Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones
Side/after effects and symptoms from CEDU Schools
never:
which brown school did you go to. i am just wondering.
draksterd:
"I can think of a few side affects that you don't even realize until years after the program. One is that you lose your sense of boundaries. You overshare at inappropriate times or you distance yourself when you shouldn't because you are used to people exploiting and distorting your feelings, disregarding your thoughts and feelings in favor of program thinking. Also, you may have picked up some of the useless and abominable ways of interacting. The real world ain't gonna respond to your little rap tactics too favorably. Basically, I think it fucks with your interrelating skills and your ability to set boundaries, because NO ONE respected any boundaries."
this is so true. it took me years to learn to keep my mouth shut and not get into a dmc (deep meaningful conversation) with a total stranger, or 'confront' my family members and friends. or 'share my feelings' with them. with age and maturity you eventually get over it since life kicks your ass much harder than cedu ever could. if there is an upside to the things i learned in raps, it's how to totally out talk, out argue and generally fuck with someone's head if needed.
Sentinel:
--- Quote ---On 2006-01-12 19:34:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Total fear of confrontation.
Lack of confidence.
Isolation because of this.
Lack of friends, didn't want to get close to anyone.
Total anger for having to go there and experience that bullshit.
Crappy relationship with my family.
--- End quote ---
when i went back home i became more depressed and withdrawn than i'd ever been before. I wanted to be alone all the time. didnt feel comfortable at all around friends i had known before i got sent away.
3BeanSalad:
I still have side effects.
The biggest being that I feel "different" than anyone who hasn't gone to RMA/Cedu.
The second biggest now realizing RMA/Cedu has traumatized me. Here is an example... Right now, 20 years after RMA/Cedu/Hilltop I am "in my shit" and feeling dirty about it. I am not dirty but I feel dirty and like I should be on bans from everyone because I am in my shit. I believe we were trained to believe that "being in your shit" is bad like being dirty is bad. Instead of looking forward to seeing a handful of RMA Old-timers this weekend I'm feeling like maybe it's better I stay away so I don't drag them down with me, and feeling like this sucks. Is there anyone else who has felt like I do right now?
The third being I have no tolerance for crowds, period.
Here's my edit - Forget "side effects". It has been 20 years since I attended RMA/Cedu/Hilltop. It's permanent DAMAGE. Not side effects.
[ This Message was edited by: 3BeanSalad on 2006-03-23 00:45 ]
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-03-23 00:34:00, 3BeanSalad wrote:
Here's my edit - Forget "side effects". It has been 20 years since I attended RMA/Cedu/Hilltop. It's permanent DAMAGE. Not side effects.
[ This Message was edited by: 3BeanSalad on 2006-03-23 00:45 ]"
--- End quote ---
Its been 17 years since I went there so I get how you feel. Um yeah that is definately one word to describe it. DAMAGED. Does anyone else ever wonder "what is even normal?", after being there your sense of reality sure does get shafted :silly:
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