Former students - Our worst experiences

Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools

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Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2006-06-19 04:16:00, fletch699 wrote:

"Like Lars, I graduated from high school in 1990 (but not from Hyde). I only had one year there (my 8th grade year, so sorry Lars, we didn't overlap, but we probably have some mutual acquaintances). I also went on to get my JD and I, in fact, specialize in contract issues.

I have never seen the contract (if any) that Hyde signs with parents. I'm guessing that what is promised, if anything, is not results, but general statements on boarding/feeding/schooling, and probably not even a particular process (which would give Hyde the latitude they want).

As I've posted recently on another topic on this forum, I think that it is horrible that there are so many students/parents/staffers who have had totally awful Hyde experiences. Hyde does not do their part to limit the incoming students to those that their true process might actually help - but instead seem to take all students, regardless of their underlying issues, apparently for the sake of the almighty dollar.

But, as I also previously said, if parents would not be looking for a place to dump their children... but would instead find the RIGHT place to get their child treatment (if necessary), or a swift kick in the pants (which is what I personally needed, and received, at Hyde) - then maybe some of these horror stories would subside.

Now, this isn't going to repair prior damage... and it's also not going to fix the problem of uneducated staff with respect to dealing with troubled teens (regardless of whether their issues are psychological or attitudinal).

I guess what I have not seen here, with minor exception, is a willingness for the former students (especially those with continued negative feelings about Hyde) to admit the real reasons why they were sent to Hyde. I am not, in any way, a Hyde supporter (I have never given to the school in any way, nor do I provide any kind of volunteer support), mostly because of the problems I mentioned above.

However, I don't see a realization on the part of many former students that 1) their parents were trying to help them... and in that desperate attempt, found Hyde, and that 2) they DID, as students, NEED some sort of help for their problem(s) - whatever they were.

It took me many years to realize what my parents wanted/expected out of me... and when I did realize that they were looking for me to be the best I could be, and were willing to do whatever it took to get me to get there, I realized why they sent me to Hyde and what Hyde could have done for me (if it had been the place it had advertised itself to be). So I don't hold my parents or Hyde to any kind of ill will or negative feelings.

But what keeps bothering me here is that I see dozens of posts (but they're all anonymous, so I can't even get a sense if it's the same person posting repetitively or if it's dozens of unique individuals - which leads me to want to say that they're probably all from a smaller group of repeating individuals). And except for Lars, and a few others, I see no realization of any kind of responsibility for the actions that led to being sent to Hyde.

What that says to me, at least, is that you're looking for someone else to blame. You're looking for an excuse. And now you've found this board where you can at least find some sort of validation (again, the anonymity is nice, but it's also harmful) for your feelings.

No, I don't know what Hyde's college grad statistics are. I don't know what their 5, 10 or 20 year post-Hyde stats are (ie: what is the avg income for a student 10 or 20 years out... or where are they now). And I'm not sure that it matters, either.

To the best of my knowledge, Hyde never promises to "fix" the child. Which means, that if the child fails in the future, it's still not Hyde's fault. Nor is a child's success. My subsequent degrees are NOT the result of a Hyde education. They are the result of hard work, dedication and the realization that *I* am responsible for my own behavior (which IS a result of my attendance at Hyde). So I don't credit Hyde with my successes or failures. I credit Hyde with giving me the beginning to understanding myself. And that's all they're entitled to.

So don't blame the school for your actions, if that's what this is about. Don't blame the school for not being able to fix you - because they can't. You have to fix you. Or you at least have to find the right "help" to fix yourself."

--- End quote ---

Hey Fletch, what do you think about the lax sex policy at Hyde School and all these posts about a pervert running around on campus?

fletch699:
Actually, I was pointed to this site by a former co-worker who I discovered was also a Hyde alum.

I don't know how it found it, though. Sorry!

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2006-06-19 17:00:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-06-19 04:16:00, fletch699 wrote:

"Like Lars, I graduated from high school in 1990 (but not from Hyde). I only had one year there (my 8th grade year, so sorry Lars, we didn't overlap, but we probably have some mutual acquaintances). I also went on to get my JD and I, in fact, specialize in contract issues.

I have never seen the contract (if any) that Hyde signs with parents. I'm guessing that what is promised, if anything, is not results, but general statements on boarding/feeding/schooling, and probably not even a particular process (which would give Hyde the latitude they want).

As I've posted recently on another topic on this forum, I think that it is horrible that there are so many students/parents/staffers who have had totally awful Hyde experiences. Hyde does not do their part to limit the incoming students to those that their true process might actually help - but instead seem to take all students, regardless of their underlying issues, apparently for the sake of the almighty dollar.

But, as I also previously said, if parents would not be looking for a place to dump their children... but would instead find the RIGHT place to get their child treatment (if necessary), or a swift kick in the pants (which is what I personally needed, and received, at Hyde) - then maybe some of these horror stories would subside.

