

Richard Rush

Class of 2005

Freshman at Syracuse University

rwrush@syr.edu

P.S. I would love to get some response for further discussion at my e-mail.

"

--- End quote ---

I am very pleased to know that you had a good experience at Hyde. I have no doubt that some Hyde graduates value and benefit from their experience. I'm not at all interested in challenging your beliefs about how useful the experience was for you.

I know from my own experience at Hyde that many students and parents do not share your views. You seem to suggest, like many people affiliated at Hyde, that things don't work out well there ONLY when parents don't invest themselves in the Hyde experience and when students/parents aren't willing to take responsibility and address their character and attitude issues. I don't doubt that what you say is true in some cases.

However, I know for a fact that many students have a hard time at Hyde because their needs are not being met, or cannot be met, by the Hyde model. As you probably know from your 2 years there, many students are admitted to Hyde with moderate to serious mental health issues. Since our family started at Hyde a couple of years ago we've encountered, directly, an enormous number of students with diagnosed clinical depression, eating disorders, substance abuse problems, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, etc. As many parents have commented on this website, Hyde does not offer mental health services for these students. Often the kids who end up on 2-4 or in more serious trouble at Hyde (academically or otherwise) are kids who clearly need help and aren't getting it at Hyde. Have you noticed how high the attrition (drop-out) rate is at Hyde?

Hyde's approach is that every behavioral issue is an attitude or character issue. That's definitely true in some instances, but in many the student's story is much more complicated. We've talked with quite a few parents who have decided to withdraw their child from Hyde -- not because they aren't committed to examining their own attitudes -- but because Hyde cannot meet their kids' needs. The harsh environment that many students experience at Hyde is not a good fit given their mental health needs. More and more educational consultants are discovering Hyde's shortcomings.

The problem is compounded sometimes in discovery groups, family seminars, and FLCs, where very complex and sensitive issues come up and there's no one in the room who has training to handle them. I've seen first-hand how some of these sessions become volatile, emotionally distressing, etc. and the facilitator doesn't know how to handle it. This can be very destructive for some participants.

I'm glad to know that you appreciate Joe Gauld. Obviously some people have a good experience with him. Many, however, do not. Perhaps you haven't witnessed his periodic tirades and emotional assaults on parents and students. His behavior at times is terribly unprofessional and harmful.

I think it's important that you acknowledge that your Hyde experience is not necessarily the same as everyone else's. I hope you've read the many postings on this website where parents have described their very painful, harmful Hyde experiences (you have to sort through some silly and inappropriate comments too). There are lots of very bad Hyde stories (unprofessional and unethical conduct by Hyde staff, poor teaching, emotional abuse, etc.), with facts to back them up, to go along with your good story. That doesn't detract from your good story; but your good story doesn't erase the horrible experiences many of us have had.

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2006-01-10 21:38:00, Lars wrote:

"I appreciate your thoughts, but I have to tell you that I think that your experience puts you in very small minority of people who attended. I would definately take issue with your statement that Joe Gauld has changed thousands of lives for the better. Undoubtedly, some folks do benefit from the place, but for many like myself, the constant drama & confrontation made it a brutal, soul-sucking, cult-like experience. To put it another way, I graduated from Hyde and have gone on to a successful career and I will NEVER go back. Understand that the people who hate the place are not just people who "cowardly shrank from the tasks in front of them." To the contrary, many who can't stand Hyde are people of strong moral character who recoiled at the emotionally humiliating and intellectually stifling atmosphere of the place. The principles they preach are, in and of themselves, fine. But the ways in which they try to instill them are often abusive, wrong-headed and even criminally negligent. You seem to buy into their mantra that their way is the right way for everyone - It isn't, not by a long shot.

I'm glad you had positive experience. Some do. But take it from someone who stuck it out through the whole process (and, contrary to what one of the trolls on this board claimed, worked hard & busted ass to get a diploma), there are good reasons why most of us who made it through that place never look back, my venting on this board notwithstanding.

Hope that helps. If not, read over the earlier posts on this site. Some are crap, but there's some powerful messages to ponder. Don't take this wrong way, but given some of the phrasing you use, you may not have realized that many good people suffered terribly for reasons other than "not having the courage to face the truth" - consider how horrible it would be to have a serious affliction like clinical depression treated as a character problem. It happens there all the time.

Food for thought...

"

--- End quote ---

Thanks, Lars, for posting your comments about what happened to you at Hyde. I'm sure Rush is telling it like it is from his point of view. That's great that he had a good experience at Hyde. But my own experience at Hyde is much more similar to yours than Rush's. Every once in awhile I come across someone who talks about Hyde the way Rush does; often they're NOT the heavy duty "turnaround" kids that make up most of the kids who get sent to Hyde by their frustrated parents (I find they are more likely to be siblings of former Hyde students, Hyde faculty and staff kids, etc.). Much more common are comments like yours.

After associating with Hyde people (students and parents) now for several years I have a very strong feeling that there are tons of people out there who had miserable experiences at Hyde and were afraid to speak up while there because they didn't trust Hyde staff. I know from my own experience that people who openly criticized Hyde or threatened to leave paid for it in the form of harassment, emotional abuse, pressure and manipulation. Obviously some people, like Rush, made it through Hyde in good shape. I can't begin to tell you how many people I have encountered who feel very scarred by their Hyde experience. The sad thing is that those who are super angry often leave Hyde in a hurry and don't want to look back. Unfortunately most parents looking at Hyde don't hear about all of those unhappy people.

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