From the Law Offices of Khazad-dum
44 Misty Mountain Road, Moria, Middle Earth;
Working under retainer for Mister Pink has afforded me many opportunities to meet and converse with a wide range of people from the criminally insane to the captains of industry. Having said that, the Elan Reporter is one of my favorite contacts in the murky world of underground investigative journalism. I have personally witnessed the Reporter fire many a shot in anger, both metaphorically, with his computer keyboard, and literally, with his bow and arrow. The Reporter, to my recollection, has never claimed to be human, rather a super-human bipedal being with far superior intellect and unrelenting outdoor reconnoitering talents, which allow him to spy on misbehaving injuns and mongolians so they may be brought to justice for their myriad perversions. In fact, over sixteen inditements are pending in U.S. Superior Court regarding some prominent induviduals in the Native American Casino industry, bringing me to ask (at the bequest of my client) if Marty has any ties with these sick pedophile redskins and their fecal tomahawks? To sate some concerns about my client, I can only assure that his absense is temporary, and he, as did General Macarthur before him did, will return...
In addendum, the Porsche is running great, and the charges were all dropped.
-Mr. Pink's Attorney