Now, this isn't going to repair prior damage... and it's also not going to fix the problem of uneducated staff with respect to dealing with troubled teens (regardless of whether their issues are psychological or attitudinal).

I guess what I have not seen here, with minor exception, is a willingness for the former students (especially those with continued negative feelings about Hyde) to admit the real reasons why they were sent to Hyde. I am not, in any way, a Hyde supporter (I have never given to the school in any way, nor do I provide any kind of volunteer support), mostly because of the problems I mentioned above.

However, I don't see a realization on the part of many former students that 1) their parents were trying to help them... and in that desperate attempt, found Hyde, and that 2) they DID, as students, NEED some sort of help for their problem(s) - whatever they were.

It took me many years to realize what my parents wanted/expected out of me... and when I did realize that they were looking for me to be the best I could be, and were willing to do whatever it took to get me to get there, I realized why they sent me to Hyde and what Hyde could have done for me (if it had been the place it had advertised itself to be). So I don't hold my parents or Hyde to any kind of ill will or negative feelings.

But what keeps bothering me here is that I see dozens of posts (but they're all anonymous, so I can't even get a sense if it's the same person posting repetitively or if it's dozens of unique individuals - which leads me to want to say that they're probably all from a smaller group of repeating individuals). And except for Lars, and a few others, I see no realization of any kind of responsibility for the actions that led to being sent to Hyde.

What that says to me, at least, is that you're looking for someone else to blame. You're looking for an excuse. And now you've found this board where you can at least find some sort of validation (again, the anonymity is nice, but it's also harmful) for your feelings.

No, I don't know what Hyde's college grad statistics are. I don't know what their 5, 10 or 20 year post-Hyde stats are (ie: what is the avg income for a student 10 or 20 years out... or where are they now). And I'm not sure that it matters, either.

To the best of my knowledge, Hyde never promises to "fix" the child. Which means, that if the child fails in the future, it's still not Hyde's fault. Nor is a child's success. My subsequent degrees are NOT the result of a Hyde education. They are the result of hard work, dedication and the realization that *I* am responsible for my own behavior (which IS a result of my attendance at Hyde). So I don't credit Hyde with my successes or failures. I credit Hyde with giving me the beginning to understanding myself. And that's all they're entitled to.

So don't blame the school for your actions, if that's what this is about. Don't blame the school for not being able to fix you - because they can't. You have to fix you. Or you at least have to find the right "help" to fix yourself."

--- End quote ---

Hey Fletch, what do you think about the lax sex policy at Hyde School and all these posts about a pervert running around on campus?"

--- End quote ---

I think this poster is talking about Larry Dubinsky who was both a student and teacher at Hyde. He has been in a heap of trouble with his lusting after the pretty girls on campus. Did you know him Fletch?

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2006-06-19 15:06:00, fletch699 wrote:

"I'm glad you were able to get your son the help he needed. You do not sound like a bad parent to me (not that I'm an expert on parenting... merely an "experienced son"). Overall, you did everything that I probably would have done.

As for Educational Consultants... well, I'm not really sure what to say. I've never dealt with one and I don't know what they specifically offer. From a consultant-side analysis, however, I would say that I would not recommend anything to anyone that I did not have experience with.

If your EC didn't know anything about Hyde other than word-of-mouth hearsay, they (IMHO) shouldn't have suggested Hyde to you. Depending on your specific circumstances, I might even be so inclined to challenge the EC in court (but that's just the lawyer in me wanting justice). Then again, sometimes it's just better to let it go and move on... especially if things turn out ok in the end.

Overall, I'm just glad that your son eventually got the proper diagnosis and help that he needed. My brother has ADHD (among other issues), and I saw first-hand the horrors in public school education that he went through with untrained educators... and Hyde, again IMHO, wouldn't be any better... and might even be worse.

:)"

--- End quote ---

Since our family's Hyde experience we've learned a lot about educational consultants (ECs). We were pretty naive before our Hyde experience. Here's what we now know and wish we knew before: Like every other group of professionals, there's enormous variation among ECs. Many ECs are very talented and committed and know a great deal about the schools to which they refer families. We've met or talked with other ECs who are much less informed and know schools only by their superficial reputations. We've now been in touch with about a dozen very impressive ECs who refuse to refer families to Hyde. They have learned how flawed Hyde is and how damaging it can be, mainly because of the poor fit between the staff's ability and the enormous problems many Hyde students have. Like a number of people who have posted comments here, we learned through painful experience how poorly trained many Hyde staff are and how little they understand about the students' very complicated psychiatric, behavioral and substance abuse problems. We've also learned that there are a number of other schools that accept similar type students but, unlike Hyde, have well trained staff and a model for dealing with this population. I'm now convinced that many parents send their kids to Hyde because they're desperate and simply aren't familiar with these other schools that have more rigorous admission criteria and more appropriate staff. Parents would really do well to find well informed ECs who really know what Hyde is like and about good alternatives. Chances are these ECs will not refer to Hyde.

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