Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Straight, Inc. and Derivatives

Chanting???

<< < (5/16) > >>

Woof-a-Doof:
Hey Dragonfly :wave:

Yes, fucking with freshly poured concrete. At the age I went in (15) I was clueless. My home was on the beach which was the best playground I could have hoped for. I hadn't formed any opinions or focus on any idealogy/religion/pshycology/etc.

To follow the concrete analogy, the concrete had yet to be poured, although the mix had already begun. Now add unskilled mason wanna be's and trow um a trowel and a long 2x4. After the conrete cures, hardens, it will reflect the skills of the ones that handeled  the concrete mix.

I dont see myself at the time, having basic knowledge that I could double-cross myself. I probably had about a nine word vocabulary at the time. (whoa, cool, what a rush, dude, got a light, etc). The words, self deception, or perhaps "Selling Out" were words I had heard but really had no idea of their depth and weight.

But with out having the words to know what I was doing, I also did what ever I could do to "GET OUT".  I ran, copped out, whatever it was called later on....but I "SPLIT" as it was called back in the day. I was a "jerk" for a short time (didnt have the tenacity for it), finally I resigned to the idea/notion of having to conform. That was the deepest cut, but it was seen (re-enforced by parents/staff) as the greatest accomplishment. And I could not see and end to the insainity, truely hopeless. I had no street sense and no survival skills, this was also hammered into the forefront of my conciousness, I think as a way to further intimidate and berate me into submission and conformity.

I had to pull off the greatest acting of my life, and sincerity was one of the top ten facets of my...um, character. So yeah I think I understand...took me along time to realize that I had to seriously sit down and seperate the true (perminate) and false (imperminate). So many things were bastardized and twisted...needlessly.

I am seeing alot of sober/straight stories and programs getting thier 15 minutes of fame and I know there is a huge market for these facilities, the parents looking to off thier kids to camp...."you fix um....dont care what ya do....you fix um". I think about the decsion the people make and I KNOW from personal experience of what the outcome could very well be, buy my direct experience and those who had same/similiar experience.

Sorry for the rant, the anniversary of my first intake is rapidly approaching. Every year I recognise the date and the days before it. The day is usually uneventfull...no flowers or cards. I was unaware of this forum last year, so this year seems a lil more intense....guess thats normal.

Thinking a bit more about the "acting" thing...I mentioned that I thought I had the personality that would do well in a monastic setting, more asetic monk...the ones ya find in the deep indian jungles, covered with ash...That might be a bit extreme, but god how I love my home life...got my girl and two maine coon cats. If could just be a mere bit of what they think of me I would consider that my greatest achievement!

Puff Puff Pass

dragonfly:

starry-eyed pirate:
Fuck all the institutions.  "The mighty God is a livin' man". You are God.  We are Gods.  All authority is false.  None but ourselves can free ourselves.

starry-eyed pirate:
I mean it's ridiculous really...all these social institutions like churches and schools and $tr8 and the law tryin' to claim authority.  

It's like authority is claimin' to teach you how to ride a bike, but never lets you take off the trainin' wheels, all the while tellin' you you're doin' it.  But you are never allowed to grow into your true potential as a human being because authority is always stuntin' your growth and keepin' you from ridin' very far.  We become dependent on the trainin' wheels and they become a symbol of security.  

Who knows where we might ride but authority is afraid they will lose control of you.  You think you're havin' fun and livin' well but you are truly a slave.  The trainin' wheels might as well be chains.  

Authority is an illusion.

Dr Fucktard:

--- Quote ---Authority is an illusion.
--- End quote ---

It's no illusion at SIBS, boy...

Love ya!  :wave:

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page